


Between the Stars

by littleluthor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Set after the finale, angst and fluff and smut and all that good stuff, buckle up ladies and gays, canon compliant but lesbian lena, finds out kara is supergirl, friends to enemies to lovers i guess, gays only event, lena ends up getting pregnant with supergirls dna, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-06-26 10:13:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15661149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleluthor/pseuds/littleluthor
Summary: Lena finds out after a freak accident at the DEO that she is pregnant with Supergirl's baby. She turns to the one person that she feels safe with for support and comfort, only to find out that very same person is in fact the soon to be mother of her unborn child.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> y'all saw the tweet i couldn't get this out of my head so here u go :)

 

 

Lena tossed her pen down on the desk in defeat, opting instead to bury her face in her hands as she let out a long, slow exhale. Her brain was pounding against the inside of her skull and she felt slightly nauseous after not having eaten since lunch almost twelve hours previously. She hadn’t moved from behind her desk since she had taken a quick bathroom break a few hours ago and she knew that she really ought to be heading home to her apartment soon, but she struggled to see the point. It wasn’t like she was sleeping anyway, or rather, she wasn’t sleeping very well. Her dreams were plagued with images of the last few weeks playing on repeat. She would wake up drenched in sweat, having to resist the urge to call and check on Sam in the middle of the night to make sure that she was actually alright and not laying dead in some other realm like her dreams had led her to believe. The only upside to the whole thing was that Lena didn’t have to see Supergirl anymore, she could return to her regular life with her regular friends and, assuming there were no more attempts on her life, she wouldn’t have to see the caped hero again any time soon.

 

Lena knew that the whole thing was beginning to have more of an effect on her than she wanted to acknowledge, while she had managed to work through the stress and frustration at the time, channeling everything into saving Sam and defeating Reign, she was beginning to feel it creep up on her now that everything was settling down and she had nothing to focus her energy on. The nightmares, paired with her almost constant exhaustion and her inability to keep down almost all of her meals, were really taking it’s toll on her. It felt as though the only thing keeping her going these days was Kara. Kara was the only constant in all of the chaos, it seemed as though she could almost read her mind and just know when Lena and Supergirl had had a particularly rough day at the lab. Kara would always show up at her apartment on those days with all of Lena’s favorite snacks and hold her while she vented and, not that she would admit it to anyone else ever, cried a little. If it was anyone else Lena would feel ridiculous about being seen crying over how much National City’s sweetheart had hurt her, but it was different with Kara. She never once felt judged, she felt safe and heard and valid and it warmed her soul in a way that no one else had ever been able to before.

 

The only time Lena ever really slept these days was when Kara spent the night with her, or when she spent the night with Kara. She was embarrassed at first, always falling asleep on Kara’s shoulder whenever they would watch a movie together, it wasn’t until Kara actually asked her if she was getting enough sleep that she admitted that she wasn’t. She told Kara about her nightmares and Kara promised that Lena could call her at any point throughout the night and she would be there for her, whether she wanted her to come over or just stay up on the phone talking all night. Of course, Lena never disturbed her, it wasn’t until she passed out on Kara’s couch during yet another movie night that she faintly registered being carried to bed and tucked in before Kara settled down beside her and pulled her closer to her chest. Lena fell asleep that night with Kara whispering soft reassurances to her as she gently stroked at her hair, it was the most peaceful sleep that she’d had for weeks.

 

Kara seemed to notice after that night that Lena only really slept when she stayed with her, and while Lena felt stupid for needing someone else to be with her so that she could sleep, Kara never actually seemed to mind. She was spending more and more nights wrapped up in Kara’s arms, and with each passing evening she could feel her love for the woman growing exponentially. It was in the quiet moments, just between the two of them, that Lena almost always had to fight off the overpowering impulse to press her lips to Kara’s own. It wasn’t that she didn’t think Kara felt the same way, but she knew there was something bothering her. She could see it in her eyes whenever they were close, Kara was fighting an internal battle and while Lena desperately wanted to help her carry the burden of whatever it was, she knew that if and when Kara felt ready, she would share whatever it was with her. For now, Lena was content with the few evenings a week that she would get to spend wrapped up with her very favorite person, unfortunately this evening was not one of them, which is why she was still at her office as it was approaching midnight.

 

Her head was still throbbing as she eventually gave up on the work that she was doing and decided that instead of disturbing her driver so late at night, she would just go lay down on the couch and see if she could close her eyes for an hour or two. There was really no point in going all the way home just to have another night filled with bad dreams and restless sleep, it made more sense just to stay here so that she could continue her work as soon as her brain felt less achy.

 

Lena wasn’t sure if she was imagining it most nights, if it was a combination of the lack of sleep and the stress, but she was positive that on the evenings that she would work late, she would spot the signature red and blue blur of Supergirl flying past the window more than once. She didn’t have too much time to think about it tonight though, a few moments after she thought that she saw her, her phone began to buzz and all thoughts of Supergirl were quickly forgotten when she saw Kara’s name and contact photo flash across the screen.

 

“Hey, what are you doing up so late?” Lena asked as she pressed the phone to her ear.

 

“Me? What are _you_  doing up so late? I stopped by your apartment to surprise you and they told me that you still hadn’t been home yet so I waited for a little, but it’s almost midnight so I got worried and thought that I would call you, but I should’ve known you would be slaving away in your office.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Lena fidgeted a little with the hem of her skirt, feeling a little like a naughty child being caught out doing something that they shouldn’t be even if she knows Kara is only looking out for her health and well being. “I’ll call reception and tell them to let you up into my apartment and I’ll grab a cab home, I’ll see you soon.” Lena promised as she stood up from the couch and slid her feet back into her heels.

 

“Actually I uh.. I’m outside, I thought I would go for a walk and I noticed a few blocks back that the light in your office was on, so we can get one together if you like? Or I can go back to my apartment if you would rather that, it’s totally up to you, I probably should have asked first.”

 

“Kara it’s fine, really.” Lena assured her with a soft laugh. “I’ll be down in a few minutes, thanks for looking out for me, I’m not sure what I would do without you.”

 

“Probably overwork yourself into an early grave no doubt.” Kara teased, although Lena could hear the little hint of concern hidden in her voice too. “I’ll see you in a few minutes, bye.”

 

“See you soon, bye.” Lena hung up and put her phone back in her pocket as she clicked her way over to the other side of her office and grabbed her coat, giving it a quick once over to make sure that she wasn’t forgetting anything, before switching the light off and making her way down the hall towards to the elevator.

 

When it opened on the ground floor she spotted Kara standing outside almost immediately and found that the tension in her head seemed to ease a little as she swung the door open and Kara pulled her in for a hug. Lena sighed contently as she brought her arms up to wrap around Kara’s neck as she held onto her waist.

 

“Long day?” Kara breathed a laugh against her ear.

 

“You could say that.” Lena huffed as she pulled away and the two of them made their way over to the cab currently waiting for them. “I still have so much paperwork to get done for everything with Sam and Reign, and it just stresses me out because I start thinking about everything that could have gone wrong and all of the different outcomes, and then I think about Supergirl and that stresses me out even more and I start getting frustrated with her and __ugh__ I just want to forget about the whole thing and move on with my life.. I’m sorry I made you wait for so long, if I had known you were at my place I would’ve come home a lot earlier.”

 

“Don’t worry, everything is going to work out, I promise. Things like this just need a little time, but you’ll start having less and less nightmares and once you’re sleeping regularly and actually taking care of yourself..” Kara paused to give Lena a playful, but equally stern look. “Everything else will fall into place, I promise it’s all going to be fine, and I’ll be right here with you until you’re strong enough to do it on your own.”

 

“I love you so much, I hope you know that.” Lena told Kara as she leaned into her in the back of the cab, resting a head on her shoulder as Kara took one of Lena’s hands in her own.

 

“I do, and I hope you know that I love you right back.”

 

When Lena went to sleep that night with Kara pressed up against her back, her breath ghosting along her neck with every exhale, she was inclined to believe that for the first time in a long time, maybe it would all be alright. She felt alright with Kara, and for now that was more than enough. She simply snuggled in a little deeper and allowed herself to succumb to sleep, knowing that when the nightmares came Kara would be right by her side. She wouldn’t be alone.

 

According to the alarm clock on her nightstand, Lena didn’t wake again until the early hours of the morning. Her mind was still fuzzy from sleep, but she knew that she hadn’t had a nightmare, that wasn’t what had woken her. Kara was still sleeping soundly beside her, she had shifted so that she was now facing the other way, but Lena knew from the soft snores emanating from her that she wasn’t awake. It wasn’t until her stomach roiled uncomfortably that she realized what was responsible, it had been happening occasionally and Lena was growing tired of it. She reluctantly slipped the covers off of her, tiptoeing out of the bedroom before picking up the pace as her stomach began to churn a little more insistently.

 

Opting not to turn on the light and irritate her tired eyes, Lena felt her way over to the toilet and dropped to her knees in front of it, scooping her hair back and waiting for the inevitable. She had already thrown up a handful of times in the past week or so, she had initially hoped that it was maybe just one of those twenty four hour bugs that were always going around, but it didn’t seem to go away the next day. Lena knew that her body was run down, she had hardly eaten at all today and there was barely anything to bring up, but her body was trying anyway. Kara was right, she really needed to be taking better care of herself, she couldn’t live like this. Constantly exhausted and throwing up every other day wasn’t a way to spend your life.

 

“Lena?” Kara’s voice, thick with sleep, drifted into the bathroom from down the hall, but Lena wasn’t exactly in a position to answer her right now as her body continuously attempted to expel what little she had eaten. “Lena? Is everything oka- Oh my god! What happened?!” Kara exclaimed as she reached the open door to the bathroom and spotted Lena on the floor. “Are you alright? Do you need me to get you anything? Can I rub your back or do you not like being touched? I know Alex hated people touching her when she was throwing up, but I always found that it helped a little whenever Eliza would do it for me.” she rushed out as her hands hovered awkwardly around Lena.

 

When Lena silently, or rather wordlessly, brushed her off, Kara headed into the kitchen to grab a glass of ice water for her and waited a few minutes before returning with it. Lena attempted to gather herself as she stood back up and flushed the toilet, she felt gross and groggy and really just wanted to go sleep for a month straight.

 

“I’m sorry about that, I guess I’m just a little run down.” she told Kara as she gratefully accepted the glass of cold water from her, rinsing her mouth out before quickly brushing her teeth.

 

“Oh gosh no don’t apologize, maybe you should take the day off tomorrow and let yourself rest.” Kara suggested as the two of them headed back through to Lena’s bedroom.

 

Normally she wouldn’t even let Kara finish that sentence before shooting down the idea of Lena taking any time whatsoever off from work, but the exhaustion pressing heavily against her eyelids actually made Lena consider the idea for once. She settled on a quick ‘maybe’ before tucking herself back into bed and curling up with Kara, quickly falling back asleep in the comfort of her arms.

 

* * *

 

Lena was back at work and still fighting off the exhaustion and sickness that seemed to follow her around like a dark cloud a few days later when a knock on the door startled her out of her work bubble and she called for whoever it was to come in.

 

“Alex, why are you here? Is everything alright?!” Lena promptly pushed her chair back and stood up from behind her desk immediately as the eldest Danvers sister stepped into her office dressed in her work clothes with an almost unreadable expression on her face. “Did something happen with Kara?”

 

“Don’t worry about her, she’s fine.” Alex assured Lena kindly, breaking her agent persona for a second so that Lena knew she was being sincere. “I’m sorry I know you’re probably really busy with everything but we need you to come into the DEO for a little bit, it shouldn’t take too long but I promised that you would be there within the hour if they let me come get you instead of sending one of the other stuck up asses.”

 

“Why do they need me? I haven’t done anything wrong, unless Supergirl has decided that I’m plotting against her or something, not like it would be the first time.” Lena muttered at the end, although judging by the way Alex winced ever so slightly the woman heard her anyway.

 

“It’s nothing like that it’s.. Honestly, I can’t tell you much right now, let me bring you to the DEO and I’ll explain everything there, I promise.” Alex almost begged. Lena had no clue what was going on, and she was a little hesitant to return to the DEO just in case she bumped into Supergirl, but Alex was asking her and she didn’t want to disappoint one of her friends.

 

“Okay, just give me a quick second to finish up this report and then I’ll come with you.” Lena relented as her fingers began rapidly flying over the keyboard, finishing up the last little section of the report that she had been working on before closing her laptop over and following Alex out of her office.

 

When they arrived at the DEO there was thankfully no Supergirl in sight and Lena felt herself relax a little, perhaps she wouldn’t have to deal with her at all today and the thought comforted her a little, although if the reason that she was currently here in the DEO didn’t have anything to do with Supergirl, then why on earth did they drag her out of her office in the middle of the afternoon and insist that she be brought it?

 

Her thoughts were cut off when they led her up into the med bay and she spotted a familiar head of blonde hair pacing in the corner.

 

“Kara?!” she exclaimed as her eyes fell on the reporter. “W- What are you doing here? You know about this place? They really just let you inside?”

 

“Oh.. I-.. Uh..” Kara began to stutter before she was cut off by Alex.

 

“We asked her to come in for you, what we’re about to tell you isn’t going to be easy and I figured having someone that you’re comfortable being around might help you deal with it all.” Alex told her softly.

 

Kara looked extremely distressed about something, she was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth and repeatedly fidgeting with her glasses as she paced around behind Lena. Although when Alex stopped talking she immediately made her way over and forced what Lena assumed was supposed to be her best attempt at a reassuring smile. Lena hadn’t really been worried until that moment, but seeing Kara so worked up and trying to hide it, it unsettled her.

 

“Can one of you please just tell me what’s going on? You’re starting to scare me a little.” she admitted as her eyes flicked back and forth between the two women currently standing in front of her.

 

“Before we do anything, I need to take some blood.” Alex told her as she pulled out a kit from one of the cabinets and gestured for Lena to sit down on one of the beds. “I know you want answers, and I promise you that we’ll give them to you, but for now I just really need you to trust me. _Please _."__ Lena was almost taken aback by the tone of her voice, she sounded desperate and it made the panicked feeling in her gut grow exponentially.

 

“I-.. Okay.” she hesitantly agreed, taking a seat down on one of the beds and holding an arm out for Alex.

 

Kara immediately took a seat next to her and Lena reached out for her hand, finding comfort in the small gesture as Alex poked and prodded at her arm with the needle. It barely took a few minutes and after the blood was taken Alex thanked Lena and promised to return soon with answers before making her way down the hall and turning out of sight.

 

“What the hell is going on? She’s really starting to freak me out.” Lena admitted to Kara as the two of them sat on the edge of the bed in the med bay. “Am I dying or something? Is that what she’s afraid to tell me? Did Reign somehow infect me with a weird alien virus.. Oh my god! She did, didn’t she!? That’s why I’ve been so sick and exhausted lately! Oh shit, am I going to be okay? How bad is it?”

  
”Lena.” Kara cut off her rambling with a gentle squeeze to her hand. “It’s not that, please let’s just wait until Alex comes back, alright?” Kara’s eyes desperately pleaded with her.

 

Lena was about to argue back, to demand that Kara tell her whatever it was that she knew, but thankfully Alex reappeared and Lena knew that she was about to get answers anyway. She could feel the panic bubbling up in her chest and a million different yet equally horrible thoughts were running through her mind as Alex and Kara made eye contact, she could sense the silent conversation that they was going on between the two of them, and from the way Kara desperately tried to keep her face resembling something calm as she blindly reached out for Lena’s hand, she knew that whatever she was about to hear was going to be bad.

 

“Okay, so..” Alex began as she walked over and stood in front of the two of them. “I didn’t want to say anything until we knew for sure, I didn’t want to worry you for no reason but do you remember when Edge poisoned you last month?” she asked as Lena nodded slowly in reply, trying to work out where the conversation was headed as Kara gently ran the pad of her thumb back and forth across the top of Lena’s hand. “Well, we were all in a complete panic trying to stabilize you and I think that at some point along the way you were injected with alien DNA that-.. Well it sort of-.. The thing is that-..”

 

“Spit it out, Alex.” Lena told her sternly, although her voice wavered a little.

 

“You’re pregnant.” Alex told her.

 

“Yeah, okay.” Lena huffed a laugh as she playfully rolled her eyes, feeling a little of the tension ebb away for a few moments before returning her gaze to Alex. “What’s actually wrong? Am I dying? Or turning into an alien? What’s going on?”

 

“No, Lena, I’m serious.” Alex insisted. “You’re pregnant.”

 

“I-.. No I’m not.” Lena brushed it off. “You’re lying, Kara tell me she’s lying? I’ve never had sex with a man, not even once in my entire life. You guys are just messing with me, aren’t you?”

 

“I wish we were.” Alex’s eyes pleaded with Lena, desperately trying to get her to believe what was happening. “You’ve been sick, and exhausted, and I guarantee that if you check your calendar your period will be late. I’m sorry Lena, I’m __so__  sorry. It was just so crazy when they rushed you in here, and I have no idea which one of us did this to you but it could have been any of us which means there’s a chance it was me and I really just need you to know how extremely sorry I am.”

 

Kara remained silent through all of it, simply holding on to Lena’s hand and occasionally stroking her thumb back and forth across the top of it, providing an anchor for Lena to hold on to as she tried to process what was happening. It made no sense, surely this couldn’t be real. Lena prayed that any moment now the two of the would burst out laughing and she would be so relieved that she wouldn’t even be pissed off at them, but as the seconds ticked by she realized that it wasn’t happening. It wasn’t a joke, she was.. She was pregnant?

 

It didn’t sound right, it felt wrong and like it wasn’t actually happening to her. She felt as though someone else was telling her their story, or she was watching herself from the corner of the room. Her thoughts were buzzing around so quickly in her mind that it was bordering on painful, and it only worsened as she realized that it actually made sense. She had been nauseous and exhausted for the past week or so, not that pregnancy being the culprit had ever crossed her mind at any point at all, but it did make sense. Her period was late, but again she had just put it down to the stress of the last few months, never did she imagine it was being there was a tiny little human growing inside of her. _Oh fuck, there was a tiny little human growing inside of her._

 

“I-.. I-.. I don’t know what to say.” she croaked, voice thick with emotion as she stared blankly at the wall. “Who.. I mean.. You said it was alien DNA? What does that mean? Is my kid like half fish or something? Which species was it?”

 

Lena felt as though the entire building had just crumpled down on top of her as she watched and listened to Alex’s next sentence as it left her mouth. Lena was rooted to the spot, unable to move or breathe or do absolutely anything other than allow the panic to overcome her pull her deep into the depths of despair as she attempted to process what she was hearing.

 

“It was Supergirl.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont love this at all but im not gonna dwell on it too much pls try to enjoy xxx

 

 

Lena swallowed roughly against the bile rising in her throat as she allowed Alex’s words to sink in. Supergirl. It was Supergirl’s DNA. She was currently pregnant with Supergirl’s baby. She still felt as though she couldn’t breathe, and she was extremely thankful in that moment that they had thought of bringing Kara along for support. It was her voice, soft and reassuring, that eventually guided Lena out of her panicked state and brought her mind back into the room.

 

“There you are.” Kara told her softly. “You’re fine, you’re alright, just keep breathing.”

 

Lena nodded as she listened to what Kara was saying, taking a few more minutes to fully calm herself before she felt ready to continue on with the discussion. She still felt beyond overwhelmed, and the whole thing still didn’t feel real, but she knew that it was slowly beginning to sink in as she turned to Alex once again, clutching at every last shred of her Luthor genes that would allow her to pull herself together if only for the time being, she could fall apart later behind closed doors, but for now she had questions that she needed answers to and she couldn’t get them if she broke down.

 

“What does this all mean? Is this even safe? Surely if I have a baby with super strength inside me it’s going to tear me apart like something out of Twilight.” Lena attempted to lighten the mood with a joke, but the tone of her voice betrayed the real, almost crippling fear that she was currently feeling.

 

“We were working alongside Supergirl to gather information about Kryptonian reproduction and how it all works to see if we could recreate or apply whatever we found out on humans. The intention was to fight off diseases, or use it to help us in the fight to cure cancer and things like that, but we didn’t get that far. The embryos were injected with a chemical very similar to those found within Krypton’s red sun, seeing as how they were being prepped for human use, which means that while they’re still technically Kryptonian, they’re also completely human, no superpowers or anything like that. Which means that should you decide to move forward with all of this, we’ll need to check in occasionally but a normal OB GYN will be perfectly fine for your regular checkups and such, and the DEO will cover any and all medical expenses.”

 

“You think..” Lena trailed off, voice thick with venom as she attempted to reel herself in before she snapped and said something that she would regret later on. “You think I give a fucking goddamn _shit_  about the medical expenses?!” she exclaimed as she jumped down from the bed and stood up. “I’m not some fucking science experiment, and now I’m carrying a kid that’s half Luthor, half Super?! What kind of sick fucked up joke is this! Is Supergirl gonna watch their every move? Wait for them to attack her? Or is she gonna try and have them taken away from me, poor little baby Super can’t be raised by an evil Luthor! God! What the _fuck!? _”__

 

“Lena, hey, calm down, please calm down!” Kara begged as she jumped down from the bed and stood in front of Lena. She was vaguely aware of the fact that Kara was crying, tears freely running down her face, but her mind wasn’t able to focus on anything other than the fact that she had to get out of the DEO. She had go to, she needed time to think and get her bearings and she couldn’t do that here. Not when the walls felt as though they were closing in on her and she could run into Supergirl at any given moment.

 

“Does she know?” Lena asked, slightly out of breath from the adrenaline rush of the whole thing as she turned to away from Kara and directed the question at Alex.

 

“Does who know what?” Alex asked tentatively.

 

“ _Supergirl.”_ Lena snapped. “Does she know about.. All of this?”

 

“I-.. Yes. She knows.” Alex nodded in confirmation, and that was all the information that Lena needed to get before leaving.

 

“I can’t do this right now, I need to go.. I- I need some time to think.” Lena told Alex, completely unaware of the reporter currently facing away from her attempting to get her silent sobbing under control as she stormed out of the med bay.

 

Lena couldn’t focus the entire way home, she felt nauseous but she couldn’t tell if it was because of everything that she had just found out, or if it was her morning sickness rearing it’s head yet again. She couldn’t even bring herself to go back to the office despite the fact that it was still the middle of the afternoon and she had a bunch of meetings that she was expected to attend, she simply headed straight back to her apartment and locked herself away behind the doors.

 

It was barely a half an hour later when a knock on her apartment door drew Lena’s focus away from the wall that she had been blankly staring at since she had arrived home, and she only knew of one person that the front desk would allow up before clearing it with her first.

 

“Hey, how are you doing?” Kara asked softly as Lena unlocked the door and swung it open, gesturing for her to come inside.

 

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Lena admitted as she made her way back over to the couch and settled down beside Kara, tucking her feet beneath her and gratefully allowing herself to be wrapped up in the comforting arms currently being offered to her. “I don’t know what to do, Kara.”

 

“You do whatever you want to do.” Kara squeezed her a little tighter and Lena could feel the tears begin to sting behind her eyes, wanting to be set free. “I love you, and I’ll be right here by your side to support you with whatever choice that you decide to make. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“How am I supposed to raise a kid, Kara? It’s not like I have my own mother to help me out, my family is hardly a good example or something that I should aspire to be.” Lena was freely crying as Kara held on to her now. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, I was supposed to fall in love and have kids with someone who loves me right back, or at the very least someone who actually _likes_ me! Oh God, I’m going to have to talk to her about this at some point aren’t I? God, this is so unfair, it’s so unfair Kara! It just.. It’s going to ruin _everything!”_

__

“Lena you’re the strongest woman I know.” Kara squeezed her a little tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of Lena’s head before continuing. “You can get through anything, I know that you can. This won’t ruin you, it might test you but I know that you’ll get through it.”

 

“It’s not methat I’m worried about ruining, Kara.” Lena told her slowly as she lifted her head from it’s spot on Kara’s shoulder. “It’s.. I’m worried about it ruining _us._ I know.. I know that we haven’t ever spoken about this, but I don’t think my feelings are one sided. If they are then I guess I just ruined this all on my own, but.. I love you, and I know that you already know that, but I really do. You’re the one person in this world who makes me feel like a good person, I like myself better when I’m with you, and now it’s all about to come crashing down and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you, even if you don’t feel the same and you still want to be friends. It’s just so overwhelming and I have no idea what’s going on, and now there’s this whole pregnancy thing and it’s just too much information to try and process all at once.”

 

“I-.. I-.. I-..” Kara stuttered as she took a few moments to process what Lena had just told her. “I love you too, you know that I do. I love you so much that it frightens me sometimes, and I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you Lena. I need you to look me in the eyes and hear me when I say this.” Kara told her as she gently lifted Lena’s chin up to face her. “I love you, Lena Luthor and I trust you wholeheartedly. You are beautiful and selfless and kind and everything good in this world. Do you hear me?”

 

Lena didn’t reply, if she was being honest she didn’t really know how to reply, so she simply nodded in confirmation and waited silently to see what Kara was going to say next.

 

“Your feelings aren’t one sided, and I know you already knew that but I just wanted to be clear when I said it so that you didn’t have any doubts. I’ve never told you before because I was afraid, I knew that I couldn’t come clean about my feelings without coming clean about everything else, and honestly I was terrified. I’m not sure what happens next, honestly I feel like I’m about to throw up because I know that there’s a chance you might never look at me the same way ever again, but I need you to know that I trust you. I trust you, Lena, always have and always will. I let the fear of kryptonite cloud my judgement and I won’t ever make that mistake again. I trust you with the kryptonite, and I trust you to raise my.. to raise _our_  child should you decide to go through with all of this. I’ll be right here every step of the way. I trust you, Lena Luthor. I trust you with my identity. My name is Kara Zor-El and I am the last daughter of Krypton.”

 

The silence that followed was almost deafening. Lena couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t move or breathe or focus at all. Slowly, all of the images she had in her head of Supergirl and Kara Danvers began to merge together, creating an entirely new person that she knew absolutely nothing about. It felt as though Kara Danvers had just died right in front of her eyes, it felt as though all of her memories with her were suddenly tainted and she had no idea who the hell she was currently looking at. Once she was able to regain some semblance of motion, Lena pulled away from Kara and shifted as far back on the couch as she could go. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and completely unfocused as she continued to let the information sink in. She felt sick, all of those times that Supergirl would snap at her in the lab, only for Kara to come skipping into her apartment all wide eyed and ready for an evening full of snacks and snuggles. God, what kind of person did that?

 

“Lena.. I need you to know that I always trusted you. I did, I truly did. It just didn’t make sense to tell you who I was when we first met, but then we got closer and I always planned on telling you and it seemed to get harder the more the time went by. Then I realized that I was falling in love with you and I knew.. I _knew_  that I couldn’t keep it from you anymore-”

 

“Don’t.” Lena spoke up for the first time in a while, voice thick with tears. “I don’t even know who you are anymore Kara. All those nights we spent locked up in that lab, and the things that you said. How could you just hold me and listen to me pour my heart out to you about how hurt I was, and then just show up the very next day and pretend you hadn’t just woken up and left my bed.”

 

 

“Lena..” Kara begged as she shifted closer on the couch, only for Lena to immediately stand up and cross her arms over her chest. She knew that Kara could see it, the way she was putting her walls up, because as maybe she didn’t know Kara like she thought that she did, but Kara certainly knew her. Kara knew her better than anyone else on this planet, and Lena could feel her heart shattering in her chest.

 

“I need you to leave.” Lena croaked, avoiding eye contact with Kara as she gestured to the door.

 

“Lena pleas-..” Kara began before Lena cut her off.

 

“I said, I need you to leave. Right now.” she repeated herself. “We can talk.. but just not now. I need you to leave and I need time to.. I need time to process all of this and try to wrap my head around it, Kara.”

 

Kara looked completely panicked, and she stood frozen to the spot as Lena waited in silence for her to go. She was fully aware of the fact that both of them must look a complete mess, sobbing freely with red puffy eyes as they each desperately tried to hang on to what little composure they had left.

 

“You know what.. If you won’t leave then I will.” Lena spat in Kara’s direction, making her way to the door before opening it and slamming it shut behind her. It wasn’t like Kara would need the key or anything to get out, she could just take the window or the balcony.

 

Lena didn’t stick around long enough to see if Kara was going to come after her, she simply headed towards her car as fast as she could, climbing inside when she eventually arrived and pulled out of her parking space. Kara was always her go to when she felt like this, like the walls were caving in and she had no idea what to do about it, but Kara wasn’t an option right now, so Lena simply floored it all way way out of the city and made her way onto the freeway. She knew where she was headed, but she had absolutely no idea how to get there. All she knew is that she had to get as far away from National City as she could, as far away from Kara Danvers and Supergirl as she could, although Lena quickly became aware of the fact that while she could leave the city, she still had a baby that was half Supergirl.. a baby that was half _Kara.._ growing away inside of her.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so glad you all seem to be enjoying this as much as i'm loving writing it lol, thank u all so much for the comments/ kudos etc it really really inspires me to keep writing

 

 

“Lena? What are you doing here so late? Are you alright? Oh god, what happened to you?!”

 

Lena imagined she must be in some state by now, she hadn’t really quit crying for the duration of the drive and her face was stinging from constantly wiping at her eyes, so she guessed that it must be extremely red by now. Her hair was disheveled from her repeatedly running her fingers through it, a bad habit that she had picked up in her early teen years, and she was shaking ever so slightly, although she couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or her current situation.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go.” Lena admitted quietly as she shuffled from side to side on her feet.

 

“You don’t have to apologize, come here.” Sam stepped aside, allowing Lena to come into the house before she was pulled in for a tight hug. “Whatever it is, I’m here okay? I’ve got you.” Sam assured her as she ran a hand up and down Lena’s back a few times, holding onto her until Lena pulled away. “Ruby is staying with a friend tonight, I was gonna order a pizza and watch a movie or something. You’re more than welcome to join.” Sam told her as she led Lena through the house towards the large kitchen in the back. “Do you want anything to eat or drink? Is this more of a coffee or a scotch situation? I don’t think I have any scotch but I can run out and grab some.”

 

“I’m pregnant.” Lena blurted out. She didn’t have enough mental or physical energy left inside of her to ease Sam into the whole thing, she just wanted to get it all out in the open so that she wouldn’t be carrying the burden all on her own, something that she never would have even considered before meeting Kara. Lena would have __always__ kept it locked away inside of herself, but Kara had helped her learn to open up, and now she relied on it. She felt as though she would burst open if she tried to keep it all inside.

 

“You.. You’re pregnant?” Sam stopped shuffling around the kitchen and turned to face Lena immediately. “You-.. W- What? How?”

 

“Some freak accident at the DEO.” Lena laughed, although there was no hint of humor behind it at all, the laugh was cold and cruel and lacked any of Lena’s usual warmth. “They injected me with Supergirl’s DNA and now I’m pregnant with a kid that’s half me, half her.”

 

Lena debated telling Sam arguably the most important detail of the whole story, that National City’s caped hero and Lena’s favorite person in the whole entire world were one in the same, but she had come to the conclusion earlier in the day that it wasn’t her secret to tell. She loved Sam, and of course she trusted her, but she didn’t think that it was her place to go around spreading Kara’s identity. Don’t get her wrong, for the first few hours of the drive she was dead set on doing it, but as she calmed down a little and the panicked, angry haze in her brain began to clear she decided that it wasn’t her place. She would tell Sam what she could, and go from there.

 

“How long have you known?” Sam asked gently, although Lena could see the way she was trying to keep her cool, trying not to freak out for Lena’s sake.

 

“I found out this afternoon.” Lena told her with a slow exhale. “Alex pulled me out of my office and asked me to come into the DEO so that they could run some tests, she said that they didn’t want to worry me in case it was nothing, but low and behold.” Lena gestured down to herself.

 

“Wow.. Okay, so no wonder you’re so worked up.” Sam breathed as she rounded the counter to pull Lena in for another hug. “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want, and you know that I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

 

“I just have no idea what to do.” Lena admitted into Sam’s shoulder as she hugged her back. “I’m sorry to interrupt your evening, I just couldn’t think of anyone else that I could talk to about something like this, and I know it’s not the same but Ruby wasn’t planned and everything seems to have worked out for you so I guess I just thought I would see what your thoughts about the whole thing were.”

 

“Come on, let’s go sit down.” Sam pulled away from the hug, grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge before passing one over to Lena and guiding her through to the living room.

 

The two of them sat side by side, although Lena couldn’t help but notice the difference between Sam and Kara. Sam was a friend, she comforted like a friend, whereas Kara had always been a little more. The way she held Lena, the soft kisses pressed to her head, they never exactly screamed _friendship_ and now Lena’s heart was aching even more.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Sam asked tentatively as Lena fidgeted with a loose thread on the sleeve of her shirt. She barely looked up when Sam spoke, simply nodding her consent before shifting her attention back down to her lap to continue playing with the thread. “Is the whole pregnancy thing the only reason that you’re upset, or is there something else too? I only ask because.. Well, I know you Lena and I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to be upset because you have every right, I’ve just never known Lena Luthor to drop everything and drive to whole other state. I know how distraught I was when I first found out, so I get it, I truly do, but you seem to be.. I don’t know.. Just.. You seem _really_ upset. I-.. Is it Kara?”

 

That got Lena’s attention, her eyes quickly darted up to face Sam, and she took a little time to study her face as her own chest clenched almost painfully at the mention of Kara. It took her a few long moments to put it together, the expression on Sam’s face desperately trying to appear casual despite the visible strain in her muscles.

 

“You know, don’t you.” Lena stated in her direction more than asked her the question. “You know about Kara.”

 

“I-.. I had my suspicions.. but when you told me what just happened I guessed from the look on your face that she had just told you, and now I’m one hundred percent sure that I know.” Sam told her softly as Lena began to cry once again. “Oh Lena, come here.” she shifted a little closer, allowing herself to be wrapped up by Sam.

 

“E- Everything is just s- so messed up!” Lena hiccuped into Sam’s shoulder. “I feel like my w-whole world has just come c- crashing down on top of me and I- I don’t know what do d- do to fix it.”

 

“You’ll be alright Lena, you will be. You’re going to be just fine, I promise. I promise.” Sam assured her as Lena continued to cry. “Things are really raw right now, you were just slapped in the face with two major truths and it’s going to take a while for it all to sink in, but you _will_ get through it. I promise you that much.”

 

Sam let Lena cry until she had no more tears left in her body, holding onto her for a little while longer until she had fully settled down before slowly beginning to pull away. Lena felt exhausted, she was mentally and physically drained and the weight of the day was pressing heavily on her whole body.

 

“When was the last time that you had anything to eat?” Sam asked with a kind look in her eyes, Lena felt stupid being pitied but she was too exhausted to care about anything else other than sleep right now.

 

“I-.. Uh.. I’m not sure.” she admitted as she lightly rubbed at her eyes.

 

“If you can’t remember then it’s already been too long.” Sam told her before hopping up from the couch. “You need to eat something before you sleep, do you want me to order some takeout? Or would you prefer something small. We have cereal, or I could make you some toast?” she offered. “Whatever you want.”

 

“I’ll have a slice of toast if you don’t mind.” Lena replied, she hadn’t realized just how hungry she was until Sam had brought it up, and she knew that she really ought to be eating better for the baby’s sake. Oh. _Oh._

 

Well, that was new. Why would she want to start eating better for a baby that she wasn’t even sure that she was going to have? Lena knew the answer, had known it since she had found out back in the DEO, but she couldn’t bring herself to focus on it right now. She needed to eat, and then she needed to get some sleep. She could think about everything tomorrow after she had slept on the whole thing and allowed herself some time to heal.

 

Lena ate her toast silently, although Sam didn’t seem to mind. She was beyond thankful to have Sam in her life, Lena wasn’t sure what on earth she would have done had it not been for her this evening. Not only did Sam somewhat relate to her situation, she was also a friend to Lena. Not someone with ulterior motives trying to get close enough to her so that they could turn around and kill her, not someone who just saw her as yet another Luthor. No, Sam was a friend, and Lena really needed a friend right now.

 

It wasn’t too long after Lena had eaten that Sam offered her some pajamas and helped her into bed. While it was nice to have someone else there with her at night, Lena found that it only added to the painful ache in her chest. She wished that she had Kara laying there beside her, she wished that she could fall asleep in her arms like she had done so many times before, but then she got angry at herself for wishing that, and in turn it made her even angrier at Kara for everything that had happened between them.

 

Despite how exhausted she felt, Lena didn’t sleep very well that night at all. She tossed and turned for hours, although she was extra careful not to disturb Sam. She didn’t want to inconvenience her friend more than she already had. Despite trying her very best, Lena just couldn’t get her brain to shut off. There were so many different thoughts running through her mind, and it wasn’t until the sun began to rise and the room lightened ever so slightly that she realized that her body really needed some rest, if not for herself then for the baby.

 

Lena only managed to get a few hours of proper sleep in before the now somewhat familiar roiling of her stomach woke her up and she dove out of the bed, rushing out of Sam’s room and down the hall to where she remembered the bathroom being the previous evening. She tried to be as quiet as she could, but it wasn’t exactly an easy task and Sam was awake within a few minutes.

 

Lena had fully expected her to come straight into the bathroom and try to comfort her, and it wasn’t like she didn’t love Sam and fully appreciate everything that she had done for her, but she really just wanted a few moments alone. Thankfully, Lena listened as Sam headed straight downstairs and began pottering around the kitchen. When Lena was sure that she was done throwing up, she flushed the toilet and headed over to the mirror to clean herself up a little.

 

The sight that met her almost made her gasp out loud, she looked completely _awful._ Her outward appearance perfectly mirrored how she was feeling on the inside, exhausted, drained and more than a little upset. Her eyes were still puffy and red, and now she had bags to go along with it thanks to the lack of sleep. She really just wanted to go back to bed, wrap herself up and not come out until all of her problems resolved themselves but Lena knew that unfortunately that wasn’t a realistic plan.

 

After grabbing a quick shower and putting on her clothes from yesterday, Lena headed downstairs into the kitchen where Sam was waiting for her with a soft smile.

 

“Hey, how are you feeling today? I made you some peppermint tea, it helped a lot with my morning sickness, and I have some plain foods if you think that you can stomach them, you really should have something to eat if you can.” Sam fussed around her as Lena made her way over to the kitchen table and pulled out a seat, folding her legs up beneath herself as she sat down.

 

“Thank you for all of this Sam, it really means a lot to me.” she told her sincerely before taking a sip of the tea that Sam had made for her. “I’m so sorry for imposing on your evening last night. I didn’t mean to be a burden.”

 

“Oh god no, you don’t have to thank me.” Sam assured her as she pulled out the chair next to Lena and sat down on it herself. “I owe you my life, Lena. Literally. You saved my life, and you are never _ever_ a burden to me. You’re welcome here any time at all, I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night and you just need to clear your head, and I want you to know that you’re welcome to stay here for as long as it takes you to feel strong enough to go back and face everything.”

 

“I hope you know how much this means to me.” Lena told her sincerely, looking up from her cup to make sure that Sam heard what she was saying. “I really don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you here last night, I think I just need a few days, maybe a week to get myself together before I can face anything else. I’ll get a hotel though don’t worry, I don’t want to just barge in on you and Ruby and spend the next week throwing up in your bathroom.” She breathed a barely there laugh, but it was the first time she had been able to since finding out about everything.

 

“Don’t be insane.” Sam immediately brushed her off. “You are not staying at a hotel, no freaking way, you’re gonna stay here with us and we’re gonna take care of you.”

 

* * *

 

After eating a small breakfast and finishing off her tea, Lena had headed back upstairs to get a little more sleep at Sam’s insistence. When she she woke up a few hours later, Ruby had returned home and Lena tried her very best to keep herself together. She didn’t mind letting Sam see her so broken, but she wouldn’t do that to Ruby, not when her life was just starting to finally settle down once again.

 

After the three of them had showered and gotten their pajamas on, Ruby suggested that they watch a movie and both Lena and Sam eagerly agreed. Lena was tucked up on the couch wrapped in a blanket as a movie of Ruby’s choosing began to play on the screen, and she caught the sight of both Sam and Ruby curled up together on the other couch with a bowl of popcorn in between them. It was something so incredibly simple, but it gave Lena just enough of a push to finally admit to herself what she had been trying to avoid for the past day.

 

It certainly hadn’t happened in the way that she would have ever expected it to, and she was completely terrified and had no idea where she went from here. Her whole life felt as though it was falling apart, and maybe this was the wrong decision to make, but Lena could feel in her heart that she wanted to go through with the pregnancy, she wanted the baby. Part of her wished that she didn’t feel that way, that she could just move on, forget about it and have her old life back, but she knew that wasn’t an option, not for her at least.

 

Her heart ached painfully whenever she thought about everything, so she tried to avoid it and focus on the movie instead but Lena quickly found that it was near impossible to stop her thoughts racing around in her mind, especially when her phone lit up with a text from Kara and she felt her breath catch in her throat. Lena could feel her heart rate pick up as she tried to keep her cool, tried not to draw Sam and Ruby’s attention away from the movie as she stood up and whispered that she was going to use the bathroom before rushing upstairs and unlocking her phone with shaky hands and a racing heart. She felt like crying could feel the tears already stinging behind her eyes, but Lena willed herself to calm down and not get all worked up again. She wasn’t sure how much of her feelings were currently her own and how much were a product of the pregnancy hormones, she wasn’t even sure if the hormones would be affecting her mood at this stage. She made a mental note to look it up, she would need an awful lot more information than what she currently had. After taking a few long, slow, deep breaths Lena finally opened up the message from Kara and began to read over it.

 

_Kara: I hope that you’re doing okay. I know you said that you needed some space, and I fully intend on giving it to you so don’t worry. I just needed you to know that there’s no rush on this, I messed up and I take full responsibility for it so I just want to tell you that while it sucks and I already miss you like crazy, I want you to take all the time that you need. I’ll be here whenever you feel ready to talk. Please take care of yourself. - K x_


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

Kara lay staring blankly over at the wall of her bedroom as her body curled up on her bed, arms wrapped tightly around one of her pillows that was currently pressed tight against her chest. She squeezed as hard as she could, but it didn’t do anything to quell the overwhelming ache in her chest that was calling out for Lena. It had barely been an entire day, Lena had ran out on her just yesterday, but it felt like an eternity. Kara wished for nothing more than to have Lena in her arms instead of her stupid pillow, she missed the way that they fit so perfectly together, the way that the faint scent of coconut got stronger whenever she buried her face in Lena’s hair. She missed Lena, but she knew that she had messed up and the least that she could do now would be to give her best friend the space that she needed, regardless of how much it was going to tear Kara up inside.

 

She knew that she had brought this on herself. Kara knew in her heart that Lena maybe would have been a little shocked, but overall she would have accepting of her identity reveal had she told her last year, but she hadn’t. Kara had waited, and then it was too late. The whole kryptonite incident had been the breaking point, the point where she knew that she couldn’t come clean to Lena without causing a storm, a storm that she desperately wanted to avoid. So Kara had lied, and directed her frustration with herself at Lena, and now she had to deal with the consequences of her actions.

 

She didn’t even know where Lena had gone after storming out of her own apartment, Kara had checked in to make sure that she was okay of course, but it was nothing more than sending off a quick text message hoping that she was alright and simply tuning into her heartbeat for a few seconds to make sure that Lena was safe. What Kara hadn’t been expecting was the almost inaudibly quiet second flutter of a heartbeat that she had also heard, and it felt as though she had been plunged into a vat of ice cold water and been held there until she couldn’t breathe.

 

The whole pregnancy thing had _almost_  slipped her mind, and she found herself so overwhelmed with emotions that she couldn’t do anything other than curl up with her pillow and just lay there staring blankly at absolutely nothing. She had lost track of time, Kara had no idea how long she had been laying on her bed but she couldn’t bring herself to move or to do anything other than continue to lay there and think about all of the things that she could have done differently. Each time a different thought popped into her head she felt her heart clench a little and her entire body ached for Lena. She wanted to hold her close and just be there for her. That was the worst thing for Kara, that she couldn’t comfort Lena.

 

Kara knew Lena better than anyone else in the whole entire world, and she knew that Lena’s mind would take her to a dark place where she would begin to question everything. She would question the motives behind their friendship, she would doubt her importance in Kara’s life and she would convince herself that she was just as untrustworthy and unlovable as she had always believed herself to be. All Kara wanted to do was wrap Lena up in her arms and tell her everything that she loved about her on a loop until Lena believed her, she wanted to press soft kisses to her head and convince her that everything was going to be alright and that she would be here for her, regardless of whatever choice that she made, but Kara knew that couldn’t happen. _She_ was the one who had caused Lena’s pain, she couldn’t be the one to swoop in and fix it, not this time.

 

* * *

 

Lena stayed at Sam’s place for another few nights, she had called in sick to work for the first time in her career and spent the days curled up on the sofa trying her best to get some rest between the seemingly unrelenting morning sickness, or rather, _all day_  sickness that she was currently experiencing. She was exhausted both mentally and physically, she felt completely drained of all energy and she really just wanted to stay right where she was, safely tucked away from the hustle and bustle of National City forever, but she knew that she really ought to be getting back to work soon.

 

Sam had been incredible, she had taken care of Lena and been there for whatever she had needed, but Lena couldn’t help but miss Kara. She wished that Kara could be there to take care of her, to hold her and offer her comfort about the whole thing, but then she was reminded that Kara was the reason for her upset and she found herself stuck in a never ending loop of missing Kara and then getting angry at herself for missing her. Lena hadn’t replied to the text message that Kara had sent her a few days before, she had read it repeatedly, but hadn’t replied. Overall she just felt like complete and utter crap, and she had no idea where to go from there.

 

As Sam hugged her goodbye on the morning of her return back home, Lena found that she didn’t want to let go. She didn’t have anyone to go back to, she was going to be all alone, and while that wouldn’t have so much as phased her a few years ago, it was a daunting realization now. She didn’t want to be alone.

 

“You take care of yourself, okay? I’m only a phone call away, and you can come visit whenever you want.” Sam spoke quietly into Lena’s hair. “I love you, and Ruby loves you and we’re so proud of you, alright? We’re so _so_  proud of you. You’re going to be okay babe, I know you will be. You’re strong as hell, and if you ever need anything please don’t hesitate. I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Thank you so much Sam, for all of this.” Lena’s voice cracked a little as she pulled away. “I’m not sure what I would have done without you.”

 

“You’re more than welcome. Don’t forget to text me when you get home to let me know that you got there safely, oh and I’ll email you all of the OB GYN info and contact details for later on. I love you.” Sam pulled Lena in once again and gave her a gentle squeeze.

 

“I love you too.” Lena smiled softly before pulling away once again and making her way over to her car.

 

Sam had packed up a little lunch box with some water, crackers and a few other bits and bobs just in case Lena got hungry or nauseous on the drive back home and she felt extremely grateful for it. The drive felt a lot longer than it had a few days ago, she had been running on adrenaline and everything was all over the place, but now her body had calmed down a little and Lena was left alone with just her thoughts to keep her company and an impossibly long stretch of road that seemed to go on and on forever.

 

The only good thing about the drive back home was that Lena didn’t have to pull over so that she could throw up, her body was taking it surprisingly easy on her and she was extremely grateful for the few hours of relief. The unfamiliar surroundings slowly bled into the skyscrapers and office buildings that she had come to know so well over the last few years in National City, and by the time Lena finally pulled up outside of her apartment building she was actually glad to be home.

 

The small feeling of relief that washed over her as she arrived home was short lived. It lasted until the moment that Lena stepped foot inside her apartment and everything from the last few days hit her all over again. Her chest suddenly felt tight and she was engulfed in a wave of emotions too thick to swim through. Every inch of the penthouse had evidence of Kara, the memories that she held so close to her heart and all of the framed photos of them that hung from the walls, the blanket draped over the back of her sofa that Kara had brought round for movie night almost two years ago and just decided to leave so that she could snuggle up whenever she was at Lena’s place, the tiny little stain on the ceiling from a cooking attempt gone horribly wrong. Kara was everywhere, and Lena felt herself breaking down.

 

She made it as far as the couch before she fell down onto it and curled up to cry. She couldn’t get the whole thing out of her mind, she couldn’t even begin to logically process it, it was all just a mushy mess of hurt and Lena didn’t know what else to do, and so she cried. She allowed herself to completely break down, to let it all out in the hopes that she would be able to think a little more clearly when she had calmed down. Lena cried for what felt like hours, she cried until she completely exhausted herself and eventually passed out with Kara’s soft blanket draped over her.

 

_The comforting back and forth rocking motion of the large padded chair was slowly lulling the baby to sleep as Kara sang softly to both the baby and Lena. The warmth of Kara pressed against her side and the beyond comforting weight of the baby in her arms left Lena’s heart bursting with love and adoration for her two favorite people in the whole entire world. The baby had been fussy and crying on and off for the entirety of the day and Lena was sure that she was about to go insane until Kara arrived home and snuggled up with them, the baby immediately settled when she began singing, and Lena felt herself drifting off as Kara pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head._

_“I love you guys so much.” she whispered softy to her as Lena nuzzled in closer to her chest, careful not to jostle and wake the baby. “This is the best thing that ever happened to me.”_

_Just as Lena was about to reply, to let Kara know how much she loved her and their baby, to tell her that it was also the best thing that ever happened to her, she felt the comforting weight of the baby in her arms disappear and her eyes immediately opened to find that Supergirl was standing before her with the baby cradled in her arms._

_“What are you doing?!” Lena exclaimed as she watched Supergirl turn and make her way over to the window._

_“My child won’t be raised by someone like you. You’re a Luthor, and that’s not a burden that any child should have to carry. You’ll never see us again.” Supergirl snarled before taking off out of the window with the baby still in her arms._

 

It was Lena’s own scream that pulled her out of her sleep, she shot straight up into a sitting position as she fought to regain her breath and control the fear that was currently flowing through her. _It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. You’re alright, it’s okay._  She repeated those words to herself over and over again until she felt herself calm down a little, her hair was matted to her forehead due to how much she had been sweating and she was positive that she was about to throw up.

 

The lack of light outside tipped her off that she had fallen asleep for longer than she had intended to and Lena quickly got up, taking Kara’s blanket with her as she made her way to the bathroom, fell down onto her knees in front of the toilet bow and scooped her hair back in a now well rehearsed routine as she emptied her stomach of what little she had eaten on the drive home. When she was sure that she was done, Lena stripped off and climbed into the shower. The warm water cascaded down her body and for a second Lena allowed herself to just enjoy it without worrying too much about everything else.

 

She stood in the shower beneath the gentle spray for a while, a little longer than she usually would despite her mission to save water, but Lena found that the sensation was comforting in a way that allowed her to ground herself and just focus on the feeling of the water as she breathed deeply. By the time she eventually climbed out and pulled on one of her favorite sleep shirts.. one of _Kara’s_  shirts.. Lena actually felt a lot calmer than she had ever since she was hit with the mess of a hurricane that was the past week.

 

Her brain was still complete mush, and she still felt broken inside, but the tiniest little bit of calm gave her the tiniest little bit of hope that she just maybe she would be able to get through this whole thing in one piece. Tomorrow would be a new day, all she had to do right now was get some rest and allow herself some time to heal.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was a little on the short side i haven't really been in the right mindset to be writing anything for a few weeks and i just wanted to get something posted for u all to get myself back into it pls forgive me xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my new laptop charger finally came omg i'm back folks can i get a yee haw

 

 

The loud buzzing of the alarm on her bedside table was what pulled Lena out of her restless sleep, if you could even call it sleep. She wasn’t sure how much of her exhaustion was pregnancy related and how much of it was due to the emotional drain of the last week finally catching up with her, but she felt as though she hadn’t sleep for weeks and going into work was the very last thing that she felt like doing with her day but she had already had a few days off, and it was a few days too many. She had two companies to run, she couldn’t just dip out whenever she felt like it.

 

The one positive thing about the morning was that Lena was actually woken up by her alarm clock, as much as she detested the sound of it, she had to admit that it was a nice change of pace from the uncomfortable roiling of her stomach causing her to wake up and having to immediately sprint into the bathroom to throw up.

 

She felt like a ghost as she made her way through the apartment, she looked even paler than she usually did and Lena really didn’t appreciate the large dark colored bags under her eyes. She desperately craved a steaming hot cup of coffee, if she tried hard enough she could almost taste it on the tip of her tongue, but despite only having the bare minimum when it came to knowledge about pregnancy, she knew that she wasn’t supposed to drink caffeine and decaf just wasn’t the same.

 

She opted instead for a bottle of cold water from the fridge, praying that it would wake her up even just a little bit more than her current state, and then headed back into her room to get herself ready for the day. There was something undeniably comfortable about the routine, it made Lena feel normal, and despite how much she had been dreading having to face her life after returning from Sam’s, she was actually glad that she had forced herself to do it. Even just putting on her work clothes made her feel a little better, she opted for something more on the comfortable side, but after wearing pajamas for the last week anything else felt significantly dressier.

 

Lena could slowly feel herself coming back as she pulled her hair up into a tight high ponytail and stepped into her favorite shiny black Louboutins. She still looked exhausted, but she felt a little better on the inside and that was what mattered most to her. She finally felt some semblance of normalcy and it gave her the little push that she had needed to gather her things and step out of the safety of her apartment.

 

Lena tried her best not to get herself worked up about the possibility of maybe running into Kara while she was at Catco. She didn’t want to think about anything else other than work, all of her other stuff could wait until the end of the day, but it was growing harder and harder as her car approached the building.

 

Lena could feel the slight shake in her hands and it felt as though all eyes were on her as she walked through the entrance and into Catco. She knew in the back of her mind that it most likely was just the stress going on in her own head that was making her so anxious, she had only been gone for a few days, but it felt as though everyone in the building knew what had been going on in her life in her absence. She found herself wondering if they could tell just from looking at her if she was having a rough time, or if they could tell that she was currently expecting. It made Lena pick up the pace a little.

 

When she finally approached the large elevator doors Lena was beyond relieved to find it completely empty inside. She could always have taken her own private elevator at the other side of the hall, but the doors opened up right in the center of the office and she wasn’t prepared to have all eyes on her when Kara’s were more than likely going to be among them. Instead, Lena slipped quickly inside the regular elevator and pressed the button for the top floor, settling against one of the railings for a few moments to calm her breathing and focus on her schedule for the day.

 

The ride up passed by a lot quicker than she would have liked, and before she knew it Lena was stepping out onto the office floor for the first time since before everything had come crashing down around her. It was weirdly comforting to see that nothing appeared to have changed when it came to work, the soft rumbling of people’s voices and phones ringing in the distance paired with people rushing around desperately trying to meet deadlines and organizing things came with a strange sense of normalcy and Lena could feel herself relaxing ever so slightly at the familiarity of it all.

 

Just as Lena was about to step foot in the bullpen, a timid looking assistant bustled past her with a white paper bag of what Lena assumed must be pastries of some sort and a tray of large steaming hot coffees. In the split second it took for Lena to register the smell, she immediately knew what was about to happen and she felt the panic rise up as she clamped a hand over her mouth and took off down the hall, desperate to get to the nearest bathroom before she brought up what the poor excuse of a breakfast that she had weakly tried to force down earlier that morning.

 

After throwing up Lena took a few moments to collect herself, popping a few mints into her mouth and touching up the light pink lipstick that had smudged when she had wiped her face.The reflection looking back at her had somehow grown even more exhausted in the hour since she had left her apartment, the bags under her eyes seemed to have intensified and Lena felt just about as good as she looked. Maybe being back at work wasn’t going to be as normal as she had hoped it would be after all.

 

Much to her relief, Lena managed to make it through all the way to lunch and even a little while afterwards without seeing Kara at all. She knew that she was at work today, she had heard bits and bobs from some of the other employees about what she was working on, but so far Lena had been successful in avoiding any potentially heated conversations in the workplace. She had spent most of her day in her office, safely tucked away in the privacy of her own space and trying her very best to get some work done despite the faint queasy feeling that had been following her around for the last week or so.

 

Lena had decided to forgo getting anything to eat for lunch knowing that she had a big meeting at the end of the day in which most of the office, including Kara, would be attending that she didn’t want to risk vomiting or having to run out in the middle of, so she had simply thrown herself into her neglected workload and not looked up again until hours later when it was finally time for the meeting to begin. The only thing that motivated her enough to step outside the safe secluded office was the knowledge that she could go home as soon as the meeting was over and done with, and the growing headache in the base of her skull was extremely thankful.

 

Everyone was already seated around the large conference table when Lena stepped into the room with her notes clutched tightly in hand. She trained her eyes to look straight ahead as she walked up to the center and began to get settled, desperately trying to ignore the fact that she could feel Kara’s gaze burning into her despite the fact that she was doing her very best to avoid looking in her direction at all. The room felt overwhelmingly stuffy all of a sudden and Lena considered going over to open up one of the windows to let some cool air but she didn’t want to drag the meeting on for any longer than it had to go on for.

 

After a quick introduction and an apology for being gone the previous week, Lena began to get into the details of the meeting. She stood by the large projector and pointed out what she needed to, watching proudly as everyone took notes and seemed genuinely interested in what she was talking about. It wasn’t until around the halfway mark that Lena felt her vision blur ever so slightly around the edges and she stopped mid sentence to gather herself. She still felt overly warm and her headache felt magnified now.

 

“M- Miss Luthor? Are you alright?” One of the members of the photo team sitting closest to where Lena was standing asked as she attempted to blink away the spots on her vision.

 

“I-.. Uh.. I-.. I’m..” Lena slurred as she began to feel the walls move around her. It felt as though the whole room was shifting beneath her feet and she wondered how on earth everyone else was still as stable as they were while it was moving as abruptly as it was.

 

Lena found that she didn’t have much time to process anything else as the ceiling began quickly coming into view, the last thing that she registered was the overwhelming dizzying feeling in her head and that suddenly she was falling. She braced herself for impact as best she could in her current state, waiting to hit the floor and feel the wind be painfully knocked out of her, but it didn’t come. Instead, she felt a familiar warmth surround her that smelled strongly of safety and home and everything good in the world, and Lena found herself nuzzling in closer to blissful feeling as she allowed the darkness to overcome her.

 

“Don’t just stand there! Call an ambulance! Now!” Kara screamed out at the room of men watching her silently as Lena lay passed out in her arms.

 

It took everything inside of Kara to not just shoot off into the air and take Lena to the hospital herself but she could still hear her breathing and, while it was a little slower than usual, her heart and the baby’s were beating away so she knew that she shouldn’t risk exposing herself to the entire building if it wasn’t necessary. Still, Kara tried her best to empty out the room a little so that she could take Lena herself if she had to, but the more she yelled at people to go out and get help, the more people came and began to fill the room.

 

Thankfully the ambulance crew arrived within a few minutes and Kara gently assisted them in propping a still unconscious Lena up onto the stretcher before they made for the elevator. Everyone’s eyes were on them as they made their way down to the ground floor and then out to the ambulance, and Kara quickly realized that this is where her part of the journey was supposed to end, but she didn’t want Lena to go on her own.

 

After a few seconds of internally fighting back and forth with herself, Kara concluded that she would give Lena the space that she had asked for, she wouldn’t force herself into her life regardless of how badly she wanted to hold her and assure her that everything was going to be alright. No, she decided that she would simply follow behind Lena’s ambulance in her own car and wait in the hospital waiting room until she heard that Lena was okay.

 

At least, that had been the plan until she made to pull away from Lena so that they could lift her up into the ambulance and a weak hand had gripped onto the sleeve of her cardigan in an attempt to pull her back. Kara immediately looked down and was met with terrified green eyes staring back at her, wordlessly pleading not to leave her alone. Lena was awake, although Kara wasn’t sure how much of her surroundings that she was truly aware of. She kept slipping in and out of consciousness, but the moment she grabbed onto Kara, Kara had absolutely no intention of leaving her.

 

She scrambled into the back of the ambulance, never once letting go of Lena’s hand held gently in her own. She whispered soft reassurances to her that she would be okay, that everything was fine as they took off in the direction of the hospital in the middle of the city.

 

“Oh, uh, she- she’s pregnant.” Kara shakily told the paramedics that were seeing to Lena. She figured that it was important information for them to have.

 

When they arrived at the hospital Kara was beyond relieved to find out that she was able to stay by Lena’s side while they did a few tests on her. She watched as they drew some blood from her arm, attached a few different monitors to different places and placed a little oxygen mask over her mouth. They assured Kara that it was just a precaution, that Lena was currently breathing just fine on her own and that there was no real cause for concern.

 

Kara spent a few hours by Lena’s side, she was still almost completely out of it but it was nice to be able to be with her regardless of the situation. Whenever Lena began to groan uncomfortably or let out little pained sounds, Kara would be right by her side immediately and she found that it almost instantly brought Lena a sense of calm. She would hold her close and whisper reassurances to her until she fully passed out again.

 

When Lena finally woke up it took her a few long moments to take in her surroundings. She guessed that she had been taken to the hospital, if the bed and monitors next to her were anything to go on, and the memories of the floor at work spinning suddenly came rushing back. It was pitch black outside, she could see the streetlamps lit up along the paths but judging by the lack of traffic and people rushing around, Lena assumed that it must be late night or extremely early morning.

 

“There you are.” a friendly looking nurse smiled as she approached Lena’s bed. “You’ve been out for a good few hours, but everything is fine with both you and the baby.”

 

Lena almost felt her heart stop as she listened to the nurse. She hadn’t even taken into account the fact that whatever reason she had ended up in here might have affected the baby, and now she felt guilty.

 

“What happened?” she asked quietly.

 

“Exhaustion.” the nurse told her kindly, although Lena could see the slight admonishment in her face. “You were dehydrated and I’m guessing you haven’t eaten very much today.” she took Lena’s silence as an admission of guilt before continuing. “These things catch up to you pretty quickly when you’re expecting. You can’t have two people to provide for and not even consume enough for one. You’ll be free to go in the morning, but for now I just want you to get some rest and start taking care of yourself and your little one.”

 

“Okay, thank you.” Lena nodded with a small smile, the guilt suddenly doubling in intensity.

 

“Oh, and your wife asked me to let you know that she’s really sorry that she had to leave.” the nurse added as she made her way out of the room. “I guess she’ll be back as soon as she can, she seemed in a little bit of a rush to get out of here.”

 

 _Her wife?_ Lena had no idea what the nurse meant, she figured that she must have simply confused Lena with another patient. Instead of over thinking the whole thing and letting the guilt eat away at her like she knew was inevitably coming, Lena simply rolled over onto her side and took the nurses’ advice. She pulled the slightly scratchy covers up to her chin and snuggled into the pillow, allowing her eyes to drift closed as she succumbed to sleep once again.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this took so long my problematic ass starts fics without planning anything out first and it doesn't always work in my favor

 

 

The harsh light of the sun shining in through the window and right onto her face was what roused Lena from her surprisingly satisfying sleep the following morning. The first thought that popped into her groggy, sleep-addled brain was that she must have forgotten to close her blinds and curtains over in her room before going to sleep the previous evening, but as she slowly became more aware of herself and her surroundings, Lena’s memories of the night before came back to her and she quickly remembered that she was currently in the hospital.

 

The wave of her memories brought a fresh new intense wave of guilt along with them as she recalled what the nurse had told her when she had woken up in the middle of the night and her reason for being there in the first place. Lena instinctively placed a hand just below her bellybutton over the slightly scratchy hospital sheets as she swallowed roughly against the somewhat overwhelming large lump in her throat and resisted the sudden urge to burst out into tears.

 

What kind of mother was she going to be if she was already letting her child down before they had even been born? The one thing that they needed from her right now hadn’t been provided. Lena felt a familiar but no less overwhelming feeling of hatred for herself rise up like a burning heat in her chest and she was unable to keep the tears at bay any longer as they began freely flowing down her face.

 

“I’m sorry little one. I’m so sorry.” she whispered out into the silence of the room. “I’ll do better, I promise. I’m going to do right by you.”

 

Lena was cut off before she could say anything else, the door to her room opened and one of the nurses walked in carrying a tray of food with a friendly smile on her face. Lena quickly brushed away the tears still on her face and prayed that the nurse wouldn’t notice as she set the tray of food down on the little table in front of her.

 

“We gave you fluids through the IV last night to help with the dehydration, we just need you to eat some breakfast so that we can be sure that you have enough energy to leave before we discharge you.” the woman told her as she shuffled around the room checking the monitors and writing a few notes down on Lena’s chart before setting it back down and turning to fully face her with a gentle sympathetic smile on her face. “Try not to stress to much about all of this, you would be surprised how many expectant moms go through exactly the same, if not very similar situations. It tends to be a wake up call that even though their baby hasn’t arrived yet, life is already changing and you have to be ready to change along with it. It isn’t just a concept anymore, this is real life.”

 

“Yeah.” Lena replied quietly with a barely there nod of acknowledgement. Honestly she didn’t know what else to say and she had to repress the sudden urge to apologize to the nurse, or to anyone, she just wanted to hear verbal confirmation that she was forgiven for what she had done, but Lena knew that she couldn’t get that. She had to forgive herself.

 

“We’ll get you all set up with the OB GYN before you leave today, your first appointment will be organized for you and you can take everything from there. It’s just one step at a time, all you have to do is take care of yourself and the rest can be dealt with in due time.” the nurse finished with a soft smile before heading over to the door and leaving Lena to eat her breakfast alone.

 

She realized with a sudden ache in her heart that this was the first time that she had eaten a proper breakfast made for her by someone else since the last time that Kara had stayed over at her place. Lena felt like a mopey heartbroken teenager being reminded of her ex at every turn despite the fact that Kara technically never was her ex, or at least, she never was her ex _girl_ friend, but she certainly was her _best_  friend.

 

Shaking off the scrambled mess of thoughts and confusion, Lena picked up the little plastic fork that had been provided with her fruit cup and peeled the wrapped back before she began to eat it. The fruit was surprisingly fresh and after making sure that she ate it all, Lena turned her attention to the buttered toast also on the tray and ate a slice of that too.

 

Just as she was about to climb out of her bed and put on her clothes from yesterday, a knock on the door drew Lena’s attention and she decided to stay where she was as the nurse who brought in her breakfast earlier reappeared with Alex Danvers in her wake. The nurse held the door open for Alex to step inside before she stepped back out into the hallway and closed it over with a smile.

 

“Look, before you freak out.” Alex cut Lena off before she could even open her mouth to ask what the hell she wanted with her and why on earth she was in Lena’s hospital room. “I’m just here on official business, the DEO needed me to clarify that you’re alright and that this whole thing has nothing to do with the whole half human half technically alien but also human baby situation. All I need is for you to sign a few papers and I’ll be out of your hair. I promise.”

 

Lena wordlessly listened as Alex uncharacteristically rambled on before she silently gestured for her to bring the papers over to her bed so that she could sign them. There were so many different emotions bubbling up in her chest and she really just wanted them to stop. This was the first time that she had seen Alex ever since she was standing in the DEO finding out that she was pregnant a few short weeks ago, although it felt like an eternity to Lena, and she wasn’t sure how to process all of it. It felt as though her brain had completely tuned out, and she simply went through the motions of signing the papers, so used to doing it for hours and hours on end after a big project at L-Corp or when she was closing an important deal with investors overseas. It barely took a few minutes for her to read over the paper work and sign where she needed to before she was passing it back over to the eldest Danvers sister.

 

“H-..” Alex began before cutting herself off and swallowing harshly. Lena could see that she was going back and forth with whatever she was going to say, and it took a few more seconds before Alex seemingly decided to speak up. “How are you doing? You know.. with everything?” she asked softly, and Lena quickly realized that she was no longer talking to Agent Danvers of the DEO, but instead she was face to face with Alex Danvers, one of her most trusted friends, and she wasn’t sure if it made the whole thing easier or harder to cope with.

 

“Honestly? I don’t think I’m coping very well.” Lena admitted with a humorless laugh as she gestured around at the room, quieting down when she saw the look of regret that Alex was directing at her. “I’ll be fine.. I’ll be okay. I just need some time.” Lena nodded as she spoke, trying her very best to convince not only Alex, but also herself.

 

“Sam let me know where you were when you went off to her place, I didn’t tell Kara but I made sure that she knew you were safe, I’m just so sorry about all of this.” Alex admitted.

 

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, you’re not the one who lied to me about who you were for the entirety of our relationship. You didn’t betray my trust, have one of my friends break into my lab, you didn’t-.. Well you get the point.” Lena trailed off when she started to feel herself getting a little too worked up for someone who was supposed to be taking it easy.

 

“I know, I know and I’m not justifying anything but I need you to know that Kara __knows__  that she screwed up. She really, honestly, truly does and I know that she would take it all back if she could. She adores you Lena, more so than anyone else in the world, and I know it’s breaking her up inside knowing that she caused you this pain.” Alex’s tone turned to one resembling begging, she was pleading for Lena to understand, but Lena didn’t want to listen. “She loves you so much.”

 

“I think that you should go now.” Lena cut her off before Alex had the chance to add anything else in about Kara. “They said it’s important that I make sure to get plenty of rest.”

 

“Of course.” Alex smiled sadly as she made her way over to the door. “We all love you Lena. Take care of yourself, kid. Call me if you need anything.”

 

Lena simply nodded in reply and then watched as Alex left the room, the door closing with a quiet click behind her before Lena allowed a few more tears to fall.

 

* * *

 

Lena’s phone had been buzzing almost non stop since she had arrived home from the hospital and switched it back on for the first time since the day before. Her emails were overflowing with magazines and reporters asking for statements from her about what happened, and the rumor mill only had a few weeks left to live, while another few were almost one hundred percent positive that she’d had a boob job gone wrong and now she was fighting a pretty nasty infection. Thankfully, she hadn’t seen any suspect that she was pregnant and she wanted to keep it that way for as long as she possibly could.

 

Lena spent a few minutes reading through the rest of her emails, finding a little amusement in just how many different stories and scenarios people were coming up with, before she found one that caught her eye. She felt an odd sinking sensation in her chest before she even opened it up, and it only worsened when she did. The headline read: _CEO of companies L-Corp and Catco, Lena Luthor, rushed to hospital after collapsing at work alongside distraught employee and famed Catco reporter Kara Danvers._

__

Lena could feel her heart beating almost painfully in her throat as she scrolled through the photos attached to the article. It was as though a cloudy haze of memories were suddenly unlocked in her mind and she quickly realized that the saddening dream that she’d had the day before, the one where Kara had held her hand and comforted her so completely in her time of need, hadn’t in face been a dream. Lena had felt embarrassed when she had first woken up in the hospital and tried her best to suppress the dream from her mind, she hated that she still craved Kara in her times of need, but actually looking at the photos and having solid evidence that Kara was actually there with her, comforting her, was a whole other story.

 

The look on Kara’s face in all of the different photos was what really startled Lena. Kara looked completely distraught. Her eyes never once left Lena’s face in all of the different images, and her hand was cradled gently in Kara’s as they loaded her up into the ambulance. Lena expected to feel embarrassed about there being photographic evidence of her lack of self care, but all she could focus on was the heartbreaking look on Kara’s face. She looked like Lena felt inside. _Broken._

__

Lena spent a lot longer than she would ever admit to anyone going through the photos. They struck something deep inside of her and she yearned to reach out and take the pain away from Kara, she wanted to hold her until she didn’t look so torn up inside, but then there was the obvious reasons why she wasn’t doing that.

 

Lena knew in that moment that she would have to do some serious thinking, and that she would have to do it soon. She owed it to herself, to the Kara that she once thought that she knew, and to her unborn baby to start making thing right, one step at a time. She was still angry, still completely furious with the whole Supergirl thing, but she wasn’t making any progress right now. In fact, it was putting both herself and the baby at risk.

 

She knew that the guilt that she felt upon waking up in the hospital room wasn’t going to leave her any time soon, it stood as a reminder to start taking this whole thing a lot more seriously. Lena could keep running from it, but it would never get her anywhere and she was determined to give her child a better life than she herself had been given, and that started with taking care of herself and her body.

 

She spent an hour or so researching different foods, drinks and light little exercises that she could be doing to start improving her overall health and well being without having any risks for the baby. After making an overly detailed list about everything that she planned to get from the grocery store the following morning, and then putting her very first OB GYN appointment into her calendar, Lena pulled up her text messages on her phone and took a deep breath as she hovered over Kara’s name.

 

_Thank you for coming with me to the hospital. I really appreciate it. - L_

Lena read over the message, deleting and retyping it a few times before eventually biting the bullet and allowing her thumb to press down on the button that would send it off to Kara. The second the confirmation that her text message had been delivered showed up on the screen, Lena immediately shut her phone off and headed to bed, determined to get herself on a somewhat regular sleep schedule.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't read over it bc that's just who i am as a person so ignore any mistakes pls

 

 

_One year earlier_

__

Lena’s laughter filled the hallway at L-Corp as both she and Kara stepped out of the elevator and made their way down towards the large white double doors that led into her office. Kara’s arms were stacked up with boxes of food so high that only the top of her hair and a little of her forehead was visible from where Lena stood and she found it endlessly amusing, laughing all the way down the hall as she blindly led Kara inside.

 

“I know you’re hungry but did you _really_  need three whole pizzas? I swear your stomach is just one big bottomless pit of never endi-..” Lena trailed off mid sentence, a quiet choking noise only just audible thanks to Kara’s super hearing as whatever words that she was going to say next got caught up in her throat.

 

“Lena?” Kara question worriedly from behind her ridiculously tall stack of pizza boxes, immediately setting them down on the coffee table in front of the couch before turning her full attention to the woman standing in the office in front of her. “What just happened? Are you okay? Is everything alright?”

 

As far as Kara could see, nothing was out of the ordinary with the office other than Lena herself. The large elegant white desk was set up as usual, her laptop closed but resting in front of her chair so that she could easily access it, there was a jug of water sitting on a large silver tray, a bunch of flowers in the corner of the desk, all of her usual paperwork stacked up. The only cause for concern in the office was the CEO herself, who was currently frozen in place, heart racing frighteningly faster than it usually was as she stared in horror at the desk as though it were about to transform into some sort of monster that would attack her.

 

Kara was completely unsure about what to do as she slowly approached her best friend and gently placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder so as not to startle her, but she did anyway. Lena jumped away almost violently at the gentle touch on her shoulder and before Kara could even comprehend what was happening, Lena had sunk down onto the floor and was audibly trying to catch her breath as her heart continued to pound harshly in her chest. Kara recognized it immediately, although she had never seen anything this intense before, it quickly became clear to her that Lena was suffering through a panic attack.

 

“Hey, hey, hey.” Kara rushed out as she immediately crouched down onto the floor and pulled Lena in towards her. “You’re alright, it’s fine, you’re fine, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” she spoke calmly but firmly as she settled fully on the floor, shifting Lena to sit in the V of her legs as she pressed her front to Lena’s back. “Can you feel me breathing? Just focus on that. Nothing else, just that. In and out, that’s it.”

 

It took a few long moments for Lena to actually be able to comprehend what Kara was saying, and a few more to be able to actually do it. When she eventually got her breathing under control and felt herself calm down enough to take control of her own body again, Lena shifted on the floor to face Kara.

 

“I-.. I’m sorry.” she choked out as a few tears streamed down her already wet cheeks.

 

“Hey, no, don’t ever apologize for that. It’s what I’m here for.” Kara assured her as she cradled Lena a little closer to her.

 

“The fl-.. flowers.” Lena hiccuped quietly into Kara’s shoulder. “Every year-.. Every year after my father passed Lex would b- buy me a bunch on the anniversary of his death because they were always his f- favorite. I guess he thinks it’s some sort of sick j- joke.” Lena told her as she gestured to the bunch of flowers sitting on her desk. “I- It’s been eleven years.”

 

Kara could feel the panic rising up in her own chest as she glanced over to where Lena was pointing, but she willed herself to stay calm for Lena’s sake. She wanted to heat vision the flowers and the vase that held them up into oblivion, to get rid of them as fast as possibly she could so that they could no longer upset Lena, but she couldn’t do that in front of her so she simply held onto her best friend and whispered soft reassurances to her until she was able to get up and stand on her own.

 

“Come on, we’re going back to my place.” Kara told her once they were both on their feet once again.

 

“Kara no, I have work do get don-” Lena began to argue before Kara cut her off mid sentence.

 

“You can finish it tomorrow, come on, we can watch a movie and just relax for the rest of the day.” she offered up in response. “It will make you feel a little bit better, I promise.”

 

Lena knew that she could never turn down anything from Kara, she couldn’t, nor did she ever want to, say no when Kara looked at her with her very best pouty puppy dog eyes and an offer of spending the entire day together.

 

“Fine.” Lena relented as she began to gather the things that she had left out before she and Kara had gone to collect their food for brunch. “Thank you.” she added quietly as she sent off a message to Jess telling her to clear Lena’s schedule for the rest of the day and to head home after doing so.

 

“Anytime.” Kara smiled as she wrapped an arm around Lena’s shoulders and guided her out of the office.

 

_Present Day_

 

“Okay miss Luthor, you can just take a seat right over there in the waiting room. The doctor will be with you as soon as she can.” a plump, friendly looking middle aged woman smiled at Lena from her seat behind the reception desk.

 

“Thank you.” Lena smiled back nervously in reply, taking the few leaflets that had been handed to her by the woman before making her way over to the seating area.

 

The waiting room was extremely large, although thankfully it was rather empty. Lena put it down to the fact that she had been booked in for the last appointment of the day given her busy schedule. There were a few noticeably pregnant women hobbling around and a handful of women scattered around looking just as nervous as Lena felt inside, and she found that it actually calmed her a little knowing that she wasn’t the only one currently scared out of her mind.

 

She could feel the palm of her hands sweating as she waited, and nervously rubbed them up and down along the length of her thighs in a desperate attempt to dry them off even a little just in case the doctor wanted to shake her hand whenever she introduced herself.

 

“First baby?” a heavily pregnant mom to Lena’s left leaned over with a ridiculously wide smile.

 

“That obvious, huh?” Lena attempted to laugh in reply, but it came out as more of a shaky breath and she cursed her inability to get herself together and at least appear calm on the outside.

 

“This is my fourth.” The woman smiled as she circled her stomach with her hand. “You’ll be absolutely fine. The diapers aren’t as bad as most people think, or maybe you just get used to them. Either way, you’re probably gonna stink of bodily fluids for the first month or so but it’s all part of the fun. Nothing portrays romance quite like a screaming baby in the middle of the night with poop all over both themselves and you. Just make sure that your husband takes his fair share of turns with the night changes and you’ll be fine.”

 

“Yeah.” Lena nodded along passively with the best smile that she could muster, not wanting to get into her whole life story with a complete stranger that she just met two seconds before. It was just yet another reminder of the ridiculously crazy situation that she had found herself in.

 

“Lena Kieran?” a voice called out into the waiting room and Lena politely excused herself as she let out a sigh of relief upon seeing the friendly looking doctor and made her escape from the conversation with the pregnant woman. “It’s so lovely to meet you, Miss Luthor.” the woman introduced herself quietly, and Lena was beyond thankful for the subtlety of the whole thing.

 

After the introductions, Lena was led through the back passed the reception desk and down a large hallway with a ton of different doors. Each one had the name of a different doctor engraved on a plaque and they had all been decorated with fun drawings and cards that she assumed must be from the babies that were delivered by each one of the doctors.

 

They finally turned off into one of the rooms on the side, the doctor taking a few seconds to unlock the door before they stepped inside and Lena had a chance to look around quickly as they got settled. There were a few different machines set up around the room, a large exam bed covered with a long strip of disposable paper and a computer in the corner. Lena wasn’t really sure what she expected it to look like, but it wasn’t as intimidating as she initially thought. There was a large board on the wall with a ton of different baby photos attached to it and Lena found that it eased her mind a little, not that she had questioned the doctors experience or anything, but actually seeing it all laid out in front of her was a big help.

 

“So, what we’re gonna do today is go over some things that I’ll need to know before we proceed, just family history with different illnesses and things along those type of lines, we’ll also check the baby out with the ultrasound machine to make sure that everything is progressing as it should be with the size and everything, and we’ll take some blood just to double check that everything is okay with you. Is that all alright with you? Do you have any questions right now?”

 

“I-.. Uh, no. I don’t think so. Should I have questions?” Lena asked anxiously as she tried to keep up with everything that the doctor was saying. Her heart was pounding harshly in her chest and as much as she wanted to be tough and not let any of this get to her, it was incredibly overwhelming and she was still trying to wrap her head around it all.

 

“Try not to worry too much, I’ll talk you through absolutely everything and if you have any questions whatsoever, even if you think that they’re silly, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here to make sure that you’re as comfortable as you can possibly be while in my care, and I promise that I’ll take fabulous care of both you and your little one.” The doctor assured her with a warm smile and Lena felt herself relax a little.

 

The rest of the appointment went by a lot more quickly after she finally began to relax and allow herself to open up to the doctor. She was asked a few questions as the doctor took notes, her blood was taken and then finally she was told to climb up onto the exam table and lay down on her back. Lena could feel her nerves returning as she lay down and slowly pulled up her shirt before sliding the waistband of her trousers down a little bit, just enough so that the doctor had access to her stomach.

 

“This will be a little cold, I’m sorry.” the doctor informed her with a sympathetic smile before squirting a generous amount of blue gel onto the exposed skin of Lena’s stomach as she tensed a little at the sensation.

 

Lena tried to remain as calm as she could as she felt the probe glide over her stomach, digging in gently as the doctor kept her eyes locked on the computer screen as she searched for the baby.

 

“Ah, there it is.” the doctor spoke softly, pressing a few keys on the keyboard before turning to Lena. “Right here, see this little black bean type shape? That’s your baby.”

 

It all felt so painfully real and the whole thing hit her like a truck the moment that she laid eyes on it. Sure, Lena had been aware of the fact that she was pregnant, but this wasn’t just some hypothetical kid, this was an actual child. This was __her__ actual child, a real life baby that would be here in just over seven months time. A baby that would grow into a toddler, that would then grow into a little kid going to school and playing on the swings. This was her life from here on out, the little black bean on the screen was her new life, and Lena was desperately struggling to wrap her head around the whole thing as the doctor handed her a few tissues. She hadn’t even realized that she had been crying in the first place, but the tears currently running down her cheeks were a giveaway.

 

“I’ll get some photos printed off for you so that you can take them home.” the doctor told Lena as she removed the probe from her stomach and gently wiped off the gel before giving Lena a hand to sit up. “If you have any other questions or anything then please don’t hesitate to call, and I’ll see you in a few weeks time for another check up.”

 

“Thank you so much.” Lena smiled softly as she lowered her shirt and hopped down from the table.

 

She made her way out of the building with a brand new folder of photos of her baby tucked safely away in her bag as she fished around inside for her car keys. It took a little longer than it usually would for her to locate them thanks to the nervous unrelenting shaking of her hands, but Lena eventually managed to get them out just as she approached her car in the parking lot. The drive home was thankfully not too busy, she had missed all of the traffic from people heading home from work and she made it back home to her apartment in just under a half an hour.

 

The very first thing that Lena did was set her bag down on the counter and immediately take out the new folder that she had tucked away just before getting into the car. She didn’t really have a good chance to take a proper look at the scan prints in the doctor’s office, and she was looking forward to being able to study them on her own in the privacy of her own apartment with no one there to witness her tears should any decide to appear.

 

Just as she was about to head into the living area and put her feet up, her eyes were drawn to the dining table in the corner of the room and Lena felt as though all of the wind had been knocked out of her body. She couldn’t breathe properly, her chest felt tight and she was unable to tear her eyes away from the vase of flowers sitting there with a note propped up against them. Her whole body was shaking as she slowly approached them against her better judgement, reaching out with an unstable hand to pick the note up and read over the words scribbled on the piece of paper.

 

_I hear congratulations are in order, baby sis. Little Lena is going to be a mommy!_

Lena’s eyes scanned over the words once before she tossed the piece of paper onto the floor with urgency as though it would catch on fire and burn her fingers if she held on to it any longer. Her mind was a mess of racing emotions and she couldn’t keep up with them all as she suddenly felt the floor appear beneath her and she curled up in on herself as she sat on the cold tile of her kitchen with the little stack of scan photos laying scattered on the floor where she had dropped them. Lex knew where she lived, he knew about the baby. She felt a strong wave of panic and disgust over the mere thought of him taking anything do to with her child’s life. He didn’t deserve to even so much as congratulate her. She felt sick and she had no idea what to do as she desperately tried to calm herself.

 

Lena was barely able to register the click of her front door opening before she noticed a few pairs of heavy black boots running around and a blur of blue and red. The DEO agents searched the entire apartment as quickly as they could for any potential danger with Kara calling orders out at them as she frantically looked around for Lena.

 

Lena still couldn’t get herself under control, and when she felt Kara’s presence near her she gripped onto her as tightly as she could and allowed herself to be soothed by Kara’s hand rubbing gently up and down her back as she cried into her shoulder. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she eventually came back to herself and was able to think clearly again, but judging by the agents still looking around her apartment, Lena guessed that it must have only been a few minutes.

 

The moment she realized that she currently had a death grip on Supergirl, on _Kara_ , she immediately let go and pulled away as Kara softened her hold and allowed Lena to move back. She climbed to her feet slowly, her legs still felt a little shaky but Lena was able to steady herself on the kitchen counter as she came face to face with Kara Danvers properly for the first time since she had found out about her real identity.

 

“The house is all clear, Supergirl.” one of the agents told Kara as they all appeared in the kitchen.

 

“Thank you guys. I’ll head back in a moment.” she nodded before they each made their way out of the door and clicked it closed behind them.

 

Kara made to take a step forward towards Lena the second that they were alone, but Lena immediately took a step back when she saw her moving.

 

“P- Please don’t shut me out again.” Kara begged as Lena stood frozen on the spot. “Let me be here for you. Are you okay?”

 

“I-.. I think that you should leave.” Lena’s voice shook as she desperately tried to keep what little composure she had left.

 

“Lena..” Kara began before she trailed off, her eyes catching something behind Lena as she began looking around on the floor at their feet. “Is that..?”

 

It took Lena a moment to understand what Kara was talking about. She slowly followed her line of sight and it led her to the scan photos from earlier spread out all across the kitchen floor where she had dropped all of them in her panic. Lena didn’t know what to tell the woman standing before her, she had never been in a situation like this or anything even remotely close to it in her whole entire life.

 

“Yeah.” she nodded quietly in response as she fidgeted nervously with her hands. The air was thick with tension as Kara slowly knelt down to pick up one of the photos from the floor before standing back up to her full height. Lena could see the slight shake in her hands as she held onto the piece of paper, eyes roaming back and forth over it before eventually flitting back up to Lena. “You can keep it, if you want. Just take it and go.”

 

“You can’t keep pushing me away!” Kara blurted out suddenly, and Lena was almost startled at the completely out of character outburst from the woman standing before her. “I made a mistake, I know that I did and I’m so incredibly sorry for that. It kills me knowing that I hurt you, but I can’t lose you Lena. I just can’t!”

 

“You were my best friend, Kara! My _favorite_ person!” Lena called out in response, feeling weeks of pent up frustration coming to the surface as she spoke. “I trusted you with everything that I had, and I thought that you felt the same way about me, that I wasn’t just another Luthor, but instead you treated me like I was nothing to you!”

 

“I didn’t tell you because you were nothing to me, Lena. I kept it a secret because you’re everything to me! I was terrified that I was going to lose you, and I now I’ve messed it all up but I need you to know that I do trust you, I trust you with everything in me. I promise you that much, you were _never ever_ just a Luthor to me. You’re _Lena_ Luthor, you are so incredibly intelligent and you have one of the kindest hearts that I’ve ever known despite being raised in a world that has treated you so coldly. You are the bravest, strongest woman that I know and I’m so incredibly sorry that I added to the coldness of this world for you. It was never my intention Lena.” They were both crying freely by the time Kara stopped talking but she could still see the doubt in Lena’s eyes, she didn’t believe what Kara was telling her and it broke Kara’s heart as she desperately tried to think of how she could prove to Lena just how much she meant to her. “I know that you don’t believe me, I know that I screwed up with the kryptonite and everything, but I need you to at least look at the whole picture. I told you as Supergirl that Kara believed in you, and she does, I do. I believe in you, Lena Luthor. You begged me to save those chemicals instead of you when we were on that plane, but I couldn’t let you go. I _knew_ that you hadn’t been responsible for poisoning those kids, I trusted you and I still do. I’m just so sorry, Lena.”

 

The lump in Lena’s throat was bordering on extremely painful as she tried her best to hold in the sobs that were threatening to burst free from inside of her. There were tears running freely down her face and she had long since given up on trying to keep them at bay. Kara was still clutching onto the scan photo of their baby as her glassy eyes pleaded desperately with Lena.

 

“I-.. I don’t know what to do, Kara.” Lena admitted tearfully. “I just.. I feel so _broken._ I don’t care that you kept your identity a secret, I get that part of it, I really do. You said that you get to be just Kara with me, and I felt the same with you. I was just Lena, sure, I had Supergirl going back on everything that she said about trusting me, but it was fine because who cares about her, right? I had you, and you were all that mattered, but finding out that it was _you_  that had those feelings towards me.. It made me feel as though I have no idea who you are. I don’t know, I just.. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“I can’t go back.” Kara told her tearfully. “I wish so desperately that I could, but unfortunately I’m not able to do that. Just know that I would do so many things differently if I could. I love you, Lena. I love you so much and I want you to know that I’m here for you, for whatever it is that you want from this.” she gestured between the two of them. “From us. You know me better than anyone from this world has ever known me, and I like to think that I know you too. I’m not asking for things to go back to the way that they were right away, I’m just asking for a chance. One chance to prove to you that I’m still me. I’m still Kara, I’m still the woman that held you all those nights when you were having nightmares. I’m still the reporter that wrote all of those articles about you. We ate lunch together every single day in your office. That was still me. It’s still me, Lena.”

 

Lena thought the whole thing over for a few seconds in her head and despite the ache that she still felt about the whole situation, she knew that Kara was right. There had been plenty of times in the past where Supergirl could have decided not to trust her, but she didn’t. Lena didn’t want to throw away one of the best things that had ever happened to her over a mistake, albeit a pretty big one. She was willing to work on this regardless of how difficult it would be because Kara, the Kara that she spent all of her time with, was worth the effort.

 

“Okay.” Lena spoke quietly with a nod as she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. “I’m still mad at you, but okay.”

 

“I know that you are, and that’s all that I can ask for.” Kara told her as she took a careful step forward, sighing in relief when Lena didn’t back away as she held out the scan photo in Lena’s direction. “They’re beautiful.” Kara smiled sadly as she passed it back to Lena.

 

“Yeah, they are.” Lena agreed quietly. “You can keep that one if you want to, I have a few.” she gestured to the floor where the rest of the photos were still laying.

 

“Thank you.” Kara smiled as she retracted her outstretched arm with the photo in her hand, tucking it safely into her pocket before she made for the door out of Lena’s apartment. “I’ll see you later?” it was phrased as more of a question than a statement as she reached out for the door handle, eyes never leaving Lena’s.

 

“I’ll see you later.” Lena confirmed quietly as Kara opened the door and stepped outside. “Thank you for everything with the DEO earlier.”

 

"Anytime." Kara replied with a soft smile. "I mean that.  _Anytime."_

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u guys know the drill, ignore any mistakes xx

 

 

Lena couldn’t seem to evade the feeling that something was _off._ It had appeared a few moments after Kara had left her alone in her apartment and had been steadily spreading throughout her entire body ever since. She knew logically that it was probably just due to the events of the day, any normal person would be startled if they were in her position. It didn’t sit right with her that Lex knew her address, but it made every single inch of her skin crawl that he knew about the baby too. She noticed that every time she thought about it she found herself instinctively with a hand cradling her lower stomach just beneath her belly button and it eased her nerves in a weirdly comforting way, her first instinct was to keep the baby safe and the knowledge made her feel strangely proud of herself.

 

Lena wasn’t sure what time she eventually drifted off to sleep that night, her head was swimming with worries about Lex, thoughts about Kara and Supergirl and the conversation that they’d had a few hours before, and she still couldn’t shake the feeling deep in her gut that something was off. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but it was there eating away at her slowly when she eventually drifted off into a restless sleep. She had been trying to get a lot more rest than she had been getting, but if things continued the way that they were then she had a feeling she wouldn’t be successful with her attempt.

 

It was still completely dark outside when Lena’s eyes fluttered open and she rolled over onto her other side with a groan, the little glowing digital alarm clock resting on her bedside table informing her that it was most definitely not time for her to be getting up yet, or any time soon for that matter. It took her a few moments to come back to full awareness of herself, or at least as much awareness as you could have at an ungodly hour of the morning, before she realized what was responsible for waking her in the first place. Her stomach was roiling uncomfortably and she let out another audible groan as she flipped back her bed covers, the cold of the room engulfing her as she padded through to the en suite and dropped down to her knees in the cold darkness of the bathroom right in front of the toilet seat.

 

“We really gotta work on this.” she complained out loud to the empty room as she cradled her stomach between retches. “You gotta at least try to work with me, I promise I’ll give you whatever weird junk food combinations that you crave, just _please_ let me get some sleep.” Lena grumbled as she reached up to pull the handle and flush the toilet.

 

She knew logically that she really ought to head back into her nice, soft, comfortable bed just a few steps away, but she was just so _exhausted_ and the cool tiles on the bathroom floor felt like _bliss_ on her sweaty, overheated body and before she really had a chance to think about it, Lena was curled up on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet and drifting back off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The DEO had been nothing short of complete and utter chaos the last few minutes ever since the news broke. Kara’s heart was pounding so harshly in her chest that she was genuinely afraid that she might be having a heart attack despite the fact that it wasn’t possible for that to even happen to her on planets with a yellow sun. There were agents running in every direction with a ton of different equipment, some were hauling large cases meanwhile others were yelling orders at their teams down their comms as they got everyone together.

 

“Supergirl, go! Now!” Alex demanded as Kara nodded in confirmation, letting out a sigh of relief before prepping herself and shooting off into the night sky.

 

It had only been a few minutes since she had heard the news, but it felt like an eternity for her and every fiber of her being had been aching to leave the building and go where she knew that she really needed to be. Kara had to will herself to slow down so that she didn’t break the sound barrier, but she eventually touched down on Lena’s balcony and breathed a sigh of relief as she listened to the steady beating of her heart and the slightly quieter second heartbeat.

 

Kara knew from the rate of her heart that Lena was asleep, and she quietly but swiftly made her way through to Lena’s bedroom, giving a quick once over in the apartment to make sure that everything was safe before proceeding. Kara felt her heart fall into her stomach when she stepped into the large bedroom and found the bed completely empty, but it only took Kara a few seconds to tune back into her heart and follow the sound into the bathroom.

 

“Oh, Lena.” Kara breathed quietly as she took in the sight before her.

 

Lena was curled up on the floor in front of the toilet seat in the bathroom, her head was resting on her arm and her body was folded in on itself making the woman look even tinier than usual. Kara felt a pang of sadness in her chest at yet another harsh reminder of the situation they had found themselves in. She should be there with Lena, she should be there to hold her hair out of the way and rub her back, it should be her lap that Lena was sleeping on instead of the cold hard floor. Kara got so caught up in her thoughts that she completely forgot why she was even there for a second, she wanted nothing more than to just scoop Lena up and tuck her in all cozy in her bed to allow her to get a little more sleep, but that wasn’t why she had come.

 

“Lena, hey.” she whispered as she crouched down and gently ran her hand along the bare skin of Lena’s forearm, taking extra care to make sure that she didn’t startle her. “Lena.” Kara whispered again a little louder as Lena began to stir.

 

“Mhm, five more minutes Kara.” Lena grumbled as she nuzzled further into the crook of her arm. “Please, baby. M’ tired.”

 

“Lena. You gotta get up, please.” Kara told her as she desperately tried to ignore Lena’s last comment and the butterflies in her stomach that followed, no longer whispering, but speaking quietly enough that she still wouldn’t startle Lena.

 

When Lena’s eyes fluttered open the first thing that she noticed was Kara in full Supergirl attire crouched over her with a somewhat worried expression on her face. She immediately shot up into a sitting position, groaning a little at the ache in her muscles from falling asleep laying on the hard bathroom floor, making a mental note to always head back to her bed regardless of how tired she was, before turning her attention back to the woman currently crouched over her.

 

“I’m really sorry I didn’t want to have to interrupt your sleep but we have to go, right now.” Kara told her as she stood up and reached out a hand to help Lena up off the floor too. “I promise that I’ll explain absolutely everything to you once we’re safe, I just really need you to trust me right now.” Her eyes pleaded with a significantly more awake Lena.

 

“What’s happening? Where are we going? What time is it?” Lena asked with a slight panic to her tone as her brain tried to catch up with the last few minutes. She was significantly more aware than she had been a few moments ago but Lena’s brain was still a little fuzzy around the edges from being asleep only a short while before.

 

“I don’t have enough time. _Please, Lena. _”__ Kara begged desperately, taking a step closer to Lena and catching her gaze with her own. “You’re not safe here, neither is the baby, I need you to come with me and then I’ll answer all of your questions. Just.. let me keep you safe. Please.”

 

Lena still had absolutely no idea what was going on, she was half convinced that she was still asleep and was in the middle of an extremely weird vivid dream, but Kara looked uncharacteristically panicked and Lena knew that if she was actually in any real danger then the safest place for her to be was with Kara.

 

“Okay.” she relented as Kara let out a sigh of relief, nodding her head as she gestured for Lena to make her way over to the balcony.

 

Lena watched as Kara quickly sped around to the other side of her bedroom, grabbing her soft fuzzy blanket from the bed before returning and draping it gently around her shoulders like a cape to match Kara’s.

 

“It’s gonna be cold out there.” Kara explained with a small smile as she stepped closer to Lena and held her arms out, not moving any further, instead waiting for Lena to come to her.

 

Lena hesitated for a few moments before securing the soft blanket around her shoulders and stepping into Kara’s arms, allowing them to engulf her as she wrapped her own arms around Kara’s neck for extra security. This was the first time in a long while that they had been this close to one another. Kara still smelled exactly like she always did, she was a solid warm comfort that eased the knots in Lena’s stomach about whatever was currently going on significantly quickly. So quickly that Lena mentally berated herself for falling back into it so easily. Still, she didn’t pull back, she simply held onto Kara and allowed herself to be held in return.

 

“I’m sorry about this, I know flying isn’t exactly your preferred method of transport. I promise that I’ll be as quick as I can.” Kara’s breathy voice echoed in her ear.

 

“It’s okay.” Lena told her as she tightened her grip a little.

 

Lena found that she was extremely grateful for the blanket currently wrapped tightly around her shoulders as the cold air of the night whipped almost painfully around her face. Kara herself was like a furnace, never one to be affected by the climate here on earth, and Lena found herself nuzzling in impossibly closer in an attempt to steal some of her warmth.

 

She found herself so lost in the moment, the feeling of Kara warm and secure all around her, the sweet vanilla smell of her skin and the faint hint of strawberry from her shampoo, that Lena almost forgot why she was even in this situation in the first place. She wasn’t brought back to reality until she felt her feet touch something cool and solid and she realized that they had gotten to wherever they were headed as the comforting pressure of Kara’s arms loosened around her waist before being gone completely.

 

Lena’s face felt flushed from the sudden warmth surrounding her after being pelted with the cold air for so long, and she was suddenly aware of the fact that she wasn’t wearing any shoes as she looked down at her fluffy mismatched socks and pulled the blanket a little tighter around herself in an effort to conceal her equally mismatched pajamas.

 

After a quick glance around she realized that they were standing in the middle of the DEO, although it was almost unrecognizable due to all of the chaos currently taking place. No one even so much as registered that the CEO of L-Corp was currently standing in the DEO wrapped in a fuzzy blanket and wearing mismatched socks at three in the morning.

 

“Come on, this way.” Kara wasted absolutely no time, nodding her head towards the direction they were going as Lena immediately followed along beside her.

 

Kara led her down one of the staircases, separate from the one that they would usually use, before opening up one of the large metal panels in the wall that Lena hadn’t even realized existed. It opened to reveal a large, well lit hallway not unlike the rest of the DEO despite the fact that it was apparently completely hidden from anyone who wasn’t aware of it’s existence.

 

They walked for a few long moments, the silence broken only by the sound of Kara’s boots on the ground before she was led around a corner and into a surprisingly large room filled with what appeared to be agents working around a screen down in the far corner.

 

“I got her!” Kara called out in the direction of them as they continued to make their way to the other side of the room.

 

“Lena, hey, I’m so sorry about all of this.” Alex stepped out from the crowd of people and headed over to where both she and Kara were standing, smiling apologetically as she gave Lena a quick once over with her eyes to make sure that she was okay.

 

“I’m fine, will one of you please just tell me what’s going on?” she all but begged as her eyes flicked back and forth between both Alex and Kara, desperate for answers and trying to fight off the headache that was creeping up on her from the lack of sleep and vomiting.

 

Lena guessed from the deep breath that Kara took to brace herself that she was going to be the one to tell her about whatever was going on, and she had a feeling it wasn’t going to be anything near good news.

 

“It’s Lex.” Kara told her as she took a small step forward and looked Lena right in the eyes. “He escaped from his cell a few hours ago and we’re pretty sure that he’s coming after us and the baby. Clark is on Argo so he’s safe, Lillian has been moved to a secure location with armed guards so she’s not going anywhere if he even tried to break her out, I just had to get you and make sure that you were safe too.”

 

Lena’s head was swimming as she desperately tried to catch up with the situation. She’d had an extremely long, draining week at work, she was beyond exhausted, she still felt a little on the nauseous side and here she was standing in the DEO in the middle of the night with the Danvers sisters telling her that Lex had escaped from prison and was coming after the two most important people in her life. There was a part of her that wanted to scream as loud as she could until her voice disappeared, part of her wanted to run and take cover under the nearest desk and hide there until everything was normal again, and another part of her just wanted to sit on the floor and cry, but she did neither of those things. Instead, Lena stood completely frozen, rooted to the spot as her eyes filled with panic and she felt herself begin to mentally leave the room before she could ground herself.

 

“Take her next door, I’ve got everything here. You’re not safe out there anyway. Just go make sure that she’s alright and if I need either of your help then I promise I’ll let you know.” Alex’s voice sounded extremely distant in Lena’s ears, and the next thing that she was aware of was a warm hand wrapped around her waist and that she was being gently guided somewhere.

 

“Wait, no, I can help!” Lena heard herself say as she was being ushered off. “I need to help!”

 

“Lena, hey, look at me.” a voice sounding from her right caught Lena’s attention and she turned around to face Kara, comforting blue eyes melting into her own. “You can help by keeping yourself safe, okay? That’s all we need you to do right now. Come on, come with me.”

 

Ordinarily Lena would immediately switch into CEO mode and be right in among all of the action, she would want to know exactly what was happening and demand that she be the one to remedy it or at least help to remedy it, but truth be told, she was scared. She was scared for herself, but mostly she was absolutely terrified for her baby. The disgust that she felt upon seeing just seeing the card that Lex had left for her earlier on in the day had multiplied by a million and it was so overwhelming that she could barely even focus on moving her own limbs let alone do anything else.

 

Kara on the other hand was aching to go out and help, to go and do something, to do _anything_ that wasn’t just sitting around in the DEO and waiting for other people to contain Lex and deal with the problem, but she knew that she had to take her own advice, and it was crystal clear that she was needed here. She knew logically that Lex was after not only Lena and the baby, but also her too, and she also knew that she was in the safest place that she could be given the situation, but her body was still itching to help. Or at least, it was until she saw the sheer terror in Lena’s eyes and she instantly knew that she wouldn’t leave her side even if she was being dragged away with a kryptonite laced lasso.

 

Things were still extremely up in the air with them and truth be told just being in such close proximity to Lena for this length of time after being apart for so long was making Kara want to burst out in tears, but she was willing to be there for whatever Lena would let her be there for. If Lena wanted to sit in complete and utter silence in the safe room then so be it, if she wanted to talk then they would talk, if she wanted Kara to sing to her then Kara sure as hell would do that. She just wanted Lena back in her life, and if this was the first step then Kara was more than willing to sit in the DEO doing absolutely nothing but comforting Lena all night long if that’s what it took.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wouldn't y'all just die for these gays? i know i would, i would die for these gays


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

 

Lena still seemed a little out of it when Kara gently led her through to one of the back rooms and carefully guided her down onto the old padded couch in the corner before heading back over to the door and making sure that everything was sealed tight and locked up securely. She had her earpiece in and a DEO issued phone so that Alex could contact her whenever the coast was clear or to let her know about any updates with the situation, but for the time being it looked like they were going to be tucked away inside for the foreseeable future.

 

“Do you- Uh.. Do you need anything?” Kara asked tentatively as she eyed Lena, who still hadn’t said a single word other than insisting to help with the situation before Alex assured her that it was alright and that she needed to make sure that she was safe first and foremost. The silence stretched on as Kara waited for a response from Lena, and she found herself rambling on awkwardly in an attempt to ease some of the discomfort of the situation. “It’s a little cold in here, are you cold? I could grab a few blankets or maybe make us a cup of tea or something. I think there might be some stuff to make a couple of sandwiches too if you’re hungry, are you hungry?”

 

“I’m gonna throw up.” Lena stated calmly, catching Kara off guard as she stopped rambling and turned her attention to Lena.

 

“Oh- Uh.. Yeah, that’s uh, that’s fine. Um, the bathroom is over there.” Kara gestured to the only other door inside the room and then watched as Lena got up from the couch and groggily headed over to it.

 

Even without her super hearing Kara could loudly hear Lena throwing up in the bathroom and it struck something deep inside her chest that felt as though she was being stabbed repeatedly. If this had happened only a few short months ago then she would have been in there with Lena, holding her hair back for her or fetching her a glass of water or doing anything other than being shut out on the other side of the door. When she heard the flush of the toilet Kara quickly rushed to compose herself, making herself busy in the little kitchen area in the corner as she rinsed out a large glass before filling it up with some water for Lena just in case she wanted it.

 

When the door eventually opened Lena looked even more exhausted than she had before if that was even possible. There was a thin layer of sweat across her flushed face and her eyes wouldn’t even open all the way as she padded across the room and plopped back down on the couch. A few stray hairs were matted to her forehead and she looked completely run down.

 

“Here, I got you some water just in case you’re thirsty.” Kara told her quietly as she approached and held out the glass with a soft smile.

 

“Thank you.” Lena’s voice was thick and raspy as she gratefully accepted the glass and drank the entire thing all in one go.

 

“I can get you some sweats and a t shirt if you want to change out of this stuff too, we have a ton here and I need to change out of this suit anyway.” Kara offered as she eyed Lena’s mismatched pajamas, not that they weren’t completely adorable and made her stomach do never-ending somersaults, but Kara knew that Lena probably wouldn’t be comfortable with others seeing her in them. The only other person she felt that comfortable around was Kara, or at least it used to be.

 

“That would actually be great, thank you.” Lena smiled weakly as her eyes began to flutter closed and Kara wondered if she would even be able to stay awake long enough to get herself changed.

 

After receiving the news about the baby and having everything blow up in her face, Kara had spent a lot of her free time researching pregnancy in general and all of the different stages so that she at least knew what would be going on even if Lena wasn’t ready to share with her just yet. Kara knew that Lena would be nauseous and exhausted, it was totally normal and to be expected for where she was at right now, but knowing what was happening and actually seeing Lena go through all of those things were two completely different experiences. It was startling to see just how much of an effect everything was already having on Lena, and Kara hated that she was adding to the stack of stress for her.

 

After rummaging around in the supply closet for a few minutes, Kara managed to find a couple of black DEO training shirts that looked as though they would fit the two of them, some matching black sweats and a large thick camping blanket that she folded up before taking back to Lena who was still curled up on the couch. Kara offered her the bathroom to get changed in before passing over the clothes and smiling as Lena quietly thanked her.

 

Once she was alone, Kara quickly stripped out of her own suit, pulling on the significantly more comfortable shirt and sweats before folding it up and setting it aside for easy access just in case Supergirl was needed elsewhere throughout the night. She knew that they would send J’onn out to deal with any emergencies if it was really necessary, it was easier for him to disguise himself than it would be for her, but the peace of mind of knowing that at least her suit was there brought her a little comfort.

 

Kara noted that Lena seemed to be taking a long while to change into her clothes, although she was also aware of the fact that unlike herself, humans didn’t have the ability to use super speed while changing. She opted to go get herself a glass of water and settle on the couch while she waited for Lena to reappear. She was just beginning to wonder if maybe Lena had nodded off to sleep and passed out on the bathroom floor when she heard the noise coming from under the door.

 

It was quiet, very muffled, but Kara could hear it anyway and she felt her entire body tense up as she realized what was going on. Lena was crying, she was absolutely sure of it, although it was clear that she was trying to keep as quiet as she possibly could. Kara guessed that she must have something pressed up against her face to muffle the noise, but she could still hear it and it broke her heart into a million tiny pieces.

 

She debated back and forth about whether or not she should go and check in on her, the thought of Lena so upset was killing her but she also wasn’t sure if Lena wanted to be left alone or not. Kara hesitated for a few moments but she found that she was unable to just sit and wait whilst Lena sounded so upset just a few feet away.

 

* * *

 

The tiles were cold beneath her as Lena sat propped up against the wall and cried as quietly as she could into her soft pajama shirt. She wasn’t quite sure what had come over her, in all honesty she was feeling sorry for herself, heightened by the lack of sleep and hormones running wild inside her body that resulted in her breaking down when she got her shirt tangled in her hair as she was trying to take it off. She felt completely scattered all over the place, she was beyond terrified about Lex, her heart was split in two about Kara, she felt more drained than she ever had in her whole entire life and on top of it all she really just wanted a jar of peanut butter and the biggest spoon that she could fit into her mouth.

 

A somewhat hesitant knock at the door startled her out of her downward spiral of thoughts and Lena gave her face a quick wipe with her shirt in an attempt to clean it up a little before calling out in response.

 

“Y- Yeah?” her voice cracked as she spoke, sounding significantly rougher than usual thanks to the crying, despite her effort to sound as normal as she possibly could given the situation.

 

“Hey, uh, just checking to make sure that you’re alright.” Kara’s voice came through the door and Lena quickly stood up and began gathering her things as she tried to put herself back together as best she could.

 

“S- Sorry, yeah, I’m.. I’m fine, I’ll just be a moment.” she called back, splashing a little cold water over her eyes in an attempt to calm the angry red shade that had taken over before she opened the door and stepped back out into the room.

 

Lena could feel Kara’s intense gaze on her as she made her way back across the floor, setting her now neatly folded pile of pajamas down on the ground beside the couch before taking a seat on the side opposite from the blonde, who was still eyeing her worriedly.

 

“Do you.. Uh.. Are you okay?” Kara asked tentatively, eyes never leaving Lena as she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them protectively.

 

“I’m fine.” Lena told her almost on autopilot. She hadn’t even thought about the question, the reply had just shot out of her mouth from years of being trained to never let anyone in. Although, Kara was always the exception to that. She was the one person who seemed to be able to jump over the walls that had been stacked so high around her, and she did it with ease.

 

“You’re not fine, Lena.” Kara told her almost sternly, but with a softness to her tone that was reserved only for the woman sitting in front of her. “You don’t have to talk about it with me, I know that I-.. Well, I messed up, but you’re not fine and you don’t have to be, no one is expecting you to be. This is a big deal, to tell you the truth I’m completely terrified, and I hate that you’re hurting and I can’t do anything to help you. This whole situation is just really shitty, and on top of it all you’re going through so many different internal changes and honestly I just don’t know how you’re doing it all and handling it so well... I guess what I’m trying to say is that no one would think any less of you if you weren’t completely, one hundred percent cool with all of this, and I need you to know that I’m still here for you if you need me.”

 

“My boobs hurt.” Lena blurted out the second that Kara stopped talking. “My boobs hurt so bad, like.. they hurt all the time. They hurt when I wear a bra and they hurt when I don’t wear one so I’m not sure what to do about that. I ate a pickle dipped in peanut butter the other day before I even realized what the hell I was doing, I mean I thought that those weird craving things happened way later but apparently not. I haven’t had a full nights sleep for like a whole two months, which makes sense because that’s how far along the doctor that said I am, which means it’s probably not going to get any better for like another month and I honestly don’t know how the hell I can handle it because I’m not allowed to drink any goddamned coffee, which is a whole other problem in itself because I need caffeine to function, and now my psychotic brother has escaped to come after not only me but also my unborn baby, and the __one__  person in the whole entire world that I could always count on to help me through things like this is.. well, you know.. so maybe you’re right. I’m guess I’m not fine. I’m exhausted and terrified beyond belief, not just about Lex but about everything, and I’m so anxious I can barely sit still half of the time, and I really _really_  miss my best friend.. I just.. Why? Why would you say all of those things if you really didn’t mean them?” Lena finished with a loud exhale as she wiped away a few stray tears that had fallen during her outburst.

 

The silence that fell over the room was heavy and thick with tension, Lena knew that once she had gotten some rest and felt a little bit more like herself then she would regret every single thing that had just been blurted out of her mouth, but for now she was too tired to care and honestly it did feel kind of good to get it all off her chest.

 

“You know.. I’ve been thinking a lot about that.” Kara finally spoke up after a long silence, voice thick with tears although she didn’t let any fall from her eyes just yet. “At first I thought that I had no idea why it all happened the way that it did, I was just so confused and angry at myself for letting it happen that I didn’t actually stop and think about why I said and did all of those things to you, but the truth is that I do know why. I just pushed it so deep down inside of me that I wouldn’t have to face it. You were everything to me, Lena. You still are, and I know, trust me I know that this isn’t an excuse and it doesn’t make it okay, but I think I frightened myself with how much you truly mean to me. I lost _everything_ when I was a kid and some days it still feels like the pain is going to destroy me, I just.. I couldn’t face potentially losing you when you had become so intertwined with my life but I guess that it backfired on me anyway. I’m just so incredibly sorry that I hurt you, but please know that it was never actually about _you,_ Lena Luthor. It was me and my own issues that I clearly still need to work on.”

 

Lena felt the sudden urge to drop to her knees and beg for Kara’s forgiveness as she listened to her talk. She felt awful, she had spent the last few weeks blaming herself, wondering why Kara would do that to her, when in reality she should have considered the other woman’s side of things. It didn’t even occur to her that Kara being Supergirl meant that her best friend had lost her parents, her family, her entire world before having to adjust to a brand new planet and having to find a new family whilst keeping alive the memory of the one that she had lost.

 

“We really made a mess of things, didn’t we?” Lena asked sadly as she allowed a few more tears to roll down her cheeks.

 

“Yeah, I guess we did.” Kara agreed with a humorless laugh as she brushed a few of her own tears away with her sleeve before they had the chance to fall from her eyes.

 

“You know that you’ll never lose me, right? I know things are a complete mess right now and we have an awful lot of stuff to work through, but you’ll never ever lose me, not if I can help it.” Lena told her quietly as she absentmindedly played with a loose thread on her sleeve.

 

She knew deep down in her heart that she wasn’t going to lose Kara over everything that had happened, sure she had needed some time apart from her to process everything and honestly Lena wasn’t sure if she still needed more time or not, but she did know that Kara hadn’t lost her.

 

Instead of a reply, Kara finally cracked and allowed the tears to fall as she nodded her head in Lena’s direction, desperately trying to convince herself that what she had just heard was actually said by Lena and that she hadn’t just imagined it.

 

They sat in silence for a long while until they both calmed down significantly and were no longer crying. Lena could feel the exhaustion setting in and her head felt almost too heavy for her to hold up on her own as her eyes began to flutter closed against her will.

 

The last thing that she registered before she succumbed to the overwhelming urge to sleep was the unmistakable smell of Kara, something firm but soft beneath her head, and a warm hand gently caressing her head.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have some xmas fluff before i come up with more angst xx

 

 

When Lena’s eyes fluttered open a few hours later, she immediately had a creeping sort of realization that something felt strange. It took her a few long moments of allowing herself to properly wake up before looking around and instantly realized that she was floating a good meter or so above the couch where she had fallen asleep earlier. Kara’s body was solid and warm beneath her, and she seemed to immediately sense that Lena was awake as her own eyes began to flutter behind her eyelids. The second Kara’s eyes opened Lena was met with a look of fear and something resembling guilt plastered on the face beneath her as she immediately began stuttering and lowering them both back down onto the couch as swiftly as she could.

 

“Rao I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I really should have asked you first, but you were already asleep and you looked so exhausted and the couch just isn’t comfortable at all, I didn’t want you to be sore when you woke up.” Kara rambled on anxiously as she set Lena down gently and backed away. “It’s just old and really lumpy and it’s not really an acceptable place for a pregnant woman to be sleeping, I just wanted you to get at least a few hours of rest.” she finished with a half smile.

 

“It’s okay.” Lena assured her. “I actually wasn’t expecting to sleep at all, it was nice to get a little. Are there any updates or anything about what’s going on?” she asked nervously, not even bothering to try and act as though she was cool about the whole thing when it was still worrying her to no end.

 

“Last I heard there still wasn’t anything.” Kara told her regretfully. “Try not to worry too much, I’m sure we’ll know something soon.”

 

Lena could see from the way that Kara was nervously wringing her hands together and trying not to pace the floor constantly that she didn’t really believe what she was saying, Lena knew that she was probably itching to go and help, she could see how badly Kara was struggling with staying put and letting other people deal with the problem, but it was a matter of her safety.

 

“At least we’re safe for now.” she told her with a gentle smile in a small attempt to comfort her. “I’m sure that we’ll hear something soon.”

 

“I hope so.” Kara replied as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

 

“Yeah, I do too.” Lena agreed quietly, her voice laced with detectable worry.

 

Lena wasn’t sure how long the two of them spent in the room that day after they had woken up. Time seemed to move infinitely slower as they waited and waited and waited for something, for anything, to happen. She knew that there was work that she really needed to get done if she wanted any time off at all for winter break, but with the way that things were looking, Lena would be working her way through until the new year. She didn’t have her laptop or tablet with her, and even if she did, she wouldn’t be allowed to use it. Apparently it could be used to track her down, so both she and Kara were ordered to stay away from any devices like that which was infinitely irritating for her.

 

Despite the whole thing being one massive inconvenience to her very busy work life and strict schedule that she set for herself to follow, Lena had to admit that she was maybe a little grateful to have had the opportunity to just be able to have a talk with Kara without any other outside interruptions or anywhere else for them to be. They still had an awful lot to figure out and talk through, and on top of it all Lena was still walking around carrying their child, but for right now things were tolerable and that’s all that she really cared about at the present time.

 

Although she was feeling grateful about having the opportunity to talk to Kara, Lena was also burning with embarrassment about her outburst last night and she very much wanted to avoid any conversation that would potentially cause her to get super emotional like that again while the two of them were stuck in the safe room at the DEO. Kara had always been one of the very few people that she could allow herself to be vulnerable with and never ever feel judged for doing so, not that she felt judged by her right now, but Lena was judging herself for the whole thing and it wasn’t something that she planned on repeating.

 

They spent the remaining hours locked away in the room trading safe topics of conversation back and forth as they fell into a comfortable pattern of just being in each others company. Lena felt her heart ache at the sheer easiness of it all, she knew that she had been missing Kara, but missing her and actually experiencing what she had been missing out on were two very different things and she had to resist the urge to curl up on Kara’s lap and cry about how even though she was mad, she missed her so much.

 

“So, do you have any plans for Christmas this year?” Kara asked quietly as they sat on the couch counting the little dust particles that were slightly visible from the light in the room.

 

“Uh, I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest, I have a ton of work to get done, I’ll probably just spend some time at the office then head home and watch some movies for a bit.” Lena told her with a wave of her hand.

 

“Lena, no! We went over this last year, you can’t spend Christmas alone!” Kara sat up from her slouched position on the couch to emphasize her point.

 

“Then I’ll ask Sam and Ruby if they mind having me over for some company.” Lena assured her, desperately trying to push the memories and feelings that accompanied them of last Christmas. She had spent it with Kara at her apartment with her entire family, they spent the duration of the month singing cheesy Christmas songs, building gingerbread houses and decorating the tree. They had even shared a private drunken kiss beneath the mistletoe once everyone else had gone home, but in a strictly platonic way, of course. It wasn’t the first time that the two of them could be found drunkenly engaging in acts that most definitely toed the line of things that two women who are just friends would do, but neither of them had ever actually spoken about it, it just seemed to flow naturally until it had all come to a crashing halt with the Supergirl news.

 

“Oh well actually, Sam and Ruby are coming to Midvale with Alex and I to spend Christmas with Eliza at her place. I’d love it if you would come too, there’s no pressure of course, but at least you’ll be with people who love you instead of all alone in your office. Plus, this will be your last Christmas before.. well.. you know..” Kara gestured vaguely to Lena’s midsection as she shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

 

Just as she was about to try and come up with a response, the door to the room cracked open and Lena couldn’t help but breathe a long sigh of relief at finally being free, although it was followed almost instantly with an almost overwhelming panic bubbling up in her stomach as she remembered the reason that she and Kara had to be locked away in the room in the first place.

 

“What happened? Is everyone okay?!” Lena asked as both herself and Kara immediately rushed over to Alex.

 

“Everyone is good, we had no fatalities, though it wasn’t for lack of trying.” Alex added with a slight eye roll. “Lex is in custody and he’s being shipped as far away from here as he possibly can be.” she assured Lena, who’s heart was all but pounding out of her chest. “Everything is safe for now, we still don’t know how he escaped or who helped him, but there’s no immediate danger to either of you right now, so you’re both free to go and we’ll keep you up to date with any new information.”

 

“Thank you.” Kara rushed over to Alex and pulled her into a bear hug. “I was so worried about you, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

 

“Yeah, I’m glad I’m okay too.” Alex laughed as Kara squeezed a little tighter than was pleasant, earning a smack on the back of her head as Alex laughed a littl louder. “Let me go you moron I can’t breathe.”

 

Lena watched the whole thing unfold in front of her before she grabbed her clothes from the night before and got herself ready to go home.

 

“Hey, think about my offer.” Kara called after her with a soft smile. “We’d love to have you, but only if it’s what you want.”

 

“I’ll think about it, thank you.” Lena smiled back politely, giving a small nod of gratitude in Alex’s direction before leaving the room.

 

* * *

 

After debating back and forth for a while and a few very convincing conversations over the phone with both Sam and Ruby, Lena found herself packing a large overnight bag with a few different outfits and pajamas by the time the morning of Christmas Eve rolled around. Alex was getting the train to Midvale with Ruby and Sam, and despite being invited to join them, Lena insisted on driving herself down to Eliza’s thanks to her morning sickness being amplified by motion. She found that when she was driving it wasn’t as bad, she could focus on the task at hand and it kept her mind off of it for long enough to get her to wherever she needed to be.

 

Kara had offered to join Lena on the drive as soon as she had found out that she would be travelling to Midvale on her own, and while she was a little unsure about the whole thing at first and extremely worried about it being awkward between the two of them, Lena reminded herself that just a few short weeks ago they had both been trapped in a room together for an entire day and a half, and apart from a few awkward breakdowns, it had been alright for the most part, so she relented and told Kara that she could join her on the drive down to Midvale.

 

They had decided to take Lena’s car seeing as how it was a lot more reliable than the extremely old scrap of junk that Kara owned and kept hidden away in a storage unit that was rarely ever used. She barely ever needed a car anyway what with being a superhero and all, she could fly most places and public transport was a lot faster in the city compared to sitting in hours of traffic each day. Lena’s car was on the newer side and the seats were a lot more comfortable than Kara’s, complete with a heating feature built into them and the best GPS that money could buy. Kara had teased her about it a while ago when they decided to take a spontaneous road trip out of the city together for the weekend and somehow still managed to get very very lost despite having all of the directions laid out right in front of them.

 

It was memories like this that made Lena think that maybe everything was going to turn out alright for them in the end. Some people just vibrate on the same frequencies, and Lena and Kara were two of those people. Kara just seemed to __get__ her, and Lena felt the same way about Kara.

 

“Hey, I brought some snacks just in case you haven’t eaten yet today.”  Kara told her with a smile as she opened the door and climbed into the passengers seat of the car after loading up her luggage beside Lena’s in the trunk. “Don’t worry, it’s all that healthy junk that you like.”

 

“I actually haven’t eaten, thank you. You really didn’t have to do that.” Lena replied with a smile, making sure that, despite the fact that she was indestructible, Kara had her seat belt buckled up before she pulled out onto the main road again.

 

Despite trading a text or two back and forth just checking in on each other, this was the first time that Lena was seeing Kara properly since the whole incident a few weeks before, and although they weren’t exactly on bad terms with one another, the tension that blanketed them in the car was thick and heavy. Lena was extremely grateful for the car radio filling up most of the awkward silence. It was as though neither of them really knew what to do or say for fear of upsetting the other one. They occasionally traded small talk about work, filling the other in about new projects or articles that they had been working on, but other than that it was a tense drive for a long while.

 

About an hour or so into the drive, Lena began feeling a familiar dreaded roil deep in the pit of her stomach and she clenched the steering wheel in an attempt to regain her focus and concentrate on the road, but her body was pretty insistent, the feeling only getting worse despite her very best efforts at trying to prevent it.

 

“Oh god not now, please now not.” Lena groaned out loud as she took one of her hands off the steering wheel and rested it just below her belly button. “Please just let me finish this drive first.”

 

“What?” Kara turned to her with a confused look on her face as she tried to work out what Lena meant.

 

“Oh sorry, I wasn’t talking to-.. I’m just pretty sure that I’m going to throw up.” she admitted as her stomach churned once again. “Yep, definitely going to throw up.” Lena told Kara as she pulled up on the side of the highway.

 

“Oh crap, are you okay? Is there anything that you need me to do?” Kara asked in a slight panic as she climbed out of the car and rounded the front as quickly as humanly possible to get to Lena’s side, extending a hand out and helping her out.

 

Lena didn’t even get a chance to answer Kara before her body doubled her over and she began emptying the contents of her stomach onto the side of the road. Kara’s hands almost instinctively reached down to hold onto her waist, keeping Lena balanced so that she didn’t fall over as she was throwing up. When she was sure that she was done throwing up and was finally able to stand vertically, Kara was waiting with a bottle of water in hand for her to rinse out her mouth and a piece of mint chewing gum, and Lena was suddenly extremely grateful to have her there with her despite the slight awkwardness, she would’ve hated to get sick if she was on her own at the side of the highway.

 

“I’m gonna drive the rest of the way, you should lay down and try to get some rest.” Kara told her as she leaned into the passengers side and adjusted the seat so that it was laying almost completely flat before heading around to the trunk.

 

When she emerged from the back of the car she was carrying what Lena recognized to be one of her large pillows from her bed at home and a large knitted blanket that Kara always kept folded over the bottom of her bed for the colder winter nights.

 

“Here, I packed these just in case we didn’t have enough for everyone at Eliza’s.” Kara told her with a smile as she lay the pillow down on the top of the seat before gesturing for Lena to climb in.

 

Lena could feel her eyes burning with the urge to start crying and she internally cursed her body once again before accepting Kara’s hand and climbing into the seat before laying down and gratefully taking the blanket from her too.

 

“Thank you for this.” Lena told her sincerely as Kara climbed into the passenger’s seat.

 

“Anything for you, you know that.” Kara replied with a gentle smile before starting the engine up. “Is there anything else that you need before we go?”

 

“I’m good.” Lena assured her. “Thanks again.”

 

The overwhelming smell of something so distinctly _Kara_ overwhelmed her slightly heightened senses in the best way possible and Lena felt a sense of calm wash over her that she hadn’t felt in the longest time. The smell of Kara’s washing power brought her endless comfort and the pillow smelled ever so slightly of Kara’s shampoo, it wasn’t long before Lena found herself drifting off to sleep.

 

Kara found her gaze occasionally shifting away from the road when it was safe so that she could check up on Lena. Her best friend was curled up as much as she could be in the passengers seat with Kara’s blanket pulled up to her chin as she quietly slept and Kara felt her heart both ache and soar at the sight of her. She didn’t even have the words for how much it meant to her to have Lena here in the car with her right now when she had been so sure that she had lost her forever, but at the same time she hated that Lena felt poorly and she really just wished that she could take it away for her.

 

The next thing that Lena registered after the smell of Kara on her pillow was a soft voice singing along quietly to whatever song was currently playing on the radio. She felt significantly better than she had earlier, and judging by the way that her entire body felt weighted, she guessed that she must have been able to fall asleep for a little while. She listened for a bit as Kara continued to sing softly, it wasn’t like her usual singing along to the radio, it was calm and soothing as opposed to the usual energetic performances that she usually provided, but Lena enjoyed it nonetheless.

 

“Oh, hey, you’re awake.” Kara stated as she glanced over at Lena and realized that she was no longer sleeping. “Do you feel any better?”

 

“Yeah, I actually feel a lot better.” Lena told her with a smile as she adjusted the seat into a position that was a little closer to sitting than laying down.

 

“Good, I’m glad. We should be there in like ten minutes.” Kara told her as she gestured to the GPS in between the two of them.

 

When they finally pulled up outside of Eliza’s place it was exactly the same as Lena remembered it, the only difference was the Christmas lights strung up around the outside of house and the large wreath on the front door. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore was a constant background noise here and Lena found it endlessly soothing. Unlike the city, it was peaceful and quiet here. There was no hustle and bustle, just calm. It was exactly what she needed.

 

Once they were parked in the driveway Kara climbed out of the car and insisted on getting all of the bags from the trunk as Lena stretched out her limbs from the long drive. The air was fresh here and the winter breeze was a shock to her system, but not an entirely unpleasant one. The only downside was that the smell of the ocean was suddenly a lot stronger to her pregnant nose, and Lena was eager to get inside and away from it.

 

“Hey Eliza.” Kara greeted her mom excitedly as she pulled her in for a hug.

 

“Oh my girl, it’s so good to see you!” Eliza told her as she matched her excitement and squeezed Kara as hard as she could before pulling away and turning to Lena. “Oh sweetie it’s so great to see you too, I’m so glad that you decided to join us all for the holidays.” she exclaimed before pulling Lena in for a hug too. “Alex, Sam and Ruby are in the living room, you guys can take your bags upstairs and then we’ll sort out dinner for you all!” Eliza told them before rushing off and leaving Kara and Lena standing in the large hallway.

 

As they made their way upstairs Lena was hit with a problematic realization. Sam would be sharing with Alex, Eliza was going to take the couch to allow Ruby to sleep in her own bed, which left Kara’s double bed for the two of them to sleep in.

 

“Oh, uh, don’t worry.” Kara spoke up almost as though she could sense Lena’s thoughts. “You can have the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

 

“Don’t be stupid.” Lena exclaimed. “It’s your bed, you’re not sleeping on the floor.”

 

“Well neither are you.” Kara told her matter of factly. “I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

 

“We’ve slept in the same bed plenty of times I’m sure that we’ll manage for a few nights.” Lena assured her in response.

 

Once they had put their bags and everything away in Kara’s room, the two of them headed back down the stairs to greet Alex, Sam and Ruby who were sitting around the large couch in the living room with Eliza. There was a Christmas movie playing in the background and Eliza had a big beautiful tree in the corner decorated with beautiful sparkling lights and a ton of baubles. They were each cradling a steaming warm cup of hot cocoa and Lena spotted two sitting on the coffee table for who she guessed were herself and Kara.

 

“Hey guys, come in, take a seat.” Eliza waved them in with a wide smile as everyone shuffled around to make some space for the two of them on the couch. “I made you some hot cocoa.” she gestured to the table and both Lena and Kara thanked her before reaching out for the mugs.

 

“How was the drive?” Sam asked as she gently bumped shoulders with Lena.

 

“It was alright.” Lena replied as she brought her cup up to her lips, not wanting to go into the details in front of everyone.

 

“Yeah the traffic wasn’t bad at all, it could’ve been a lot worse, especially this time of year.” Kara added as they all nodded along.

 

The six of them spent a little while catching up with one another, Eliza filled them all in on the small gossip about her coworkers, Lena explained a little about some projects that she was working on at L-Corp without giving too much away, Ruby told them all what she was currently doing in school and Sam filled everyone in on her new job and how she was settling in. All in all, everything was going well and Lena found herself extremely grateful that she had decided to come along instead of spending the evening cooped up inside her office with her face buried in her emails. They all ate dinner around the large dining room table that had been set up with beautiful red and gold themed plates and cutlery and then they all headed back into the living room where they found themselves trading stories back and forth about past Christmases.

 

“Kara was the absolute worst for peeking at presents, every single year I would catch her trying to get a glimpse of whatever we had gotten her, I had to get very creative with my hiding spots.” Eliza laughed as Kara smiled proudly.

 

“Don’t blame me! Alex used to bribe me to look at hers too!” Kara exclaimed as Alex scoffed loudly, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.

 

“I guess you have all of this to look forward to aunt Lena.” Ruby laughed before Sam cut her off with a loud shush, gaining the attention of everyone as all eyes fell on her.

 

“What does she mean?” Eliza asked, voice laced with confusion as she tried to work out what was going on and why the atmosphere had suddenly shifted.

 

“I think uh-.. I’m gonna go for a walk, please excuse me.” Lena rushed out as she stood up and headed for the hallway, ignoring Kara calling out her name as she closed the door behind her and stepped out into the cold.

 

Maybe it was silly of her to assume, but Lena had thought that Eliza was already aware of the situation. She couldn’t face sitting in the room with everyone whilst they explained to her what was going on, it had been almost three months and Lena herself was still trying to process everything. The wind blowing in from the sea was cold and Lena pulled the sleeves of her shirt down over her hands before she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to keep warm. Her feet sank into the sand ever so slightly as she walked, but it didn’t bother her too much. She just wanted some time to clear her head, and to give everyone else some time to fill Eliza in on everything that had happened. She would deal wit the results later on, if Eliza wanted her to leave then she would. If she was pissed at her for knowing Kara’s secret then she would assure her that it was safe with her, that she would never ever betray Kara’s trust like that.

 

Lena wasn’t sure how long she walked for, it wasn’t a super long time and she could still see the lights from the house glimmering away in the distance so she knew that she was still close enough to make her way back, but she found that she wasn’t quite ready yet. Opting instead to sit down on the sand and just listen to the waves rolling in as she allowed her thoughts to wander back to what Ruby had said.

 

It wasn’t her fault of course, she was just a kid and she had no idea that Eliza didn’t know about the situation either, but her comment had been true nonetheless. Lena would have a baby this time next year, she would be a mom and have another little life depending on her. For the next few years she would have a toddler running around causing chaos, she would have a little kid getting excited about Santa, she would have a little buddy to decorate a tree with and bake cookies. She had always dreamed about that, it’s just that it was real now, it was actually happening and it was overwhelming to say the very least.

 

Lena had been so caught up in her thoughts that when the sand crunched right beside her she jumped almost violently out of fear before her eyes fell on Eliza and sh let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Oh gosh sweetie, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” she rushed out as she took a seat beside Lena before she placed a blanket, Kara’s blanket, around her shoulders and made sure that Lena was warm enough before continuing. “So, I hear that you guys have some pretty big news that everyone decided to keep from me.”

 

“I’m so sorry Eliza, I thought that you already knew.” Lena spoke quietly as she watched the waves in the water.

 

“It wasn’t your responsibility to tell me sweetie, I have two girls of my own, both of whom should have told me by now.” Eliza assured her. “Kara just told me about everything though, and I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through all of this, I know that it must be an awful lot to take in. Not just with the baby, but with Kara too. I hope you know that she really wouldn’t ever mean to hurt you intentionally, she just spent an hour crying to me about how much she loves you and how badly she messed everything up. I know that things will take a little while, but I’m so glad that you’re here today and I want you to know that you can call me at any time, day or night, if you have any questions or concerns, or if you just need someone to vent to.”

 

“Thank you, Eliza.” Lena’s voice cracked ever so slightly and she cut herself off before she started crying.

 

“Anytime sweetheart, now come on, let’s get you back to the house before we both freeze.” she laughed as she pulled herself up and then helped Lena do the same.

 

By the time they arrived back at the house everyone was gone from the living room, it was late and Lena guessed that they must have gone to bed as she gratefully stepped back into the much welcomed warmth. Eliza wished her a goodnight and made sure that Lena knew that everything was going to be alright before she allowed Lena to head upstairs to Kara’s room.

 

“Hey, are you alright?” Kara jumped up the second Lena stepped into the room.

 

“Yeah, I’m okay I’m sorry about all of that.” Lena told her quietly. “I just got a little overwhelmed. Are you alright?”

 

“I’m good.” Kara assured her. “I actually.. Um.. I wanted to take you somewhere and show you something, but it’s totally okay if you don’t want to or if you’re too tired or whatever.” she rushed out at the end. “There’s no pressure or anything.”

 

“We can go wherever you want.” Lena told her softly. “Just let me grab a coat first, I won’t make that mistake twice.” she laughed as she pulled out a coat and scarf from her bag and put them on.

 

The two of them left the house as quietly as they could, closing the front door gently behind them before making their way down the street. It was a little past eleven and the streets were completely silent, the occasional sound of a car driving passed was the only thing that intruded on the quiet calm of the evening. Lena wasn’t sure how long they would be walking for or where they were headed, but for now she felt content to just walk along in silence with Kara by her side.

 

They walked for a little while down a few winding paths and took a few turns here and there. It was clear that wherever they were going was a place that Kara knew well. It wasn’t long before they approached a dead end down one of the winding paths and Lena looked over at Kara in slight confusion.

 

“Is it- um- do you mind if I fly us up?” she asked a little hesitantly. It was the first time that the subject of her being Supergirl had come up just between the two of them in a non argumentative way.

 

“Uh.. Yeah, I guess.” Lena told her a little nervously, wringing her hands together at the thought of having to fly.

 

“I won’t drop you, I promise that you’ll be safe.” Kara whispered as she stepped closer to Lena, waiting until Lena reached out to put her hands around Kara’s shoulders before Kara reached out for Lena’s waist. “Ready?” she whispered into her neck as Lena nodded softly and Kara took off from the ground.

 

It only took about ten seconds until Lena’s feet were on solid ground again, and when she felt brave enough to open her eyes she realized that they were atop a cliff looking over the entire little town. The sky was almost completely free of clouds and the stars could be seen twinkling above them.

 

“Wow.” Lena breathed out loud, mostly to herself although Kara completely agreed with her as the two of them headed for a bench near the middle and sat down on the cold metal.

 

“I used to come up here all the time as a kid.” Kara spoke up after a while. “It was so difficult to adjust to a whole new planet and learn how to control my powers and everything. At first I didn’t even want to try, I missed my family and I missed my life and I really just didn’t want to be here. I had all of these abilities that I didn’t want, and all I kept thinking was that if _only_  I could’ve had them on Krypton then I might have been able to save them. I was lost and scared and so confused, and it took a long time to get used to a life here but eventually I did. I met some amazing people, I have an amazing family.. and I have you, Lena. Finding out that my mom survived was.. It was incredible because I thought that she was gone, I thought that I would never hear her voice ever again, but when it came down to it I knew that I couldn’t stay there. My family is here, with all of you guys, and now.. We’ll now there’s a new little one that’s going to be joining us and I just want you to know that you’ll never have to do this alone. I’m here for you and for the baby, I’d love to be fully involved in everything but I know that you’re probably not ready for that, so just let me know whenever I can be there for you and I promise you that I will be. I love you and I’m so glad that you decided to come for Christmas.”

 

Lena listened intently the whole time that Kara spoke, reaching out halfway through to hold her hand in her own as she silently willed her to continue and let Kara know that she was here for her. Once she finished speaking Lena had no idea what to say or how to even begin replying to her. It felt as though she would burst into tears if she opened her mouth, so she simply squeezed Kara’s hand a little tighter until she felt like she could talk without crying.

 

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I hope you know that I would never ever keep you from the baby, it’s both of our child and they’re going to need both of us. You’re so incredibly kind and strong and selfless and our baby is going to grow up seeing that in you and hopefully take it in for themselves. If there was anyone in the universe that I would want in this situation with me, it’s you, Kara Danvers. I’m still working through the whole Supergirl thing, but I’m getting there.” Lena finished with another squeeze to her hand.

 

“I wouldn’t want to go through this with anyone else either.” Kara smiled softly. They were quiet for a few long moments, just taking in the view and enjoying one anothers company before Kara spoke up once again. “Would you mind if I maybe listened to their heartbeat? I usually check in on yours but  haven’t for a while, it just didn’t seem right when I knew that I would be able to hear the baby’s too. I can tap out the beat on your hand so that you can kinda listen too.”

 

Lena gave her a silent nod of confirmation as Kara’s finger began to tap softly on the top of her hand in a quick pattern _thump thump thump_ , and she glanced down at her watch to see the clock strike midnight.

 

“Merry Christmas, Kara.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Lena.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a great Christmas if you celebrate & happy new year when it comes <3333


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay guys im the worst i know

 

 

The rest of the holidays passed in a blur of twinkling fairy lights and Christmas movies with everyone at Eliza’s house. Lena had to admit that it was really what she had been needing given everything that had happened recently. It was incredibly nice to just get away from everything in the city for a while and not stress over things at work for a few days. It was great to spend so much time with Sam and Ruby, and despite her initial worries, Eliza had been nothing but extremely supportive of her and everything that was going on. Alex had kept a respectful distance at first but had quickly warmed up when she realized that Lena was doing alright with everything, given the circumstances.

 

Lena found that even though she had been on vacation, her body clock was still used to getting up at the crack of dawn and so she would quietly get up, careful not to wake Kara, and go sit downstairs on the couch in the living room until everyone else woke up a few hours later. After the second morning, Eliza came to join her and the two of them would sit together with a hot cup of tea each morning just talking back and forth about whatever was on their minds. Eliza gave Lena a ton of helpful tips and advice about different pregnancy things ranging from helping to keep her energy up throughout the day, to foods that would help with the morning sickness, to tips for getting a good nights sleep when her belly started getting in the way and absolutely everything else in between. Lena soaked it all in like a sponge, desperate to get as much information as she could from a motherly figure before going back home and being on her own once again, it wasn’t as though Lillian was going to be any help at all on that front, and it warmed her heart knowing that Eliza was there for her in a way that only another mother could be.

 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom since I found out about everything.” Lena admitted to Eliza one morning as she sat cradling a steaming hot cup of tea. “My birth mom, I mean. When there’s a lull in the day I find myself wondering if she felt the same way I do now. I wonder if she had morning sickness like mine, I think about all the nights she must have stayed awake looking at the ceiling when it was too hard for her to sleep. I wonder what plans she had for me and if she would be proud of the person I am today. It’s strange, I barely remember her but I’ve just been missing her so much these last few months. I wonder if she felt like I do.. I just feel so-..” Lena trailed off, unable to express her feelings.

 

“Scared senseless?” Eliza asked softly, although there was a hint of a laugh.

 

“Exactly.” Lena agreed with a smile.

 

“I think every single one of us feel that way, sweetie. No one is ever ready to become a parent, but we adapt and there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll adapt too.” Eliza assured her. “As for your mom, I know for a fact that she will be extremely proud of the woman that you have become. I know things are a little rough right now, but I couldn’t think of a single person better suited for Kara. You have such a big heart Lena, and your baby is going to be so incredibly loved.”

 

Lena found herself feeling more than a little choked up at Eliza’s response and instead of replying, she opted to bring her cup up to her lips and take a long sip of the tea that she had made earlier that morning.

 

The rest of their vacation passed by all too quickly, and before Lena knew it she was back into the flow of work as though she had never even been gone in the first place. She had to admit that it did feel good to get back into things, having a routine gave her a sense of security that she found comfort in, although she did make a conscious effort to try and not stay ridiculously late in the evenings. She found herself having to switch up her usual wardrobe ever so slightly, according to her app, the baby was currently the size of a plum but her body seemed to disagree. She had gone from not showing anything at all, to literally just waking up with a bump that was clearly noticeable if anyone got too close. It wasn’t so big that Lena couldn’t wear her normal clothes, but she did have to use a hair tie to fasten her work trousers instead of the usual button. The lack of coffee meant that she really needed to get a lot more sleep than she usually would if she wanted to be able to function properly at work and actually be able to focus on her work and what people were saying to her throughout the day, but the only issue was that she hadn’t really been sleeping at all since she had returned from Midvale. She wasn’t stupid, a little stubborn maybe, but Lena knew, even if she didn’t want to admit it to herself, that the reason she wasn’t sleeping was because she had gotten used to being with Kara for the week that they were gone.

 

It felt like old times, even though Lena knew that Kara was trying to be respectful and give her as much space as she physically could in the double bed. They didn’t fall asleep cuddled up together like they would have before, but just having Kara there, the knowledge that she wasn’t alone and the gentle sound of her breathing every few seconds was more than enough for Lena. She had slept throughout the entire night each night that they were in Midvale, and she had woken up every single morning with her head pillowed on Kara’s warm chest and an arm slung around her waist even though she hadn’t told anyone about it. Kara had been asleep the entire time, it wasn’t like it was intentional for the two of them to snuggle up together, so Lena thought it best to just slip out carefully each morning before Kara woke up, that way she didn’t have to deal with any potential awkwardness between them.

 

The only problem was that now she was back home, in the very penthouse that Lex had managed to break into, and she didn’t feel safe. Lena knew logically that the building was completely secure, but she missed the extra security that Kara provided. She had always felt safe with her, even before finding out about the whole Supergirl thing, although in hindsight it did make a lot of sense. Lena maybe hadn’t known who Kara was, but that didn’t mean Kara’s personality magically went away, and Supergirl was a large part of Kara. Long story short, Lena was feeling lonely in bed and craved the warmth and safety that only Kara could provide when the two of them cuddled up together.

 

It was another three restless nights before she finally broke. Thankfully Lena’s morning sickness was almost completely gone. There was still the occasional moment when it reared it’s head, but her body’s new reaction to her pregnancy was dizzy spells and extreme headaches, both of which were extremely inconvenient when she was trying to get anything work related done. She was able to get some sleep at night, but it never felt like enough. Her body never quite switched off enough to let her fall into a sleep that was enough to make her feel as though she had actually rested and by the third night Lena finally snapped.

 

She was so exhausted that when she was asked for her phone number during a business call earlier that day and she found herself unable to recall it, she had actually started to cry and found herself having to end the phone call abruptly to avoid the embarrassment that came with it. The dizzy spells were made worse by her lack of sleep and when the words that she was trying to read in her office from an extremely important document that required her full attention started merging together and moving around as though they were floating on water, she knew that enough was enough. Lena had to get a proper nights sleep or she was going to go insane. Plus, Kara had promised her that she would be there for whatever she needed, and a phone call just before midnight requesting for her to come lay in bed with her until she fell asleep counted too, right? It was in the best interest of the baby after all.

 

Lena picked up her phone from her nightstand and scrolled through to her contacts before hitting the call button on Kara’s name and bringing it up to her ear. She listened as it rang in her ear, once, twice, three times before Kara’s answering machine sounded through the speaker and Lena set it back down in defeat. She was probably busy with Supergirl duties, or maybe she was just asleep and hadn’t heard her phone ring, either way it looked like Lena was in for another restless night. She quickly typed out a text to Kara and set her phone back down on her nightstand before getting as comfortable as she could and attempting to get some rest even if her body wouldn’t completely shut down and let her sleep.

_Sorry to bother you. Don’t worry, everything is alright. I was just struggling to sleep and thought that I would give you a call. Sleep well. -L x_

__

Lena found that she had actually miraculously managed to fall asleep for a three whole blissful uninterrupted hours according to the clock on her nightstand. Unfortunately, the only reason she was currently aware of that was because she had been woken from said magical miraculous blissful sleep, and it took her a few moments to realize what was responsible for it. She had two missed calls from Kara on her phone from a few minutes ago and there was a distant knocking on the door of her apartment. It wasn’t hurried or violent, it was quiet and familiar, and Lena knew security would only let up a very small number of people at this time of night so she didn’t have any reason to be worried.

 

She quickly got up out of bed, wrapping her soft fluffy blanket around her to fight off the cold that her covers had previously been shielding her from before padding through her apartment to the door. If she was honest, Lena had been expecting Kara, but what she most definitely hadn’t been expecting was a teary eyed, blotchy red faced version of Kara who looked so heartbroken and distraught that Lena actually had to take a step back to compose herself before her brain could catch up with being so caught off guard at the sight before her.

 

“I-.. I’m sorry.. I didn’t.. know where else.. to go.” Kara hiccuped through the tears as her bloodshot eyes found Lena’s, silently pleading with her.

 

It seemed to be the kick that Lena was needing to unfreeze her body and regain control of her actions once again. She immediately reached out for Kara, guiding her into the apartment and over to the couch before sitting down beside her. Kara barely waited a second before she had collapsed into Lena’s arms, sobbing loudly into her chest as Lena wrapped the blanket around both of them and held her as tightly as she could. She had no idea what was going on, but she had never seen Kara like this in the few years that they had known each other and to be honest, it was frightening. Lena had comforted Kara before, had seen her upset and held her as she had cried, but she had never been like this. The Kara in her arms now seemed completely distraught and Lena was desperate to do whatever she could to comfort her, and for now it seemed like just holding her until Kara was all cried out was all that she could do for her.

 

She held Kara as tightly as she possibly could for as long as she could, but the now familiar pressure in her bladder that showed up every hour on the dot signaled that she was going to have to get up soon and use the bathroom. Lena held off for as long as she could, Kara had settled down significantly and after gently shushing and rubbing her hand across the expanse of her back for a while, Lena finally had to speak up and let Kara know that she would have to free her body from the kryptonian trap it was currently under.

 

“Hey.” Lena whispered quietly to get Kara’s attention. “I’m sorry but the baby.. I really need to use the bathroom.” she admitted, unsure whether or not she should laugh it off or not.

 

“Oh Rao.. I’m so sorry.” Kara croaked, removing herself from Lena immediately and allowing her to get up.

 

“It’s fine, I’ll just be a second okay?” Lena asked, wanting to reach out a hand and brush a stray tear from Kara’s cheek but deciding against it as she made her way to the bathroom.

 

When she returned a few minutes later Kara was still sitting right where Lena had left her in the exact same position on the couch, but it was immediately clear that her mind wasn’t in the room with her. Kara was staring blankly at a spot on the floor so intensely Lena was actually afraid that she might accidentally heat vision it and burn a hole into the ceiling of whichever poor soul lived beneath her in the building. Taking extra care not to startle her, Lena padded into the room and sat down on the couch before turning to face Kara fully, reaching a warm hand out and placing it on top of Kara’s own slightly colder one.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked softly as Kara turned to face her once again, she looked about two seconds away from bursting into tears once again, but Lena could tell she was trying to avoid doing just that. “Do you want a bottle of water or maybe some tea or something?”

 

“It’s Alex.” Kara croaked, and Lena’s heart immediately sank like a rock in her chest. “She’s okay.” Kara clarified upon seeing Lena’s reaction. “They just… They.. They wiped her memories of me being Supergirl so that she can't reveal my identity now that she's head of the DEO. Everything is gone Lena, everything from when we were kids, she won’t remember us sneaking out to fly at night or anything at all. Everything that made us.. _us_ is just gone and I can’t do anything about it. She doesn’t know about you or the baby, well she does but she just doesn’t know that it’s mine, I can’t-.. I can’t to this without her Lena.” Kara began to cry once again, although the tears were silent this time as her body shook. “I don’t know what to do. She’s my person! She’s who I go to when I need help, I wouldn’t have gotten through everything with us if it hadn’t been for her, and now I’ve lost you both.”

 

“Hey, you haven’t lost me. We’ve been over this, you will __never__  lose me, okay?” Lena scooted over on the couch to cup Kara’s cheeks with her hands, directing her attention up to her own face to make sure that Kara was listening. “I can’t promise that it’s going to be okay, but I can promise that I’ll be here for you, for whatever you need. I’m so sorry that things had to happen this way, but you’ll be alright. I know that you will, you’re one of the strongest people that I know.”

 

Kara didn’t reply right away, she simply reached up to take Lena’s hands from her face before bringing one up to her lips and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of it.

 

“Thank you.” she said eventually, her eyes looking down at Lena’s hand as she drew mindless patterns over the top of it. “I’m so sorry to have just barged in like this, I know that you have boundaries and I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“Honestly.. I called you earlier to ask if you would mind coming round because I couldn’t get to sleep on my own. I’m so exhausted but I just can’t seem to get a proper nights sleep by myself here after everything.” Lena admitted as her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. “I thought it would maybe help if you were here. So, if you want to stay tonight you’re more than welcome, but if you would rather be alone then you do whatever is best for you.” she offered, although she was unsure if Kara would maybe want to be left on her own and didn’t want to pressure her to stay.

 

“No, I don’t want to be on my own.” Kara admitted quietly. “I’d really like to stay here with you.”

 

“Okay, let’s go to bed then.” Lena stood up and reached out a hand for Kara before the two of them headed down the hall into her bedroom.

 

Lena had given Kara a pair of her old pajamas that had been left from before everything had happened, and she quickly sent off a text to Jess telling her to reschedule everything for tomorrow and that she wouldn’t be coming in before climbing under the covers and waiting for Kara to appear.

 

Lena fell asleep almost instantly whilst Kara lay awake, pushing herself up to sit upright against the headboard as she looked down at Lena. Kara had always loved watching Lena sleep, she always looked so relaxed and completely at ease. She was safe when she was asleep, none of the usual pressures of her life were weighing her down, and despite the painful ache in her chest that she felt after the events of the day, Kara allowed herself a small moment to just enjoy the sight of Lena laying beside her.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait i'm the worst blah blah all that stuff xx

 

_Lena breathed out an exhausted giggled at the almighty grunt their baby had let out as Kara had gently lifted the tiny little human from the warm of Lena’s chest despite the loud groan of protest. She beamed with pride as she gazed down into the tiny little face that she and Lena had created. From the little blonde hairs on the top of an almost entirely bald little head, to the ten perfect little toes currently curled up and peeking out of the bottom of the blanket. Kara was in love, and she had never felt so proud of anything in her entire life as she had of Lena the moment she had pushed their little one into the world, and Kara could barely contain her excitement about showing off their newest addition the second that they arrived home._

_As expected, Alex was the first one through the door, heading straight over to Lena who was settled onto the couch and still extremely sore from pushing a nine pound baby out of her body the day before. Alex congratulated Lena with a hug before Kara appeared in the doorway with the baby cradled closely to her chest, she spent a moment just watching her sister and Lena interact before making her way fully inside the room._

_Kara spent a good hour or so gushing to Alex about everything, about how proud she was of Lena, about how cute and perfect the little baby in her arms was, about absolutely everything, and she had truly never felt happier as she passed the baby over and aunt Alex got some well deserved snuggle time in before helping Lena up off the couch and into the bedroom so that she could get some proper rest before the baby had to eat again in an hour or so._

_“Is this the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen, or is the the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen?” Kara beamed proudly as she returned from the bedroom, sitting back down on the couch beside her sister and reaching over to allow the baby to wrap a tiny hand around her finger._

_“Why are you doing this?” Alex asked the moment Kara had sat down._

_“Doing what?” Kara asked, voice laced with confusion as she noted the drastic change in Alex’s tone from only moments before._

_“Why are you here playing mommy when this isn’t your kid.” She gestured to the baby currently sleeping soundly in her arms. “Supergirl should be here, not away sitting on her ass somewhere relying on you to pick up the slack. Did she even show up at the hospital for the birth? I didn’t think so. This kid deserves way more than her, but it’s not your responsibility to pick up the slack, Kara. You have a life of your own. You can’t just drop everything for some random kid that isn’t even yours and lose everything you’ve worked so hard to build.”_

_Kara wanted to scream, she wanted to correct Alex, she wanted to take the baby and run to Lena, she wanted to do a lot of things, but instead she was frozen, unable to speak or move or do anything other than allow the overwhelming panic to fill her up._

__

Kara shot up with a start, desperately gulping in deep breaths of air as she tried to prevent her racing heart from pounding out of her chest. She felt as though she couldn’t consume enough oxygen and was worried about losing control of herself until a small grunt from beside her startled her out of her thoughts and she turned her attention to the warm body currently laying in the bed with her, immediately tuning into her heartbeat. She allowed the slow and steady __thump, thump, thump__  of Lena’s heart to ground her as it had a million times before, and once she was sure that she was okay and in complete control of herself once again, Kara allowed herself to settle back against the headboard. She was exhausted, and according to the alarm clock over on Lena’s bedside table, she had only been asleep for a mere few hours, but she decided that it was easier to stay awake than to face going back to sleep and risk having another nightmare.

 

* * *

 

When Lena woke up the next morning the first thing that she registered was that she felt as close to her normal self as she had in a long time. She felt well rested, comfortable and familiar in her own bed. It was a feeling that she had taken for granted for a long time, but now she wanted to bask in it forever. She shifted over onto her back to stretch out her arms a little and her hand make contact with something soft but firm as she immediately jumped up into a sitting position.

 

“Sorry! Rao, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Kara rushed out as Lena pressed a hand to her chest and waited until her heart rate slowed to a normal speed once again.

 

“No, I’m sorry. I totally forgot you were here, I guess I’ve just been a little on edge recently.” Lena admitted before actually getting a good look at the woman sitting beside her. Kara was propped up against the headboard, eyes bloodshot and clearly struggling to stay open if the way they kept fluttering was any indication. “Hey, did you get any sleep at all last night?” she asked softly, memories of the night before suddenly coming back to her as she sat up a little more and turned her full attention to Kara. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone to sleep.”

 

“No, you needed to get some rest, you were exhausted, I’m glad that you slept.” Kara told her quietly, completely avoiding eye contact as she stared blankly at the wall at the bottom end of the room.

 

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to try and take your mind off of it?” Lena asked gently, unsure what the best approach to take would be given that she had never seen Kara _this_ upset in all the years that they had known one another.

 

“I had a nightmare.” Kara offered after a long moment, voice no louder than a whisper in the quiet of the room. Lena stayed silent, allowing her to continue at her own pace and not wanting to pressure Kara into talking about anything that she wasn’t ready to talk about. “It was about us and the baby, they were here and they were _beautiful,_ Lena. They were so perfect, and I couldn’t wait to introduce them to my family, but then Alex showed up and she..” Kara paused, clearly struggling with whatever was currently playing on her mind. “She got really mad and asked why I was playing mom to a kid that wasn’t even mine, she said Supergirl should have been there, and then I woke up, but it wasn’t.. It wasn’t the dream that bothered me, it’s that it’s _not_ a dream, it’s reality.” Kara’s voice began to break as she continued to talk, and Lena tentatively reached out a hand and interlocked it with one of Kara’s as she silently willed her to continue. “It killed me inside, keeping my real identity a secret from you, it killed me every single day, every time I saw you, and I know how badly it screwed everything up between the two of us but honestly, I don’t think that I would change it. If I could go back I would have told you a lot sooner, but I was glad that you finally knew even if you hated me, because it meant that the people on this earth who I love the most knew who I really was, and now.. Now Alex doesn’t know, I have to go back to hiding it from someone I love and now there’s everything with the baby and Alex won’t know that it’s __our__  kid, she thinks it’s yours and Supergirl’s and I just don’t know what do to.”

 

Kara was freely crying by the time she had finished talking and Lena acted on instinct when she wrapped an arm around her and gently guided Kara to rest her head on Lena’s shoulders before taking the hand that she had been holding in her own and guiding it down to lay it flat on the little bump that had appeared beneath her shirt not so long ago.

 

“I can feel it, you’re showing.” Kara breathed a wet laugh, smiling ever so slightly as she spread her hand out on Lena’s tummy before the smile disappeared and was replaced by a look of sheer pain. “This is the kind of stuff I wish that I could share with Alex.” she admitted quietly.

 

“I’m really sorry, Kara.” Lena told her softly.

 

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not your fault.” Kara replied almost instantly as she nuzzled her head in a little closer to Lena, seeking comfort in the warmth that her body provided.

 

“No, not for that.” Lena clarified, taking a deep breath before speaking once again. “I’m sorry for everything else. When you kept the whole Supergirl thing from me it hurt me so badly, but I was so caught up in my own thoughts and feelings that I didn’t even consider that you were hurting yourself too. It was selfish of me, and I’m really sorry that I caused you so much pain. I wish you had told me earlier, a lot earlier actually, but the past is in the past and we can only move forward from here, I just want you to know that I’m sorry about it all. I didn’t fully grasp it until just now, seeing how torn up you are about Alex, and if I caused you even a fraction of this pain then I really hope you know that it was never my intention.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize.” Kara told her sincerely, lifting her head from Lena’s shoulder so that she could look at her face. “I hurt you badly, plus you were dealing with all the hormones and shock from the pregnancy thing, I would never ever blame you. I was more pissed at myself for not coming clean to you sooner, but it’s not the same this time. I don’t have the option of telling Alex because it won’t make sense to her, all of the memories are gone, she doesn’t have all of the puzzle pieces to fit together.” Kara’s voice grew thick once again as she swallowed roughly against the overwhelming urge to cry rising in her throat.

 

“Would you like to go out today? We can drive out of the city and just have a quiet day, find a nice place to eat and explore the area, or we can stay here? I can order some food and we can make a dent in my Netflix list, I haven’t watched anything without you.” Lena admitted as her cheeks tinged the slightest shade of red.

 

“Both sound nice.” Kara smiled although it was still tinged with sadness and Lena’s chest ached to take it away from her, to do everything that she could to at least make her favorite person feel a little bit better even if it was only short term.

 

“Then we’ll do both.” Lena smiled as she pulled back the covers and slipped out of bed.

 

“Wait, don’t you have work?” Kara asked as she glanced at the clock on Lena’s bedside table and realized just how late Lena was. “You’re going to miss all of your morning meetings!”

 

“I took the day off, I called in last night.” Lena told her as she made her way to the closet to locate a towel. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower, help yourself to whatever you want for breakfast, there’s plenty of food in the kitchen.”

 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Kara told her gently as she finally slipped out of bed herself. “But thank you, it really means a lot to me.”

 

“What, the food?” Lena teased as she raised an eyebrow and a small smile appeared on Kara’s face.

 

“You know what I mean.” she grumbled in response before turning more serious. “But seriously, thank you.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me, you know I’m always here for you. No matter what.” Lena told her quietly before tearing her gaze away from Kara and heading into the bathroom before she ended up doing something super embarrassing like tearing up or just full blown crying.

 

It took just over an hour for the two of them to shower, eat and then get ready to actually leave the penthouse. Lena couldn’t actually remember the last time that she had walked down the hallway of her apartment building in shoes that didn’t clack loudly on the floor each time that she took a step, she hadn’t gone anywhere other than work for the last month or so and it was an incredibly nice change to be wearing comfortable jeans, the zip of which Lena was unable to get up so instead opted to just loop a hair tie around the button and pray that they would stay up that way, and her favorite sneakers as she walked alongside Kara.

 

They headed down into the parking garage where Lena’s car was waiting for them and she immediately climbed into the driver’s seat, letting Kara get settled before they took off down the road. It felt like old times, although there was an air of sadness hanging over Kara despite how hard she was clearly trying to hide it, Lena hoped that by the end of the day at least a little of her smile would be sincere.

 

They drove in comfortable silence as the radio played in the background. They were queued up in traffic for a while until they made it out of the city and onto a long stretch of road. The view opened up almost immediately when all of the skyscrapers disappeared and Lena could feel the tension bleeding out of both Kara and herself as they took in the beaming blue sky and almost entirely empty stretch of road in front of them. Lena continued to drive for a while with no real destination in mind, she just wanted to enjoy the peaceful feeling of not having any responsibility looming over them for the little amount of time that they had away from everything. It wasn’t until she felt her bladder begin to fill yet again that she actually paid attention to where they were.

 

“Hey, would you mind getting maps up on your phone and finding the nearest town? I need to use the restroom.” Lena spoke up for the first time in a while as Kara tore her gaze away from the scenery before them and returned her focus to the car.

 

“Oh, shoot, sorry! You could have told me earlier, we didn’t have to keep driving for this long.” Kara rambled as she pulled up directions on her phone to the nearest town. Thankfully, it was only ten minutes from where they currently were and Lena started the drive immediately.

 

They pulled off the long stretch of road and arrived in a large town two hours or so out of the city. The streets were busy with people although nothing like the business of the city during lunch hour. Lena found a space outside a little block of restaurants and immediately pulled up in one before the two of them got out and headed into the nearest little cafe.

 

Kara took Lena’s coat from her and found them a quiet table in the corner near the window as Lena rushed off to use the bathroom. When she returned to the table Kara was clearly lost in thought, staring blankly down at the drink in her hands and it didn’t take a genius to guess what was most likely on her mind.

 

“Hey.” Lena spoke up as she got closer to the table, not wanting to startle Kara.

 

“Oh hey.” Kara smiled as she gestured to the cups on the table. “I ordered you a coffee, it’s caffeine free but the guy behind the counter swears it tastes exactly the same.”

 

Lena thanked her with a smile before putting out the chair opposite Kara and sitting down. It wasn’t overly cold outside but the warmth from the mug still felt nice on her hands as she cradled the coffee between them.

 

“How are you feeling?” Kara asked as she set her mug of hot chocolate back down on the table after taking a sip.

 

“I think I should be asking you that.” Lena breathed a laugh before turning serious once more. “I’m okay though, we don’t have to talk about anything today if you don’t want to. It can just be the two of us, just Kara and Lena and nothing else, no other responsibilities.”

 

“That sounds nice.” Kara nodded before blowing out a breath. “I want to just forget about everything for a while if that’s okay with you too.” she reached out a hand over the table.

 

“It’s okay with me.” Lena replied after a few seconds, slowly reaching out and placing her hand on top of Kara’s.

 

They two of them ordered a few pastries each to go with their drinks before they finished up and left the little cafe. Kara suggested going for a walk around the town to see if they came across anything exciting and Lena was more than happy to go along with whatever Kara wanted to do. It felt normal in a way that Lena hadn’t experienced in a while. It was just the two of them wandering around an unfamiliar place, pointing out exciting things to one another as they walked. Kara stopped to pet every single dog that passed by them on the street and Lena dragged Kara into every single shop that looked like it might potentially sell books. It wasn’t until they rounded the corner and Lena’s eyes fell on a bright neon sign that Lena knew how she would be spending the next hour or so of her life. Kara’s eyes lit up immediately as she turned to face Lena, her question already answered before she had even asked it.

 

The second that Lena stepped into the bowling alley she felt as though she had been thrown back in time. The lights were dimmed and the walls were covered in different but equally bright neon flashing signs. There was pop music playing over the speakers and the echoes of pins being knocked over sounded every few seconds as they approached the reception desk and paid for three games.

 

After ordering them each a can of soda and a large cheese nacho platter to share and a quick trip to the bathroom for Lena, they headed over to their assigned lane and she began to set up the screen, typing in each of their names before turning her attention back to Kara who had already eaten almost half of the nachos.

 

“This is the lightest ball.” Kara smiled as she passed over a light green ball to Lena. “I checked Google when you were in the bathroom and it’s fine for you to bowl, but it said to choose the lightest ball so that it doesn’t put any strain on your back.”

 

Lena was taken aback by the simple gesture, and she turned her diverted her attention to her can of soda on the table, picking it up to take a sip so that she could avoid talking for a second.

 

“Thank you.” she replied with a soft smile after she was sure that her body wouldn’t betray her and make her start crying right there in the middle of the bowling alley.

 

“Your welcome. I’m up first.” Kara beamed the first sincere smile that Lena had seen all day before picking up one of the heavier balls and stepping up to take her shot.

 

The two of them spent the best part of an hour taking turns knocking the pins down, Lena couldn’t tell if Kara was letting her win at first or not, but before long neither of them were even paying any attention to the numbers on the screen above their heads. When their last game ended the two of them left the bowling alley feeling a lot lighter than they had. It was a nice break from everything, it felt as though time had stopped for a little while and from the relaxed look on Kara’s face it seemed as though she felt the same way.

 

The drive back to the city was a lot different from the one that they had taken earlier that day, Kara seemed a lot happier and Lena felt more at ease being around her than she had been the last few weeks. It was a little quicker too given the fact that it was getting late and the worst of the work traffic had already cleared from the roads. It wasn’t until they got into familiar streets and surroundings that Kara seemed to shift once again, she turned in on herself and it took Lena a moment to figure out why.

 

“Hey, we don’t have to go back to reality just yet. You can come stay at my place again if you want to.” she offered and Kara seemed to immediately relax, the tension bleeding from her shoulders as she nodded in response. “I believe you promised me a night of catching up on my Netflix list anyway.”

 

Lena passed out later that night curled up into Kara’s side after making it through half of their second movie of the night. Taking extra care not to wake her, Kara gently pulled the blanket from over the side of the couch and wrapped it around Lena so that she wouldn’t get cold, adjusting herself just a little to rest Lena’s head on her lap instead of on her shoulder where she risked waking up with a sore neck before turning her attention back to the movie playing on the screen.

 

She may have a lot of things going on, her heart may be completely broken when it came to her sister, but Kara had Lena here with her right now, and despite what she had believed when she had shown up at Lena’s door in tears less than 24 hours ago, she knew with almost overwhelming clarity that she was going to be alright. She would get through this, and she would do everything in her power to be by Lena’s side so that she knew she wasn’t in any of this alone either.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

 

By the time her next appointment came around Lena was feeling understandably anxious. It should be the first appointment where Kara accompanies her, but Lena wasn’t sure whether or not she should bring it up seeing as how she desperately wanted to avoid upsetting Kara. Logically she knew that she would have to let her know eventually but she wanted to put it off for as long as she could, and on top of it all she was completely swamped at work in the middle of planning L-Corp’s yearly children’s hospital fundraiser gala that just so happened to fall on the same date that her OB GYN appointment was booked for. When it came to the less important galas and such Lena was more than content to allow her staff to plan the majority of it, but the yearly fundraiser for the hospital was close to her heart and she planned it almost entirely on her own every single year, although the nerves were piling on this year with the knowledge of it being her first real public appearance since she had become pregnant and she definitely wasn’t ready to let the rest of the world know yet, and so she was currently planning the gala, running through outfits in her head that would help hide her bump and continuously worrying about how Kara would react to the news of her upcoming OB GYN appointment.

 

The issue wasn’t that Lena didn’t think that Kara would care, it was the complete opposite in fact, she knew that it would make Kara so incredibly happy and proud and excited and that she would want to share it with the world, but she wouldn’t be able to tell her own sister, and Lena could only imagine how that must feel. Each little milestone was bittersweet for Kara and Lena wasn’t sure how to fix it, if she was being honest there didn’t seem to be a way that she actually could fix the whole thing despite how many different ways she was trying to come up with in her head.

 

Lena hadn’t intended for them to slip back into old habits so easily, in fact she hadn’t actually realized that it had happened at all. It started subtly over the last few weeks, Kara would check in with her, ask if she was craving anything or if there was anything that she could do for her, and Lena would do the same in return. She would text to check in with Kara and make sure that she hadn’t had too much of a rough day being Supergirl for hours upon hours at the DEO with Alex, she would ask about any new assignments that Kara had been given at Catco and more often than not, it ended with one of them at the others apartment less than half an hour after the first text had been sent.

 

Lena had forgotten what it felt like to get real, uninterrupted sleep until Kara had spent the night and now she was stealing every chance that she could get to cuddle up with her and get some proper rest. She convinced herself that it was simply for the good of the baby, she wouldn’t be much good to their child if she was exhausted and unable to properly take care of herself, but Kara didn’t seem to mind at all, in fact she seemed to enjoy it just as much if not even more than Lena did, and so Lena stopped coming up with excuses for wanting to cuddle with her and instead would just simply wait until Kara was settled, whether it was in either one of their beds or on the couch during a movie or after dinner. Kara would extend a silent arm out and Lena would immediately shuffle over to lay her head on her chest, more than happy to doze off to the feeling of Kara either lightly scratching at her scalp or drawing soft patterns over her little bump.

 

All in all, Lena was starting to feel an awful lot better about her pregnancy and she knew in the back of her mind that it had nothing to do with leaving her first trimester behind and everything to do with actually having the comfort and security of Kara Danvers physically by her side during all of it. It was that knowledge that finally fueled her enough to let Kara know about their upcoming appointment. In the end she wound up telling Kara about it a few nights before as the two of them lay in bed. Kara was almost in tears after Lena voiced her concerns about telling her about the appointment for fear of upsetting her, but it seems like she had ended up making her cry anyway.

 

“God, I’m sorry.” Kara had breathed a laugh as she wiped away a stray tear that had rolled down her temple but stopped just before her hairline. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to hold something like that back from me.” she had said to Lena as she pulled her closer. “It’s a lot to take in and process all at once but it doesn’t mean that you have to worry about sparing my feelings.”

 

Lena hadn’t realized how much of a toll the whole thing had been taking on her, she had been overly worried about hurting Kara’s feelings when she brought up the appointment but seeing how much happiness and joy she had despite the circumstances was a huge relief to her and she made a mental note not to hold anything like that back from her again.

 

* * *

 

Lena could feel the nervous energy radiating from Kara in strong waves as they approached the OB GYN’s building side by side a few days later. She had already been here on her own so she knew exactly what she was walking into, but this was all entirely brand new for Kara and Lena knew that even though she was nervous, she was also excited. She was excited herself, although it didn’t cancel out the almost crippling anxiety that she also felt whenever she thought about the small, but not completely unrealistic chance that something could have gone wrong between now and her last appointment.

 

Her mind was a mess of worrying about the baby, wanting to know that everything was normal with the size and length, she was fighting guilt about probably not getting enough sleep and wondering if it was having any major affect on her, wanting to make sure that the heartbeat was strong, but also just being incredibly excited to actually see their baby with Kara for the first time. Kara had seen photos from the last scan, Lena had given them to her but she hadn’t experienced actually seeing the baby wriggle around on the screen in real time and Lena knew that it wasn’t a feeling she would ever be able to describe with words. Her first appointment at the DEO, if you could even call it that, had been a complete shock followed by a total disaster that had taken months to start to heal from, her second appointment and her first proper one with the OB GYN had been terrifying and Lena had done it all on her own, and now with her third she finally had Kara with her, and she couldn’t help but feel as though things were finally heading down the path to where they should be going.

 

The whole check in process was pretty much identical to the last time that Lena had been there. She signed in at the front desk, confirming her appointment time and leaving her signature at the bottom of the sheet of paper that she had been given before being ushered through into the same waiting room that she had waited in the last time. Lena could feel the nervous energy radiating from Kara in strong pulses as they each chose a seat to sit down in.

 

Kara’s knee was bouncing restlessly and she was fidgeting with her fingers in her lap as she gnawed at her bottom lip with her teeth and Lena couldn’t help but feel the exact same way internally even if she appeared almost completely calm on the exterior, her only giveaway was the way that she almost constantly rubbed her palms up and down on her pant legs in an attempt to dry them of the sweat that kept gathering on them.

 

Lena found herself completely lost in her thoughts, a million different things were running through her hear, so much so that she completely missed the friendly looking nurse who called her name. Not coming back to reality until she felt Kara’s warm hand slip into her own, concerned eyes silently asking if Lena was alright.

 

“Sorry..” she trailed off as she got up out of her seat and headed into the hallway where the nurse had come from, still holding on tightly to Kara’s hand in an attempt to keep herself anchored to the present.

 

Again, the process was almost identical to the last time, although for Lena it couldn’t have been more different. She didn’t feel the burden of doing it all on her own this time, she wasn’t scared out of her mind without anyone to simply hold her and tell her that it’s all going to be okay. She had Kara with her, offering support both mentally and physically.

 

She held onto Kara’s hand as hard as she could as she shuffled herself down on the bed at the nurses instruction. The paper cover crinkled beneath her as she got settled before using her free hand to lift up her shirt and wriggle her pants down just a little. Lena heard more than saw Kara gulp heavily as her eyes fell on her bump, significantly more noticeable when it wasn’t covered up by a loose fitting t shirt or a pair of high waisted work pants, and Lena realized that it was the first time Kara was actually seeing it for herself and she squeezed her hand a little, offering some silent support and making a mental note to include Kara a little more in all of the changes with her belly as the nurse continued on with her examination of Lena.

 

Before either one of them knew it, the lights were dimmed and their baby was up on the screen in front of them. Lena had tears streaming down her temples into her hairline and she couldn’t seem to form any words as she kept her eyes glued to the screen. She couldn’t believe the difference from the last time that she had been here, the baby actually resembled a tiny little baby with tiny little arms and tiny little legs instead of the little black bean shape that she had seen the last time and her heart was soaring.

 

Kara didn’t appear to be holding up any better, her hand was still firmly in Lena’s, but her free hand was wiping away a seemingly never ending flow of tears as she sniffled loudly and watched the baby wriggle around.

 

“Everything seems absolutely perfect, the length and everything is exactly what it should be and you’re more than healthy.” the nurse told Lena with a smile as she began printing off a couple of strips of the scan photos for the two of them to take home with them.

 

* * *

 

“That was amazing!” Kara burst out the second that the two of them were back in her car and out of earshot of anyone who may have overheard them outside. “God, did you see those tiny little hands? And feet?! We’re going to have the cutest kid ever, I know it!” she smiled excitedly as she flicked through the roll of photos that they had been given before setting them down and turning to face Lena. “Thank you for letting me be a part of that, I think it’s up there with one of my favorite memories ever.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Lena smiled from the passengers seat as she clicked her seat belt into place. “Are you telling me you have a memory better that that?” she teased with a grin, barely able to keep her own smile off her face as she thought back to the little baby on the screen.

 

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Kara told her before seemingly realizing that she had just said that out loud, attempting to backtrack so that Lena wouldn’t get the wrong idea and think that she didn’t care about the amazing experience that the two of them had just shared.

 

“Do tell.” Lena told her with a subtle eyebrow raise and Kara realized that she wasn’t getting herself out of this one. She took a deep breath before beginning.

 

“Fourth of July a few years ago, we were all at Eliza’s place for the weekend.”

 

“I remember, I got sunburn on my shoulders on the last day and I could barely sit still in the car on the drive back home the next morning.” Lena laughed as she waited for Kara to continue.

 

“I think we’d all had a little too much to drink that afternoon, but my body sobers up a little faster and I didn’t want a headache the next morning so I switched to soda around dinner time, I tried to convince you guys to do the same but it was like telling a kid to put down a chocolate bar after only having eaten half of it.” Kara breathed a laugh before continuing. “Anyway Eliza sent me down to the beach to get a fire going whilst the rest of them got stuff ready for s’mores.”

 

“Yeah, no one trusts you to handle the food.” Lena laughed before falling silent once again.

 

“Exactly, so I went down to the beach and you insisted on coming with me even though it was pitch dark and you couldn’t see a thing, you just kept yelling at me to not let go of your hand and lead the way.” Lena stayed silent as Kara continued, knowing exactly where the conversation was headed. She hadn’t forgotten about the story, but she had never shared it with anyone other than her own mind and she could feel the tight grip on anxiety in her chest. “We got the fire started and a group down by the other end of the beach started setting off their own fireworks and-”

 

“and I kissed you.” Lena cut Kara off, finishing the sentence for her. “I kissed you and you put your arms around my waist and when I pulled back you laughed and told me that it wasn’t New Year’s Eve, and then I kissed you again.”

 

“Yeah.” Kara whispered quietly. “Yeah you did.”

 

This was uncharted territory for the two of them, and it was clear in the way the tension hung over them in the car. They had done things over the last few years that most definitely crossed the line between friends and something more, drunken kisses in the bathroom when they were both buzzed from the adrenaline of loud party music and dancing all night, fingers intertwined when they would go for long, lazy summer strolls in the park that turned into snuggling up in bed together in a not entirely platonic way. Sometimes Kara would absentmindedly kiss Lena on the forehead before heading off to work in the morning if they had spent the previous night together. They were friends, and they had never spoken about any of it. Friends, but always just a little more when no one else was looking.

 

That fourth of July weekend had been the first time it happened. Kara had taken Lena to meet Eliza for the very first time and Lena had never felt so at home with a group of people in her entire life. They were more than just welcoming to her, she felt as though she was actually _wanted_ instead of just tolerated and Lena had been desperately pushing down the voice screaming in the back of her head that this was the family that she wanted for the rest of her life. She wanted holidays with Eliza and Alex and Kara by her side, she wanted to wake up all cramped in Kara’s little double bed in her room in Midvale and she wanted to laugh with Eliza over coffee whilst Kara scarfed down an almost alarming amount of scrambled egg and Alex loudly voiced her disgust in between mouthfuls of cereal.

 

The voice in her head had grown louder the more that Lena had drank throughout the day, and before she knew it she had found herself alone with Kara and away from the house. The beach was dark and whilst she was tipsy, she was sober enough to know what she was doing, she was still perfectly in control of her actions and she couldn’t blame it on the alcohol even if she wished that she could have. She had kissed Kara, and Kara had kissed her back, and then everyone else had piled out of the house and down to the beach.

 

Kara and Lena had shared a blanket by the fire for a few hours, eating s’mores and watching the rest of the fireworks before they had all headed back to the house to get some sleep, and it was never brought up again. It hadn’t even been awkward, Lena had woken up with her head on Kara’s chest just as she had every other morning that they had been there, they had gotten up, taken it in turns to shower and then they had headed down to breakfast and that was that. Until it happened again, and again, and then another few times. If she was being honest, Lena was relieved that they hadn’t discussed it. Talking meant that it was serious and that it was real and she just hadn’t been ready for anything to change yet.

 

Although, it seemed ironic now given the circumstances.

 

“So yeah, I think that’s my favourite memory.” Kara spoke quietly, it felt as though if either of them dared to speak any louder then the fragile bubble around them would burst. “It was the first time I ever let myself believe that maybe my feelings weren’t entirely one sided. I think I knew even back then that we had something special, but I was too afraid that I would lose you before we even got started if I told you about Supergirl and so I just.. didn’t. But then it kept happening, and I didn’t want it to stop, and before I knew it we were basically spending all of our time together and I blinked and you were pregnant and I knew straight away that I had left it too long. It was too late and.. Well you know what happened.” Kara let out a breath at the heavy turn the conversation had taken. “I just love you so much and today will go down as one of my favorite memories because it was the day I realized that the two of us are moving forward despite everything.”

 

 

“You know what’s ironic? I didn’t want to talk about it with you because then it would have been real, I didn’t ever do anything beyond kissing you, regardless of how badly I wanted to, because I was too scared that I wouldn’t be able to go back once we had taken that step. I didn’t realize that I was already in love with you and couldn’t have gone back even if I had tried, that came after. When I found out about everything.” Lena admitted quietly. “We didn’t even have sex and yet you _still_ managed to get me pregnant.” she laughed in an attempt to lighten the weight of the air surrounding them.

 

The two of them stayed quiet for a moment, just allowing the conversation to sink in. It had been a long time coming and if someone were to have had told Lena six months ago that she and Kara were going to speak about everything and that she _wouldn’t_ have a panic attack and run away during it then she would have probably laughed right in their face. Now, however, she didn’t feel anxious. She felt sort of brave, and weirdly happy.

 

“I was in love with you too, for the record.” Kara told her after a long moment. “I still am, actually, but I know that you still don’t trust me entirely which is completely understandable. You have to adjust to having both me and Supergirl in your life as just the one person. I guess what I’m trying to say, or rather ask is..” Kara stumbled over her words and Lena stayed silent to allow her the time to sort through her thoughts. “Are you.. I mean.. Is this something that you want? Or have I blown that completely? I get it if I have, believe me I totally understand and if all you need is a friend and a co parent from me than I can absolutely be that for you, but if you want to give this a go then I’m all in on that one too. I’m not asking for us jump right back in where we were, but I’m asking for a chance to do this properly. To start from the beginning and let you get to know Kara Zor-El.”

 

Silence took over the car once again as Kara finished talking and Lena attempted to calm her rising anxiety. She hadn’t meant to be quiet for as long as she had been, and she snapped out of it when Kara awkwardly cleared her throat and made to put her key in the ignition, clearly taking Lena’s silence as a rejection. Lena instinctively reached out to grab her hand and stop her from driving away just yet, and Kara immediately turned to face her with a clear question in the expression on her face.

 

“I’m in.” Lena whispered quietly.

 

“W- What?” Kara asked, voice laced with shock as she stared at Lena in sheer disbelief.

 

“I’m in.” Lena nodded in confirmation. “One step at a time, but I’m in. I love you, and we owe it to ourselves to at least give this a try. It’s not like the feelings aren’t there or anything. We just need to learn how to navigate this whole thing”

 

A smile broke out on Kara’s face so wide that it almost looked as though it hurt as she brought Lena’s hand up to her mouth and placed a gentle kiss on the top of it.

 

“Thank you.” Kara beamed as Lena leaned over between the central console and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

 

“Thank __you.__ ” Lena smiled. “So.. Any interest in accompanying me to the gala tonight? You can help keep me hide this little one and keep me busy enough that no one will get a close enough look.” Lena asked as she placed a hand over her bump. “I kind of already have a suit ready for you, I was planning on asking you sooner but I wasn’t sure that you would feel up to it after this afternoon.

 

“It would be my absolute pleasure, miss Luthor.” Kara smiled yet again as she placed another kiss on Lena’s hand.

 

* * *

 

Lena took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her rapidly rising anxiety as her car pulled up to a stop just outside of the event. Camera flashes were going off in all directions and despite trying to map out every possible way to potentially get into the building without having to walk the carpet, Lena eventually accepted that she would have to brave the lights. She was wearing a loose fitted lilac dress with silver stilettos and a gigantic matching purse. Her hair was pinned from one side of her head, and draped over her shoulder in soft curls at the other side. Kara’s hair was intricately braided and she had worn the beautiful gray fitted suit and matching lilac shirt that Lena’d had made for her. She knew from her reflection in the mirror earlier that her bump was entirely hidden, but there was still that little seed of doubt creeping into her mind that someone might notice and she would be forced to share something so private with the entire world.

 

Kara squeezed her hand gently in the backseat, gaining her attention as Lena’s mind left the fog of her thoughts and turned to face her.

 

“You look beautiful.” Kara smiled gently. “No one is going to notice a thing, I promise.” she assured her before sliding along closer to the door and stepping out after a quick nod from Lena.

 

Lena could hear the roar of voices and repeated shutters and clicks from the cameras all around them the second that the door had opened, she reminded herself to breathe as she slide along the seat and took Kara’s outstretched hand, allowing her to help her out of the car and gain her balance in her heels.

 

As the two of them headed towards the carpet hand in hand, Lena silently wished that she had been able to wear sneakers, or maybe even just flats. Her feet were already aching and her whole body felt exhausted, but she wouldn’t have missed this gala for the world. The two of them spent a few moments smiling in all directions for the cameras, Lena kept her purse clutched to her belly the whole time just in case the wind were to blow and tighten her dress around her or something, before they finally made it inside and away from the cameras.

 

“Sam and Alex should be around here somewhere.” Lena told Kara as the two of them made their way towards the large ballroom where everything was set up. “I’m gonna go jump to the bathroom quickly before I go in, hopefully people won’t notice me rushing off if I go before they know I’ve arrived.” she smiled.

 

“Okay, I’ll go grab us some drinks and meet you in there.” Kara told her as she let go of her hand, pressing a quick kiss to Lena’s forehead before slipping into the ballroom and leaving Lena to make her way to the bathroom just across the hall.

 

Kara spotted Alex and Sam almost immediately and they waved her over.

 

“Hey, where’s Lena?” Sam asked as she pulled Kara in for a hug.

 

“Bathroom, I told her I’d get us drinks and then meet her in here.” Kara told them both as they all headed to the open bar. “I’ll take two champagnes please.” Kara smiled at the bartender before Alex cleared her throat and elbowed Kara in the ribs. “Ow! Wha-” she trailed off as she turned to glare at Alex.

 

“Lena can’t drink dummy.” Sam whispered in Kara’s ear as Alex continued to glare.

 

“Oh, Oh!” Kara exclaimed as it finally clicked in her head before she turned to the bartender once more. “Actually scrap that! I’ll just take two sodas if you have them please.” she smiled politely.

 

Drinks in hand, the three of them headed over to one of the reserved tables in the corner, Kara slipped her suit jacket off and placed it on the back of Lena’s chair so that everyone else would know that the seat wasn’t available.

 

Completely unbeknownst to Kara and everyone else at the gala, Lena was currently unconscious after having been smacked in the back of the head and knocked out whilst she was drying her hands in the bathroom. The last thing that she had registered was the sensation of her body being dragged and warm liquid dripping down the back of her neck before her vision went completely fuzzy and she was engulfed in darkness before she had even had a chance to call out for help.

 

* * *

 

Lena had no idea how much time had gone by when she finally began to regain consciousness. Her whole body ached and everything felt heightened. Every little noise caused her ears to ring painfully, and she couldn’t open her eyes due to the intensity of the light shining on her face.

 

“Well, well, well.” a familiar voice filled the room and unleashed pure evil into the atmosphere. Lena knew straight away that this was not good, not good, not good. The panic was beginning to set in now that she was coming back to herself, and she instinctively moved her hand to cradle her bump, only to realize with a groan of pain that her arms were tied down at her sides and she was unable to move.

 

“What’s the matter baby sis? Not so big and mighty without that disgrace of a Kryptonian by your side, huh? I believe congratulations are in order.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRRYYYY


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost 2am i haven't read over any of this i'm not entirely sure it's even in english but here we are, enjoy xx

 

 

The music was loud as it reverberated throughout the ballroom from the large speakers strategically placed around the room and the disco lighting made it difficult to make out details about anyone unless they were standing right next to you, which only added to her frustration as Kara glanced around the room in search of Lena. She was getting a little concerned that she still hadn’t returned from the bathroom given that it had been almost fifteen minutes, although she didn’t want to invade her privacy by hunting her down. The sheer volume of music and the way it seemed to crawl it’s way into Kara’s chest and beat alongside her heart made it too difficult for her to tune into Lena’s heartbeat and after waiting a few more minutes and nervously stuffing as many potstickers into her mouth as she possible could, Kara decided that she should probably go and make sure that Lena was alright. God forbid she had gotten sick or something and couldn’t call for help in case people figured out who was in the stall.

 

Kara pulled out her phone as she made her way out of the ballroom, flashing a smile and a little wave at Alex and Sam on the dance floor before quickly scrolling her way over to Lena’s contact information, hitting the call button and bringing it up to her ear. Now that she was out of the ballroom Kara could actually hear herself think and she was able to tune her hearing into the bathroom where she picked up the faint but familiar sound of Lena’s phone buzzing.

 

Kara immediately crossed the hall and headed for the door to the bathroom as she followed the sound, although the second that the door swung open she was completely frozen in her tracks. The sound of her own phone clattering to the ground and smashing on the expensive tile sounded throughout the bathroom but Kara was already too far gone to even register it as she took in the sight before her and tried to process what was going on.

 

Lena’s purse was laying on the floor just below one of the large white marble sinks, splattered with a little blood although the harsh contrast of the red make it look a lot worse than it would have if she was thinking rationally, but she wasn’t. Kara was in a complete panic and she knew straight away in her gut that someone had taken Lena, there was no doubt in her mind and she cursed herself for letting Lena go to the bathroom alone.

 

“No, no, no, no, no!” Kara called out to herself in a panic as she frantically kicked down the doors of the stalls that were in the bathroom double checking and praying that maybe she had just overreacted after all and Lena had a nosebleed or something and had run into one of the stalls, but every single one of them came up empty with absolutely no sign of Lena anywhere.

 

She felt dizzy and the rush of adrenaline pumping through her body barely gave her a moment to prepare before she was bent over one of the toilets and emptying the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Kara tried with every fibre of her being to pick up Lena’s heartbeat but she couldn’t find it, she couldn’t hear it, but she refused to think the worst even though her heart felt as though it was being prodded all over with an extremely sharp knife. Kara was going to find her, she had to find her.

 

“This is Supergirl, Lena Luthor has been kidnapped and I need all hands on deck to find her.” Kara yelled frantically into her earpiece after she dug it out of her pocket. “I repeat, Lena Luthor has been taken and there’s blood and I need to find her!”

 

Not wasting another moment, not even bothering to change out of her normal clothes and into her suit, Kara took off into the sky and headed towards the DEO where she knew Alex would most likely be heading after receiving the news. It wasn’t until she had the building in her sight that she realized that she couldn’t fly in there as Kara, not without Alex asking a billion different questions, and if she went in as Supergirl then she would have no real reason to be absolutely distraught about Lena Luthor being taken.

 

Kara felt as though she had been punched in the gut as the air was ripped from her lungs at the startling realization. She had no one. Lena had been taken, and she was out there bleeding somewhere, probably in the hands of Lex and Kara couldn’t help her, she couldn’t even help Alex to help find her. She couldn’t breathe and the weight of the air suddenly felt too much for her to handle. She didn’t know how much time had passed but it felt like hours without Lena by her side and safe.

 

“God, I don’t know what to do Lena. Please just hang on, please.” Kara cried as she hovered in the air just above the DEO. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna get you don’t worry! I’ll find you! Just hold on!” She pleaded with the wind, hoping that somehow it would carry her words to Lena.

 

She spent a few long minutes considering her options before eventually coming to the conclusion that she wouldn’t be able to help Lena as Kara Danvers right now. She quickly changed into her suit, taking a few deep calming breaths in an attempt to appear no less startled than Supergirl should be given the situation, and then headed down and into the DEO where agents were already on the move, calling orders out at one another and gearing up for what looked like a raid.

 

“Supergirl! Good, you’re here!” Alex called out, still wearing her outfit from the gala as she wired herself up with a headset, but no longer the same woman. The woman standing before her now was Director Danvers, head of the DEO, and Kara knew that if anyone was going to find Lena then it would be her.

 

“I was under the impression that Lex had fled the country and was no longer an immediate thread to Lena?” Kara stated more than asked as she desperately willed her voice to stay steady despite the fact that she wanted nothing more than to curl up on the ground and sob until she got Lena back.

 

“We’ve been monitoring Lex Luthor’s movements closely since he escaped and-” Alex began before Kara cut her off, unable to keep her calm any longer.

 

“So you knew he was back? You knew and no one told me?!” she began to raise her voice in frustration. “You-..”

 

“It wasn’t your assigned mission, Supergirl.” Alex cut her off with a steely look. “I’ve had a team of agents set up and working on it, none of which include you, so I have no idea why you would think that you should be involved in the briefings.”

 

“I could have kept her safe! I could have stopped Lena from being taken, she’s carrying my baby for crying out loud!” Kara exclaimed as she began to pace back and forth in an attempt to calm herself. She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her body and her hands were shaking ever so slightly.

 

“Exactly, it’s a conflict of interest.” Alex told her sharply. “The only reason we’ve been able to track Lex in the first place ins because he’s making kryptonite and our system picked up on the radiation signature coming from it. He’s been making an almost constant supply of it everywhere he goes and thanks to the signature, we know where he was last seen. We’re headed there now once we know that it’s safe, we have really good reason to believe that’s where he’ll be holding Lena too, but you can’t be involved. It’s too dangerous for you and the sheer amount of Kryptonite he has leads us to believe he may be constructing a bomb of some sort. It would kill you instantly and you’ll be no good to anyone if you’re dead.” Alex told her as she walked away before even waiting for Kara’s response.

 

Logically, Kara knew that Alex was right but it didn’t make her any less furious. The DEO had _known_ that Lex was back in the country and not one single person had told her, and now Lena and the baby

were gone and she couldn’t do anything to help them.

 

“Please just let me know as soon as you hear anything about my sister, I don’t know if she’s been taken too.” Kara overheard Alex worriedly whisper to one of the agents in the corner and it was like a punch in the gut all over again. Alex didn’t know who she was, she wouldn’t comfort Supergirl and Kara Danvers supposedly has no idea about the existence of the DE. So now Alex was concerned about Kara being missing too and it was all just one big gigantic painful mess.

 

After leaving the DEO, Kara flew to the one and only place that she could currently think of going given everything that had gone on.

 

“Hey! I was just about to call you!” Sam told her with a small smile, although her eyes betrayed the worry that she was clearly feeling as she stepped aside to let Kara into her house. “Alex had the DEO drop me off here before she headed in to work, how are you holding up? I was worried about you, and Alex was going out of her mind, I’m going to text her and let her know that you’re with me. I’ll tell her you ran off to the store to get candy or something and when you got back it was just chaos. If she knows that you’re safe then she’ll be able to fully concentrate on finding Lena.” Sam finished up as she eyed Kara worriedly. “How are you holding up?” she asked softly, and seemingly that was all it took for Kara to break down.

 

She felt her knees go weak beneath her as she fell to the floor, her entire body wracked with sobs as she silently cried. Right now Sam was the only person who knew about her identity and loved Lena just as much as she did. Lena was family to both of them, and the weird sense of comfort and understanding that Sam provided had Kara unable to hold back anything as she cried and cried and cried.

 

Sam simply sat down on the floor with her, holding her close as she offered some silent support. Neither one of them could promise the other that Lena was going to be alright, regardless of how hard they willed it to be true. It was out of their control and they both knew it, so Sam simply held Kara and the two of them prayed that Lena and the baby would be alright, that the strength they knew Lena carried inside of her would be enough to see her through whatever Lex had planned for her.

 

* * *

 

Lena’s head was throbbing as she tried her very best to listen to what Lex was saying to her. She could feel the dried blood on her face from whatever wound it had come from and every little sound felt as though someone was sticking a knife through her ear and into her brain. It had barely been a minute since Lex had appeared, but the pain every time he opened his mouth made it feel like an eternity to her.

 

“P- Please. Don’t hurt the baby.” she gathered as much energy as she could muster to get the sentence out. Logically she knew that it wouldn’t make a difference to Lex, but something deep inside of her, some primal part knew that it was all she could do to help protect her baby right now.

 

This wasn’t a situation where Lena could sacrifice herself, where she could fall to her knees and beg and plead for her baby’s life in place of her own, that wasn’t how it worked regardless of how badly Lena wished it would in this moment.

 

“Oh, I’m not going to hurt your little inbred bastard child Lena.” Lex sneered as Lena tried to calm the sudden urge to throw up at the intensity of the anger that had suddenly filled her. “I’m going to raise it. We finally have our own Super in the family, someone who can _destroy_  those Kryptonian abominations, a match to their powers. We will be unbeatable.”

 

It was taking Lena’s brain a lot longer than usual to process words and actually connect them with their meanings, and after a long few moments of silence, fighting against the panic and anxiety that had almost completely taken over as Lex’s plan fully registered, she was hit with a sudden realization.

 

Her baby didn’t have superpowers. Alex had explained it all to her way back when she had first found out. The cells were taken with the intention of helping to cure cancer patients and further medical research, not to give humans powers. The relief that internally flooded Lena was enough to get her to stop tensing against the restrains around her arms and legs, but she was careful not to let it show anywhere else.

 

This was her survival ticket. If she told Lex the truth then she had no idea what he might do, but she knew that it wouldn’t be anything good. If he found out that this was all for nothing it wouldn’t end well for either of them, and so Lena did her very best to pretend, which wasn’t very hard given the anger and disgust that was currently flowing though her veins anyway.

 

“You’re a monster.” she spat at Lex, although her voice sounded a lot weaker than she had intended it to.

 

“No Lena, I’m a _hero_.” He countered. “It may take a few years, but by the end of this I’ll go down in history as the legend who saved the earth from those scum.” Lex sneered. “Get some rest baby sister, we’ll be moving in the morning.” he said as he patted her leg.

 

“W- Moving? Where are we going?!” Lena asked as she attempted to side up, although she was secured too tightly to the bed to be able to lift more than her head.

 

“Well I can’t very well train a child here, can I?” Lex told her with a roll of his eyes, speaking as though Lena’s entire existence was merely keeping him from his lunch. “I’ll be taking you out of the country, once you give birth we can talk about what to do with you. Maybe you’ll change your mind about the whole thing after that.”

 

And with that, the room fell silent as Lex’s footsteps drifted out of Lena’s earshot. She had no idea what time it was, she wasn’t sure how long she had left until morning came around. Until Lex took her away. She knew that Kara and DEO would be all over her disappearance, but it would be significantly harder for them to find her if Lex fled the country with her.

 

The throbbing pain eventually won as Lena stopped fighting the urge to stay awake. She tried as hard as she could, but she was just so tired and everywhere hurt and she didn’t want to look at the ceiling anymore. So she drifted off, still in her dress from the gala, blood dried on the side of her face and tied down to the bed. Lena gave in to the now overwhelming pull and surrendered to the exhaustion.

 

* * *

 

Kara had received the call from Alex at around 4 in the morning. Both herself and Sam were still wide awake, neither of them able to settle knowing that Lena was out there somewhere and that they weren’t able to help. It was the first time in Kara’s life, the first time since she had come out as Supergirl that she hadn’t been involved in a rescue mission like that. She had saved Lena every other time, she had been able to get to her and assure her that she was alright and that she was safe and then she was able to fly her home, but she couldn’t this time.

 

Alex had no compassion for Supergirl, she didn’t care about her feelings, she just wanted to follow protocol and have Lena recovered as quickly as possible. All of which made perfect sense to Kara, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She wasn’t accustomed to just being Alex’s coworker when she wore the suit, and today had been a painful reality check.

 

The second that the call had come through Kara had all but sprinted out of Sam’s house and shot off into the sky. She landed just outside the hospital within seconds and her heart was pounding in her ears as she ran inside the doors and up to the reception desk.

 

“Lena Luthor! I think they just brought her in.” she all but yelled in the poor woman’s face.

 

“Are you family?”

 

“I- Uh- Yeah! She’s having my baby!” Kara replied frantically, her entire body was desperate to be near Lena. To just see her with her own eyes after imagining the worst for the last few hours.

 

“Are you married? I’m not permitted to give out any information unless you are legally a family member.” The woman recited.

 

“But-..” Kara began before she was cut off.

 

“Kara!” Alex called out as she rushed into the reception area from one of the hallways leading out. “Thank God you’re okay!” she breathed as she pulled Kara into a hug so tight Kara almost felt pain. “I was so worried about you and then Sam text to say that you were with her and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t have been with you but I had to uh-.. I was assisting the team who were in charge of finding Lena and taking down Lex. They have him in custody now and he won’t be a danger from now on.”

 

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Kara asked desperately, although she wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted the answer.

 

“She’s okay I think, she was asleep when we found her and she has a pretty nasty cut on her head from where they hit her, I think it must have knocked her out a little and she definitely has a concussion. We gave her some painkillers in the field but she hasn’t woken up yet. She’ll be fine though, more shaken up than anything else I would guess.” Alex smiled gently as she tucked a stray strand of Kara’s hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry too much, I pulled a few strings and you can go through and be with her.”

 

“Oh god, thank you!” Kara exhaled in relief. “Thank you!”

 

Kara couldn’t prevent the loud sob that escaped her as her eyes finally fell on Lena and she rushed over to her as quickly as her body would physically let her. Lena looked so incredibly tiny and fragile as she lay asleep in the hospital bed. Her skin looked a lot paler than it usually did and the dark bruise that had developed on the side of her forehead was enough to have Kara silently sobbing into the sleeve of her coat as she tried to get herself together. She was overwhelmed by so many different emotions but she was unable to process any of them. Instead she simply stripped off her jacket, tossing it onto the chair beside the bed before she kicked each of her shoes off too. She hesitated barely a moment before gently, __gently__  shuffling up onto the mattress and curling herself protectively around a still sleeping Lena.

 

She didn’t know what to do with herself. The little room that Lena was being kept in had two guards planted outside the door, but other than that it was completely empty of other people. Kara gently ran a hand down the side of Lena’s face, feeling more tears fall as she saw the remnants of blood in her hair. It had clearly been haphazardly wiped from her face in the rush of everything but the sight of it had another loud sob escaping from Kara’s mouth before she could stop herself.

 

“Oh Lena. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” she cried as she lifted Lena’s hand gently to her mouth and pressed a kiss on the top of it. “I thought.. I don’t know what I thought to be honest, I was imagining the worst though. I don’t want to think about my life without you in it, ever. It’s only been a few hours and I’m a total wreck, I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to come get you, but I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” Kara whispered quietly.

 

She knew that she really ought to get some sleep herself, she had been awake the entire night and the anxiety fueled adrenaline that had been preventing her from slowing down for the last few hours was finally beginning to ease off now that she had Lena safely in her arms, but for now she was more than content to just tune into her heartbeat, listening to Lena’s beating away in her chest as a smaller, slightly faster one accompanied it.

 

“I’m glad you’re okay too, little one.” she whispered softly as she rested a hand over Lena’s on top of her bump, content to just lay with Lena for as long as she could until she eventually drifted off herself.

 

* * *

 

When Lena came around a few hours later the first thing that she registered was that her arms and legs were free from the bindings that had been keeping her in place. Her hands instinctively moved to cradle her bump and she let out a sigh of relief at finally being able to do so. Her entire body felt heavy and stiff, but she wasn’t in pain anymore. She felt warm and safe and she simply allowed herself to burrow into it as she drifted off once again.

 

It wasn’t until a long while later that she properly woke up and was actually able to take in her surroundings. It took her a few minutes to be able to open her eyes and keep them open, the light in the room was harsh and she hadn’t quite adjusted to it yet but from what she had been able to make out it seemed that she was in a hospital bed. The little bracelet on her wrist confirmed it as she gently shifted her arm up to her face to inspect it. The pain in her head didn’t feel as intense anymore and from the two monitors in the corner she could see that both her own heart rate and the baby’s heart rate seemed to be normal.

 

Lena let out a loud groan as she shifted herself in an attempt to sit up, only to have a voice come at her from her right and immediately try to settle her back down.

 

“Woah babe, hey, it’s me, it’s Kara, easy now.” she spoke softly as Lena’s eyes fell on the woman beside her. “You’re alright, you’re safe and everything is fine. You’ve been out since last night and we’re at the hospital, but you’re fine and so is the baby.” Kara assured her. “You just need to rest for now, I’ll go get the nurse, okay?” she promised before leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.

 

Lena couldn’t remember anything. Her last memory was falling asleep tied to the bed wherever Lex had taken her, but honestly part of her was glad. She was safe. She was alright, and so was their baby. She was so drained that she couldn’t even muster the energy to cry at the simultaneous hurt and relief that she was currently feeling. All that she wanted was to go home, to be in her own bed and have Kara by her side. She desperately wanted to get out of the curtained room she was currently in, she wanted away from the hospital gray and scratchy sheets.

 

As it turned out, unsurprisingly, the nurses and doctors weren’t too keen on discharging Lena that afternoon right after she had woken up. They wanted to keep her in another night for observation, and Kara had promised to stay with her but it just felt like too much for her.

 

It was such a simple thing, but after everything Lena just wanted her own things around her after having been away from them. For a moment, regardless of how brief, she had wondered if she would ever see her apartment again. If the leftovers in the refrigerator would be eaten and if the clothes in her closet would ever be worn again. She just wanted to go home. She wanted to shower and put on her own pajamas instead of the flimsy hospital gown that she was currently wearing. She had no idea where her gala dress that she had been wearing had gone, but it was the very last thing that she cared about. To be honest, she didn’t really want to lay eyes on it ever again.

 

It took some convincing, and Lena wasn’t discharged until after the clock struck midnight meaning that technically she was discharged on the day that she was supposed to be, but she was finally allowed to go home. Kara hadn’t left her side the entire day and while Lena was exhausted, she was endlessly grateful. She was too tired to think about all of the emotions rattling around inside of her brain, so she had simply boxed them away and made a promise to herself to talk about it as soon as possible. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever, but for tonight at least she was thankful that Kara seemed to understand.

 

That had been the plan. To get back home and not talk about anything. To finally be able to take a shower and wash the remnants of blood from her hair and just curl up in bed. That had been the plan, until Lena had stepped into the bathroom and been unable to undo the button on the back of the hospital gown that she hadn’t taken off in her eagerness to get home. She had simply covered herself up with the dressing gown that Kara had brought for her. She couldn’t reach behind her neck thanks to the pain that she was currently in, and the frustration seemed to be all it took for all of her carefully stored boxes to come tumbling down and spill all over the place.

 

A single sob escaped her, before another, and another, and before she knew it her entire body was wracked with sobs as Kara quickly sped into the bathroom and wrapped Lena up in a tight hug as she pulled her close to her body.

 

“I- I’m sorry.” Lena cried into Kara’s shoulder as Kara held her.

 

“Hey, no, you have nothing to apologize for. This was not your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault.” Kara told her firmly. “If anything I’m the one who’s sorry. I wish I could have gotten to you sooner, but it’s done now. You’re safe and Lex won’t be bothering any of us for a long time.” she promised gently.

 

It took her a few long moments for the sobs to subside before Lena gently pulled back from the hug.

 

“I- I can’t wash my hair.” she admitted with a pained expression and Kara felt her heart sink at the look on her face.

 

“I’ll wash it for you, if you want.” she told Lena, desperate to do whatever she could to help ease her pain a little.

 

“Please.” Lena nodded quietly.

 

She stripped off her hospital gown before tentatively stepping under the hot water, worried that it might sting if she had any cuts or bumps that she didn’t know about, but after a few moments she realized that it was fine and allowed herself to relax as the water cascaded over her. Kara reached out for the shampoo in the corner before squirting some into her hand and setting it back down again. She took extra care as she began lathering it over Lena’s scalp, not wanting to risk hurting her but also wanting to make sure that she was able to clean everything out of her hair before she guided Lena directly under the water and began rinsing the soap from her hair, gently combing her fingers through it as she went.

 

Lena felt so incredibly overwhelmed at the softness of Kara’s touch. It was such a simple gesture, but she was just so incredibly gentle despite the power and strength that she held within her. Lena truly had never felt so loved and taken care of in her entire life.

 

When she finally crawled into bed a little after one in the morning, dressed in clean pajamas and fresh from the shower, Lena felt a lot better than she thought she would at this stage. Kara lay down next to her, allowing Lena to set the boundaries for the night. She was terrified to touch her in case she hurt her, and so Kara waited for Lena to cuddle up to her instead of slotting herself in behind her like she usually would.

 

“I love you.” Lena whispered as she nuzzled into Kara’s chest.

 

“I love you.” Kara replied as she pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on twitter @littleiuthor, or my personal @kashymcgraths :)


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